Feel like a stranger
Posted , 10 users are following.
I feel like a stranger in my own body. I don't remember anything, I feel like I don't recognize my family and friends. I find it hard to "think". I find it hard to find words to talk. Nothing looks familiar anymore. Its like my mind/memory has been erased. Nothing feels real. When i do talk it feels like its not even me talking. Or it feels like i sont even understand what im saying. When i have a conversation with someone it sometimes seems like their talking in a different language. In return I panic and get really bad panic attacks. I'm currently seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist, so I'm really hoping I will get some relief. I can't take this anymore. I feel like this every single day all day long until I finally fall asleep. I'm so scared! I will start crying for no reason because I'm afraid of feeling like this. I'm so scared that their is something wrong with me. My own home doesn't even feel familiar to me.
Does anyone else find it hard to read? When I try to read it's like I'm trying to write something written in another language. I don't know what to do. I'm so scared. Everyday it seems to get worse and worse. I don't want to do anything or go anywheres.
My Mom is my go to person as soon as I start getting anxious I will call her and she cab usually calm me down. But the thoughts and feelings never ever go away. I feel like im losing my mind. I don't know how to think or talk, as writing this I don't even know I know what words to type... Argh!
Is anyone else like this? I feel so alone and I'm so scared.
Can anyone offer any advice?
Sorry for the long post.
0 likes, 13 replies
jan34534 Wrangler
Edited
Ok so it sounds like you're having what is called the depersonalization where you almost feel like you're out of your body. This is very common with severe stress and anxiety. I'm glad you're seeing a therapist keep going even when you start to feel better it's very important.
this has really helped me a lot: go to Google and type in guided meditation for detachment from overthinking. If you have earbuds or headphones put them on, lie down and get very comfortable. Listen to the audio. It really it will really relax your mind which is what you really need because the anxiety is causing all those weird feelings you're having. Calms me way down to where I almost feel like I'm floating. It brings down the anxiety and teaches you how to separate yourself from all the negativity and anxiety. There are many other meditative audios on YouTube that deal with anxiety, generalized relaxation, good sleep etc.
I listen to those a couple times a day and especially when I'm laying down to go to sleep. I hope you feel better soon!
cece01894 jan34534
Posted
That's what I mean depersonalization
Wrangler jan34534
Posted
cece01894 Wrangler
Posted
You are experiencing derealization look it up. It's from trauma even if you haven't experienced trauma it could just be your thoughts and that's why you get so anxious when you start to feel that way. I too have experienced it and it is really scary horrible and nothing helps. All you can do so you know you are real when your experiencing it is count look at things around you and that might help you calm down
connie98118 Wrangler
Posted
hello. I suffered with depersonilization for about a year. I went exactly what you are going through, youre probably reading this and questioning if youre really reading it, yes you are. The thing is, here is how you have to think about it: you said your family feels like strangers but you STILL recognize them as your family. You said your home doesnt feel like home anymore but you STILL recognize it as your home, which is very good. You are still yourself. My doctor explain this condition to me very well, depersonilization happens when you have extreme anxeity or stress and your brain is trying to protect you, it almost creates a shield and makes you second guess your reality. I got better with time, I started going out and found things that made me feel "real" again and kept doing them til I was 100. You will be fine. Problems like this you have to re-train your brain. My mom was also my go to person and everyday she would tell me " Im your mom not a stranger, youre strong you got this." so do you and good luck!
sergio05086 Wrangler
Edited
jan34534 sergio05086
Edited
Hi Sergio
Yes, I have had depersonalization and I know what you’re going through.
It is definitely due to stress and anxiety and your brain is trying to protect you from that so it blocks things out. There have been a few occasions where I was driving in a familiar area and it didn’t look familiar to me. It really scared me!
The neurologist told me my memory is perfectly fine. But to this day if I am stressed, sometimes it can happen on a lesser scale.
