Feel like Iv lost my mind, I don't know who I am anymore

Iv never written on these blogs before but I want to find people who feel the same as me, I hope I'm not alone in this. Just over a month ago i had a serve anxiety attack. I had had them previously when I was younger but never this bad. I was on the train and had to turn back, I still remember it now, I had no idea what I was afraid of but for some reason I panicked I lost all control. Since that attack I had 5 afterwards in the space of a week. I didn't attend college or work and it was one of the worst weeks of my life. I didn't go out couldn't really drive anywhere I didn't know what was going on and I had constant intense headaches they were awful. I soon went to the doctors and got some medication but I don't take them, they proscribed me beta blockers and are meant to calm me down before an attack but I didn't like them and they didn't help I just felt abit light headed. I now have serve anxiety all day every day I'm not getting the attack I'm just feeling fear constantly I'm worried about my self and I feel like I'm losing the plot or that Iv lost it already. My thought process seems wrong and different to everyone else. I'm thinking weird, strange things and I don't want to start believing them. I'm finding it hard to relate to people and concentrate at work as a result of this I didn't go in yesterday I just panicked and thought I wouldn't be able to cope. Iv also been feeling very low and depressed. I wake up and don't want to be here I have no motivation and a huge lack of energy I can't work out how I used to be able to. I don't want to attend parties with my friends it all seems to much and to much pressure. I need to get out of this mind set but it's so difficult I try and be happy and smile when I see people but inside I feel empty and emotionless. My therapist helps but that feeling soon fades as the anxiety soon takes over again. I hope someone can relate?!

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