Feel worthless and as if I can’t cope anymore

Posted , 4 users are following.

I’ve been on citalopram for nearly 4 years but my dose was only increased last September. Things improved but now I feel awful again. My Mum died last July after a long battle with Alzheimer’s. It was a heartbreaking ordeal seeing an immensely humorous, gifted and intelligent loved one decline and I’ve just had my first Mother’s Day without her which has been very hard. Despite this I feel that my main problems are with my job as a primary teacher. The demands, expectations and workload is intolerable at the moment. Many teachers are equally burdened but this time I feel totally inadequate (despite 27years experience) and useless. It is always a difficult time of year preparing children for national tests but this year seems worse. I have a young son who is in his first year at high school and needs support with homework but I have so much work every evening I have little time to help him. My husband works abroad at least 2-3 days a week. All I do is my job and domestic chores. I never get any recreational time for myself. In addition I have to support my elderly, recently bereaved father. I have developed a nervous twitch in my eye and I’m having panic attacks. Palpitations one minute, cold sweats and at other times complete numbness and detachment. Can’t imagine what I would be like without the drugs. 

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Youve certainly had and are having a tough time. You are definitely not worthless, your family and school kids would absolutely agree with this. Id say that cit probably works for you, are you able to see your doctor about increasing your dose, ie the max is 40mg? Yoga works for me, especially a gentle class in the evening. Your work load and responsibility puts me to shame. All the best.
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  • Posted

    I’m so so very sorry for your loss. What a sad experience to go through. You have too much on your plate.

    First try to get your meds adjusted

    Second is there anyone who can help your son wit his homework?

    Third you need a break from all responsibilities a night out? The library to read a book? Buy some new clothes?

    Fourth your dad does need you right noe, but could your son fill in for you a time or two ?

    Fifth work like you said this is a very busy and hard time due to testing if your meds are adjusted again you may feel more energetic and more interested

    Call the dr ASAP before you break down

    Like I said you are under a lot of pressure not to mention bereavement. You can come here any time you want to cry, talk, vent and ask questions and ask for advice. All of us are in the same boat here.

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  • Posted

    Hello Sally. WOW! I can really understand why you are feeling so..overwhelmed! I am so sorry that you lost your mom I know you miss her and that sorrow is deep. When I lost my mother I grieved for a long time and you have to be grieving too. Wish you had time for some grief counseling because you need it and deserve it. Are you in the states because here teachers are finished in May. Just hoping for you. It's a sad thing that your husband is away during the week because you need him desperately don't you? Could you afford to get help with domestic chores and everything else just to get you over this hump?  We will be here to support you! Please keep us posted. Diane

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your kind thoughts. I’m in the UK so teaching until the end of July. I do have domestic help with the cleaning and husband does do lots at the weekend but during the week when he’s away domestic chores are down to me. My 12 year old is gradually getting the idea he can help too. 
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