Feeling Alone

Posted , 11 users are following.

This Christmas has been my first since my fibro diagnosis, and it’s been hellish.  I’ve felt ill, flu like, everyday. I’ve had no energy, and constant nausea. I’m full of guilt for my family, I must be hard work to live with. But I also feel resentment, they haven’t tried to understand what I’m going through and I definitely feel like it’s an uphill climb I have to do by myself. Any advice from anybody on how to cope mentally, and not feel like I’ve lost all my independence would be great smile 

2 likes, 11 replies

Report / Delete

11 Replies

  • Posted

    Dear Emma

    I have no idea how old you are or how long you have had FM but at any age it must be pretty horrible.

    My recent an present partner has had to deal with it along with other things and I am slowly understanding what she has to deal with. Like you, some of her family seem to have no conception of how it effects one so it is a double wammy.

    Sorry that I cannot offer anything apart from my good wishes to you for some more useful postings.

    Cheers Richard

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I have not been diagnosed with it yet but I'm pretty sure I have it. My mother, aunt, and cousin have been diagnosed and I have a lit of the same pain they have. I remember when I was young I didn't understand why my mom didn't want to or really couldn't do certain things. I was young. It has taken me all of these years to really understand the toll it takes on the body and on the mind. Now I have the same issues with my kids understanding. I hope it gets better for you soon.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Emma, I definitely know how you feel. I have the same symptoms and then some everyday and not all my family understands. It can be discouraging. But keep thinking positive and are you on any antidepressants? If not you might want to talk to your physician about getting on something. And if you are it might need adjusting. Some days it’s very  very hard especially being so fatigued . Now I don’t know what all you have tried like acupuncture, physical therapy and meds but I will say know that you are not alone, I feel what you feel and keep coming on this site because it helps. I vent from time to time but I do my best to keep moving forward. If you check out my post titled horrific pain to know more about me and meds I take. Stay encouraged.
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Emma. Sorry to hear you are not feeling the best. Well it seems you have a very high indication that you could have Fibromyalgia since it is in your close family. Well first of all sweetie, no one who does Not have the condition, can really relate to how we feel at times. It can be quite debilitating. So like Denise mentioned, you are never alone in your sufferings. There is a whole world of us out there girl. You will have some better days Emma I promise. But at this time of year, the expectations are ridiculously high and when you get right down to it, Xmas and New Years are some of the most stressful times of the year. Obligation to buy gifts, family reunions where many dormant issues can ressurface, house full of guests and all the preparations involved, too much drinking, overindulgences, etc. There is also the hype before Xmas and an often Deflation after it is over. The commercial world sets up an image on their ads that ‘it’s the most wonderful time of the year’, but this is not the case for most people. They should change the song to ‘its the most stressful time of the year’. The stores have to place ads which often assault us on the radio and the TV. There are Sales everywhere and we ‘must’ rush out and get the best bargain or we can miss out! Only a few days left! And realistically it can be a drain on people’s finances. Then there is the expectations of that family ‘togetherness’ and for some, being alone at this time of year, makes them feel very isolated. Peace and Love that they associate with the holidays, should be the norm at any other time of the year. Kindness and compassion is something that should be demonstrated to one another all year long not just one specific time. So try not to fall into all the Hype about it all sweetie. I am sure that you have many who love and do appreciate you. I think that it is mostly our perception and negative thinking that makes us feel much worse than we should. It is a challenge to live with pain and fatigue when we see others going about their lives seemingly fine. But we are not behind anyones’ private doors sweetie. We have no idea all the drama that can be going on in people’s lives. Everyone has challenges today Emma. Life is stressful and full of frustrations and many suffer with serious health conditions. So never think that you are unique in your situation. I have found that the less I try to explain things to my loved ones or friends, the better it is for all involved. I respect my limitations and I live within them. It is what it is and the more you respect yourself and your circumstances Emma, the more others will as well. We do not have to excuse or justify how we feel. This is what we have to cope with and so we just get on with it and do the best we can to manage our condition. Yesterday I did a bit too much in housework, so today my lower back is in a lot of pain. So today, I must rest and recoup. I also find that managing our emotions is a key to our mental stability. Don’t believe everything you think Emma. Get some self help books on self esteem and cognitive therapy. I have learnt a great deal about these issues and it has helped me to gain a great deal of strength and self confidence. And this positive self image translates to the other members of your family sweetie. One day at a time! Sending you warm hugs! Maggie
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi,

    It does feel lonely at times and feels like ur going mad I have suffered with pain for 6 years and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia this year.

    It's been the same for me over Christmas can't sleep at nite panic etc wen I feel like this I call samaritans the number is 116123 they can't give advise but listen to how u feel which is gd to get of ur chest they are 24/7 to its not a solution but its a coping aid and works for me.

    Family are hard to talk to a they don't understand b they don't want to see u like it so try to ignore it but just remember they love u and will never stop.

    I hope u find ur way to cope as I am still looking but I find people very helpful on here

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Emma,

    I was diagnosed with Fibro about 6 years ago. This year the lead to xmas I was bed ridden for 4 days and I missed my wife's family xmas. I have two young daughters and it is tough. You have to keep being positive and spend time with them when you can. Try Acupuncture and give it  areal go, not just a few times. I persisted with tit and it dramatically relieves the symptoms. 

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Have you ever looked into CBD oil ?  I'm on the oil because I have a brain disease that can take my vision as well as an auto immune disease. It is certainly changed my life. No more migraines, no more pain. 

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Fibro-mistery will be resolved till the next summer. I can guarante you that! Chin up!
    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up