Feel like I'm reaching the end

hi i understand been there shaun you dont need anyone who doesnt want you try not to let them take anymore rent in your head. time is a great healer ! sorry to hear about your dog but was for the best and will be with you! your other dog is with you take comfort in this.. keep strong time will heal this hang on

julie

Thank you Julie

I transformed from the luckiest happiest man in the world to the saddest in the space of a two minute phone call. I have lost 2 out of the 3 things that I loved in the whole world , i'm worried for myself. Already thinking xmas day might just be the worst day and just too unbearable. I don't think I will be missed if I wasn't here.

Yeah I truly understand your heartbreak it was the cause of my depression as it brought up more stuff I hadn't dealt with properly from my past I had to seek help from my gp in the end and I am on antidepressants and seeing a counsellor I to thought about ending it but I chose the harder path because I want to be me again believe me it has been so hard going through this hardest thing I have ever had to go through I just truly hope that the people on here and my very good friends are right and it truly does get better and I can overcome this you will find people will support you on here and try to give the best advice they can I would say go see your gp and tell what you have said on here they can help if you need to please feel free to pm me anytime and I will try ro respond straight away please take care 

Thank you Jason

I have finally made a gp appointment as I feel like I getting worse and am going to have a major meltdown soon and then who knows. Can't get to see him until 10th november...seems like a long time away. At my age it just all seems pointless  as all I can see in my future is unhappiness , why me ?

Sorry i've just deleted a long message , too many details..

I am self employed and work by myself. Some days I don't speak to anyone at all. That is where I miss her , even if we didn't see each other we would speak and text everyday , now I am here every night lonely , bored and tearful. I live in a very quiet place shut away from everyone. I avoid discussions with people about my troubles as I just feel like bursting into tears , even typing on here is hard for me.

Sorry to hear you are experiencing similar.

Hi Shaun, yes i understand, relationship break ups are never easy and it takes time to get through this. Lonliness is not good either. You have managed to come to this forum and that's a start. We are supportitive here. Sorry you have to wait so long to see a GP, when you do tell them how you are feeling. Counselling maybe the way forward and medication to help while you wait for this. I have been in these situations and suicidal thou mainly when i was younger and i am still here and life can get better. Nobody will judge you here and we will try to help. 

Shaun, I can relate to your life having being left nowhere by my gf few years ago..sorry to hear abt ur dog and agree with julie that it was best for him

..pls hold urslf and believe you will come out of this..time will heal all your wounds bt try to keep ur mind busy else negative thoughts can really pull u down..tk care

Thank you both for your replies

That's really tough Jason , I am sorry. My situation is not dissimilar although no pregnancy involved. She is with someone new though which started without so much of a pause after me. I have seen pictures of them together online and they look so happy which hurts even more so I have stopped looking but the images are burned into me now unfortunately. Losing my dog has been really hard too but the heartbreak is worse.I always thought he would be buried in her lovely garden next to hers but instead his ashes are in a little box in front of me.

Weekends are worse. I drive around the countryside aimlessly . Am scared that one day I will just pull over somewhere and go to sleep. I am sorry to go on , i don't even feel worthy of sharing my story on here to be honest.

Home from work and staring at the walls dreading the next two days.

Have already cried buckets this evening , really not sure I can take much more.

I feel like I'm never going to come out of this and that my dark thoughts are deepening. I'm still keeping up the happy (ish) persona in my daily life but am worried that I am going to have some sort of public meltdown and be carted away.

Has anyone else felt like this ?

Thank you Jason

My mind feels really messed up at the moment.

I nearly crashed my car today , was so close and the other driver got out and really had a go at me. It was my fault. Trouble is it didn't bother me too much at all when it really should have.

Have been sat here for over an hour just thinking about turning the light on , have I shut down ?

No mate you havent shut down just know that help is out there put the light on make a cuppa tidy just pick something and do it i cleaned my fish tank out yesterday just because i didnt want to i just had to do something different anything to stop me playing on my xbox all day lol and i am ghetting drunk today with my mate so should be fun to start then ill want to crash and feel sorry for myself then back to saying no more im having fun again sounds like you need to let it all out if i knew you mate i would sit with you and listen then not say a dam thing about it and let you come up with ideas yourself on how you think you can overcome this because i know you want to we all do i want to get over mine i truly do and ill do anything to do it

Thanks Jason

I hope you have a good time tonight.

Sorry just deleted loads of stuff again. Am worried about appearing selfish and self centred when there are more deseving people out there for sympathy.