Feel so depressed and paranoid - I think people think that I smell
Posted , 115 users are following.
I'm in my mid-twenties and am female. I have suffered with anxiety and depression since I was a teenager, tried CBT and Fluoextine and Citalopram. Came off Citalopram at the beginning of the year, and have been anti-d free since.
Everything has been going great, I started a new job, have been exercising lots and eating healthily, and my mental attitude has been much better and I have been feeling positive about myself and life.
At my last job, where I'd been for many years, there was often a weird musty smell around a space about 12 foot square, and my colleagues always joked it was an elderly coworker. People sitting immediately around me were forever sneezing, sniffing and complaining of a bad smell. No one ever told me it was me or hinted or anything, and I am a clean person so thought it couldn't be me. An outspoken girl said it smelt "unpleasant" and like "sweaty salmon" on a few occasions. One time she sprayed deodorant into the air. She sat about 8 foot from me.
I started my new job and over the past few weeks I have noticed a weird smell near where I sit but only when I walk away and come back a few minutes later. To me it smells like an onion-y smell. People walking past my desk constantly sniff literally as they walk past my desk.
Yesterday a colleague said it smelt like gone off food, and today she looked at me, called another colleague over and whispered but I heard the words "smells"and "pi55" and she asked the other girl if she could smell it too and she agreed.
About a week ago, the other girl was talking about someone using the communal toilets and leaving urine all over the seat and she said how "that person must be getting lots of it on themselves too". Again, I didn't twig as I never leave urine on the seat and always make sure I clean myself thoroughly.
I use public transport to commute in to work and people on the train around me constantly sniff. Last week an elderly man sat behind me and sniffed literally every five seconds for the whole journey. I thought it must be because I smell and I was getting so paranoid and hurt, I wanted to turn around and punch him (I would never do anything like that).
Last week my manager asked me how I found the "hygiene" in the office which I thought was strange and then elaborated that he meant my commute. That made no sense but at the time it didn't click.
I shower every morning, wash my hair daily and use antipersperant and deodorant. I apply Perspirex nightly and use body spray and perfume. I clean sweaty areas regularly and carry change of underwear and wipes etc with me, I am so paranoid about my personal hygiene. I also started taking Chlorophyll supplements and reducing caffeine.
I do have greasy sebhorreic dermatitis but I'm treating it.
I think I do tend to be quite a sweaty person and my crotch does get sweaty but only usually when I work out, in which case everywhere else gets sweaty too.
Am I being paranoid?! No one has outright said that I smell, ever. This is making me so depressed, I feel humiliated, but I am a clean person. I feel suicidal. Please help me, I am really at the end of my tether, I am so unhappy. I don't feel like my family want to help, and I don't really have any close friends to talk to. This post is 100% serious.
17 likes, 165 replies
antonio09085 depressed21652
Posted
Oh my D: I have noticed that almost all the people suffering this situation are women!
But what happens to a man? I don't have periods or stuff like that
at least I'm happy to know that I'm not the only one
ryan58339 depressed21652
Posted
This is me all over and I have suffered with anxiety and depression since a teenager and I'm 22 now. I suffer with hyperthyroidism which is overactive sweat glands, Go to your pharmacy in your local supermarket and request Dryclor as it a over the counter anti perspirant and my God it bloody works. But I also have become increasingly more paranoid and anxious in social situations even with family thinking I either smell of sweat or sh*t even tho I'm assured I do not I cannot help thinking it and i cannot deal with this no longer as I'm spending ridiculous amounts on expensive strong EDTs such as Paco Raban Millions just to mask the smell which seems to be in my head. But due to anxiety whenever people talk quietly around me I think they say that I smell and even when questioning said persons I'm told it's not what they said. I shower daily and make sure I'm clean. The disorder we are suffering with is olfactory disorder syndrome which if you look into it you may be reassured that the smell is all in your head. Your brain can believe anything if it is repeated enough times and will eventually become a norm. Honestly the best thing to do is research on that problem and I think you'll feel a lot better in yourself knowing it's all in your head, I mean I question it still but it's relaxed me a bit knowing this.
I really hope this helps as I know how it feels and it is horrible.
Ryan
ryan58339
Posted
Bogmonster ryan58339
Posted
I have hyperhydrosis down to ME and meds and it is horrible. I was prescribed a medication (can't think of the name) and it made me so constipated that my stools had to be manually removed from my backside. Be very careful what meds you take for this, not very nice at all.
