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Feeling completely isolated

Posted , 5 users are following.

pommie29
pommie29

I found this site this morning whilst looking for some self help information online.  Would be grateful for any input from anyone on here.

I am from the UK but currently living in Australia.  I moved out here 5 months ago alone to try and see if i could build my career and make a new life in the sun.  Various things haven't gone according to plan and i have decided to make my way back to the UK at the end of July.  I would say that prior to me making the move, i had mild depression but this has dramatically increased in the past 2 months and i am now waking up every morning with a sense of panic that i am going to have to go through another day here.  Sometimes when i am out walking i start getting symptoms that feel like an impending panic attack - i am able to control this at the moment with breathing exercises and visualisations.  I have lost a significant amount of weight as i don't have an appetite anymore through feeling homesick.  I have made friends here but i don't know them well enough to unload all of this on them.  I have tried talking to my friends at home but they seem to think that because i am living somewhere nice and travelling, that it really isn't bad and they keep brushing it off.  If i want to see a Dr over here, i have to pay which i don't have the money for and as i am moving around, i would never see the same doctor twice.  I have a very strong family history of depression with my parents and both of my siblings requiring therapy and/or medication in the last few years. 

I am unable to change my flight home as that would mean me buying a completely new ticket which i don't have the funds for so i am stuck here.  If anyone has any good tips about dealing with things like this, i would be really grateful.

0 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • norman42567
    norman42567 pommie29

    Posted

    Hi Pommie,

    Unlucky things are not working out for you. Do you know a good med you have tried before as if so perhaps worth the expense of seeing a Dr so you can get stabilised? Also then Maybe your airline can change your ticket for medical reasons, maybe the Dr can support it with a letter?

    If not then self help is the way, look up a site by Douglas Bloch also check out his videos.

    Make yourself content in the knowledge your going home soon, try and free your mind from your worries, remember their only thoughts so don't think about them. See if you can make a plan to keep yourself busy till you leave. It will feel easier when you have an exit plan to keep to.

    I also have problems, through an operation I came down with clinical depression, lost my job and home in Singapore, now staying my bro place in KL but it's not working out here. My daughter in Wales just offered us a home until I'm back on my feet, so I think we will go where we're welcome! Life is rarely easy and straight forward, many things are not in our control so don't wory about things you have no control about.

    Take care and remember you have many friends on this site!

    Norm 

  • kat50
    kat50 pommie29

    Posted

    Hi pommie, sorry to hear your not feeling so good. I think you need to see a doctor to over there. You say your family suffer with depression so they will fully understand how you are feeling. Could they send some money to you to see a doctor? Even trying a low dose of anti depressants might help until you come home. I know how you feel. Depression is the most awful illness. We are all here to help .I'd never written on a forum before but I find this forum very friendly and helpful. 
  • pommie29
    pommie29

    Posted

    Thanks, i really appreciate your replies,

    I have never actually taken any medication previously as i have never been this bad,,,only ever had mild symptoms that can be related to life events.  This is the first time that i have ever felt so bad.  I am slightly reluctant to start on medication as a first line of treatment...not because i have anything against it, i have just seen how hard it can be to stop through friends and family going through it.  My sister and best friend yoyo with antidepressants and this is something i am keen to avoid.  This is also another reason i haven't raised it with my family...my mum is almost med free after about 10 years on Citalapram and i think that knowing that i am so down at the moment would put her back a step or two.

    From  those that have taken them, am i right in thinking that most antidepressants take a good 6-8 weeks to have an effect?

    I will definitely look up the Douglas Bloch information.  Many thanks.

    • kat50
      kat50 pommie29

      Posted

      They say that most anti depressants do take a while to get into your system which is a pain as you want to start feeling better quickly. I can understand you not wanting your mum to worry but as she has suffered with depression in the past she will fully understand how you are feeling. On the other hand she would worry about you being so far from home. Can you talk to your sister? Sometimes it helps just to chat to someone who understands. You can always come on here and chat it seems very friendly.
  • mich31991
    mich31991 pommie29

    Posted

    Hi Pommie

    I'm new on here, so bear with me. Hope you're feeling not too bad as you're reading this. As I know from experience, going abroad, even to somewhere that "seems familiar", is extremely tough, and it can have an effect without you even realising it. I want to suggest that I can read your mind, but you may well feel a bit 'foolish' because you don't feel great and yet you're in the most amazing place in the world (supposedly). Maybe going abroad has triggered something which was lying dormant. