Feeling ashamed of myself!!

Posted , 6 users are following.

I just suddenly hit me about having anxiety. I tell people about it but I'm ashamed and embarrassed to be this way. It camr out of the blue and changed my life. I should be happy but I'm not a lot of the time. I'm a rubbish mum and wife since it happened, I just can't shake it off. I pretend to but it's still there. I hate the fact I'm on antidepressants and wonder if I will ever come off them or change my ways of thinking. I've had to increase my citalopram to 20mg this week so maybe that's making me upset. I just dread to think how I would be without them and am I being myself whoever that is. I was feeling positive on holiday, but reality has hit me. Will I ever get the old me back?

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    You're not alone im a mother and wife as well, and I too feel as if I lost myself and will never get that old thing back.
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  • Posted

    hi guys. i'm appauled to hear you blame yourselves for the anxiety & other conditions u are having to deal with. how can u blame yourselves so? u didn't ask for these conditions? u didn't go out a contract these conditions from destructive or hedonistic lifestyles? if u got diabetes or inherited a specific condition from your parents, would u blame yourselves for that too? these are conditions that are porly understood and generally speaking, poorly managed. this is NOT your fault. you are doing your best for your kids & partners. so please don't add to your work load by blaming yourselves. you are all doing a STERLING job with parenting & partnering whilst dealing with these horrid conditions.

    please give yourselves a pat on the back for your sterling work

    Caitlin

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  • Posted

    I want to echo what Caitlin said.  You are nto to blame for having depression and/or anxiety.  Trouble is, depression often expresses itself as self blame.  Everything that goes wrong is my fault and I hate myself, that sort of thing.  Try to remember it isn't true!. 

    I have spent my life telling myself I couldn't ever get it right.  That belief stopped me doing a lot of things I could have done.  But it also taught me a lot about mental illness and now I do my best to help other people based on what I have been through.

    I still get the depressive episodes,. but I can manage them a lot better than I could before, because I understand that blaming myself is irrational.

    Amy, give the increased dose of Citalopram time to work -- you may find that having a higher dose is the best help you can get right now.  But get yourself some kind of counselling or therapy as well if possible.

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  • Posted

    Hi Amy, you poor thing, I know exactly how you feel.....never,...ever feel ashamed or any emotion similarly....

    I have been depressed for many years, like yourself, out of the blue....I had a very, very very bad alcohol problem, which after many hospitalizations I have overcome...I am on 200 mg of sertraline daily and have been for many years, also 300 mg of pregabalin...I too feel ashamed, I became a grandma eight weeks ago to a beautiful little grandson xx I love him and my four children to bits..but still have the most AWFUL down days...no one ever wants to feel this way but it is not our fault...please never give up...great big hugs to you DEIRDRE xxxx

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  • Posted

    Anxiety,depression,nerves is not prejudiced on who it affects I've seen rugby players reduced to tears over panic attacks,I've known business men struggle with work because of anxiety. It is easy to believe we are weaker than other people because of what we are going through, I remember my dad telling me to pull my self together when I was in my twenties, then later on in life he started suffering with anxiety. He was so apologetic.So whenever you feel ashamed look around at people and understand that it could happen to anyone, and you are not a weak person. I know its hard when you got little ones but I bet your doing an awesome job you just don't feel like you are because of your anxiety, but that's anxiety just playing it's tricks. Hope you feel better soon xx
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