I had to change my life such as destress and put myself first for a change. I started exercising regularly, eating healthy, listening to audio meditations on YouTube for anxiety, stress, sleep, proper breathing etc. I do this every day. I stopped taking life so seriously. This is like any other chronic condition so I have to work on it every day. I ended up quitting my horribly stressful job because it wasn’t worth losing my health over. I also talked to a counselor which helped me learn how to manage anxiety. Sometimes it’s difficult to overcome this alone and it really helps to talk to somebody who can help.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this but just remember the main thing is you need to calm down your mind in order for the depersonalization to go away. The more upset you get about this the more you’re going to have depersonalization .
there are many mindfulness meditation on YouTube for anxiety.
I also highly recommend you listening to a meditation called “mindfulness breathing Guided meditation 10 minutes “. There are many others to choose from. But it’s important to learn to help conquer anxiety that leads to the depersonalization.
you’re going to be OK. Just be persistent and you will feel a lot better. You might have some days better than others but eventually things will even out. Let us know how you’re doing! ??😁🌸🌸🌸
robert98726 Wrangler
Edited
Hi there, I have stumbled upon this because I have the same symptoms. It is a relief to know that this is depersonalisation and not any illness such as dementia or anything like that.
I feel the way you feel, I know my mom, dad and brother, but for some reason I have the impression that I do not recognize them anymore and that can be scary. How are you after all this time, did it get better?
Owenswift1998 robert98726
Posted
i too want to know this
glad im not alone 😃
Molly345 Wrangler
Posted
Depersonalization is one of the states that people can develop when they get dissociated, and it is very depressing to get it and have it stay in the picture. It is a peculiar feeling, and you feel separated and unable to relate and be connected to other people, which is very isolating. A dissociative disorder most often develops from some trauma, which you may not even realize what it was. Foremost, try to accept that you have a depersonalization issue since acceptance is the best medicine. Because when you accept things , you find various possibilities to deal with the problems!
When you get negative or disassociate thoughts, you tell yourself that.
Molly345 Wrangler
Posted
Depersonalization is one of the states that people can develop when they get dissociated, and it is very depressing to get it and have it stay in the picture. It is a peculiar feeling, and you feel separated and unable to relate and be connected to other people, which is very isolating. A dissociative disorder most often develops from some trauma, which you may not even realize what it was. Foremost, try to accept that you have a depersonalization issue since acceptance is the best medicine. Because when you accept things , you find various possibilities to deal with the problems!
When you get negative or disassociate thoughts, you tell yourself that.
Wrangler
Posted
Unfortunately I am still struggling with this daily. Some days are definitely better then others. I've been having a really hard time lately. It's so difficult because it makes me think I'm losing my mind or that theres something wrong that the doctors missed.
HazelSato99 Wrangler
Posted
I found this based on a Google search, I can relate to everything you are saying. Its strange because I've been feeling this way since I've been a small child I remember telling my mother "I don't feel real." And she would get frustrated with me and tell me to cut it out. It happened especially when I was in a pool, or after I ate, sometimes I can just turn my head and I'll feel so out of my body. Since this has been happening so long to me I wonder sometimes if I've been having some kind of temporal lobe epilepsy problem that has never been diagnosed, I've seen doctors in the past and told them how I feel but they don't pay attention or ignore that part completely. Maybe one day if I get enough money I'll see a neurologist again.
I've been researching this for years, and I notice most people who get this get this later on in life either by weed or some other kind of drug or alcohol use or extreme stress. And its so bizarre but I haven't come across anyone who has had DP and DR since childhood, at least not as young as I remember. They say it gets easier but I've been dealing with it for almost 30 years now and it doesn't. its hard to look at my family when I feel so disconnected, its hard to drive when I don't recognize my own hands and you can't tell anyone cause they'll tell you to suck it up get over it etc. I guarantee if people felt the way we did all of a sudden they wouldn't be able to cope.
Some days are better than others, I think when I did yoga it helped but I haven't worked out in a year which may have increased the weirdness. I'm not sure, I'm not sure how to work or how to go out anymore, everything feels bright and unfamiliar but I know what it is. Its so weird to know what something is who someone is but not recognize them, its like something is off but you can't put your finger on it and its a very unsettling feeling.
I stopped talking about the strangeness in my real life and I just talk to people online about Depersonlization and Derelization, people outside of it don't get it they give me hateful stares like I lost my mind judgemental glances.