BM
Bogmonster
Posted
BM
john59790 depressed21652
Posted
Hi,
I am having the same problem. I can see the looks in other peoples faces it really bothers me. i have stressed induced IBS. But I can't smell anything. I don't know what to do. I shower and shampoo in the morning and after I workout. I think I may have a fungus. I don't know. Has things changed for you?
John
Bogmonster john59790
Posted
Depending on where the 'fungus' is you might want to try Daktarin Gold available over the counter at pharmacies. I have a bit of an issue in the groin area ocassionally and this works wonders (it does smell terrible- yuk). It also works for athletes foot which I think is very similar, just on feet.
BM
Bogmonster depressed21652
Posted
Your post has interested me. There was a complaint about me at work and my manager (who lives in Germany) phoned me up to say that the complaint was that I smell. Bassed on where the path of the information I knew it could only be one of 3 people who made the complaint and I am sure I know which (maybe I mean witch) person. Anyway, I found it totally devistating. It came on top of a few other things but it was the straw that broke the camels back and led to a failed suicide attempt. This was a couple of years ago. Now I do get very sweaty because I have ME/CFS and now a load of psychiatric medication that makes me sweat. It is also possible I was not taking hygine as seriously as I should. Many people tend to let themselves go a bit if you are unwell, however still think it was a very nasty attack. I now take hygene more seriously and I am paranoid about it. I hate that when I go out for lunch that the small bit of exercise causes me to sweat excesively. We have changed the layout of the offiice and I no longer sit anywhere near the person who complained. HR made sure of that. My collegues I sit with are all great now. My collegues know I suffer ME, GAD, depression, personality dissorder & epilepsy and take a lot medication and they accept that causes me problems. I am also very tired and fall asleep a lot at my desk, they give me a nudge & wake me up, especially if I am on a conference call.
The person who complained is still very unpleasant to me so I just pretend to be delighted to see her all the time and cheerily wave and say 'hi Suzzie'.
BM
mani39267 depressed21652
Posted
Hey streaks there a way we can chat ? I'm having the same problem !!
kuzza03987 depressed21652
Posted
2017 now and still good to see this post is active.
I can understand what you're going through bang on.
My problems started in 2008 and has been with me all these years ever since. The stress is unbelievable to go through daily.
Mine seems to have 'evolved' if this problem can actually do lol and now in situations where I am really close to people or if someone could near me to sit down etc I begin to get really really hot automatically and then because I believe the person next to me is notice the heat I'm given off, I just become even more hottest and begin to sweat. Funny thing is I know I don't have to and there is nothing wrong but I just don't want people to think I smell and now it has made me get hot flushes which in result leads to perspiration and me getting extra worried.
Love all the help response you got and to know other people have similar problems and are going through this gives me a little relief.
I would love to meet someone who is affected by this syndrome in per so we can get a lot off our shoulders. I believe this would also help.
2normal kuzza03987
Posted
I know exactly how you feel! My washing machine broke so as a result my work shirts smelled bad. I've had problems with BO in the past due to hormone issues, so I knew that was worsening the situation. Naturally, I felt so mordified but continued work as normal until I resolved the problem. This caused many coworkers who already disliked me to gossip and spread even more rumors about me. They'll say things like "she smells so bad I want to cry, and she's so gross and disgusting". I try not to let it bother me but hearing it everyday drains my soul, especially since I'm doing everything in my power to fix it. Now I get so stressed going to work that I feel physically ill before my shift starts. I'm constantly worrying that I smell and I think this causes me to sweat even more. Personally I think we may be making the problem worse by constantly worrying!
Anyway I'm glad to know I'm not alone
kuzza03987 2normal
Posted
Definitely always worrying about it makes it worse.
But it's very hard not to. I mean I'm always self conscious of myself now more than ever.
Would love to go back to the way I was without a worry about this at all. The effect it has on me is just killing me.
I know I don't smell, however I avoid getting too close to people altogether wether that is in a shop or at work or even just walking as I don't want people to notice 'if' I do smell.
It's getting much worse for me to the point where if anyone comes very near me, that can be in a queue I start to sweat and get very hot just thinking that they are near and ultimately this worsens my thoughts on if I do, because if I didn't smell before then I believe now I do and people will definitely notice it since I am sweating and the heat is noticeable to them.
People on this forum who are genuinely affected should have a meet up so in person we can share and interact and see how we react.
Would be a great idea. What's your thoughts?
2normal kuzza03987
Posted
kuzza03987 2normal
Posted
I'm doing okay I guess..
Yes we can interact on the whatsapp group and I believe it would be much more easier and better.
All that would like to be added to the group, please message me privately or alternatively just reply here if you have any questions. Thank you.
travis1998 kuzza03987
Posted