Feel like Iv lost my mind, I don't know who I am anymore

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Iv never written on these blogs before but I want to find people who feel the same as me, I hope I'm not alone in this. Just over a month ago i had a serve anxiety attack. I had had them previously when I was younger but never this bad. I was on the train and had to turn back, I still remember it now, I had no idea what I was afraid of but for some reason I panicked I lost all control. Since that attack I had 5 afterwards in the space of a week. I didn't attend college or work and it was one of the worst weeks of my life. I didn't go out couldn't really drive anywhere I didn't know what was going on and I had constant intense headaches they were awful. I soon went to the doctors and got some medication but I don't take them, they proscribed me beta blockers and are meant to calm me down before an attack but I didn't like them and they didn't help I just felt abit light headed. I now have serve anxiety all day every day I'm not getting the attack I'm just feeling fear constantly I'm worried about my self and I feel like I'm losing the plot or that Iv lost it already. My thought process seems wrong and different to everyone else. I'm thinking weird, strange things and I don't want to start believing them. I'm finding it hard to relate to people and concentrate at work as a result of this I didn't go in yesterday I just panicked and thought I wouldn't be able to cope. Iv also been feeling very low and depressed. I wake up and don't want to be here I have no motivation and a huge lack of energy I can't work out how I used to be able to. I don't want to attend parties with my friends it all seems to much and to much pressure. I need to get out of this mind set but it's so difficult I try and be happy and smile when I see people but inside I feel empty and emotionless. My therapist helps but that feeling soon fades as the anxiety soon takes over again. I hope someone can relate?!

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  • Posted

    Hi Niamh

    Sorry your feeling so bad.

    You have to get yourself back to the doctors and consider seeing a psychiatrist and have therapy.

    Anxiety thrives on fear and you are letting it win.

    It is very scary but if you want to get control of your life you must get help and you must try to help yourself

    Stay Strongcheesygrin

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your response! I have a private therapist once a month, may have to change it to one a week with how I'm feeling at the moment. I also go to a anxiety and depression group once a week for behaviour techniques, Iv just started this so I hope after a while it all starts to kick in and helps me defeat this.
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  • Posted

    what helps you relax and feel less anxious?
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    • Posted

      Being around familiar surroundings, I also give my self prep talks and tell my self that I will be okay and it will all fade away. That does help and clams me down, but soon after I just feel the same.
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    • Posted

      Yes I'm the same, I struggle to get out the house when I'm like that. For me, being alone sometimes brings it on, I'm thinking more and there's no one to distract me!
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    • Posted

      Same haha. I committed to moving out of my parents place before this whole anxiety relapse, and since then, I go home pretty often if I get overly anxious or have an anxiety filled day. Being around my home and my parents almost acts like a "mental reset" day for me. I'm able to be a lot more mindful and I feel safe, but I know I cant live like this forever.

      Being alone sucks. I live with a roommate and he's a good buddy, but whenever he isn't home, I often get scared that i'm going to collapse and no one can help. Helplessness is a huge problem.

      are you the same?

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    • Posted

      When I'm at home I still get very bad anxiety but when I'm with my mum it seems to fade a lot. I moved house last summer this is when it really started...I'm sure if I went to my old house I would feel anxiety free! But I just have to get over that that's not going to happensad keep visiting your perents if you feel happy there, do you take medication? When I'm alone I can feel my mind playing games on me, and I feel like I'm going to end up going crazy that I'm not normal.. Stay strong and you can fight this!
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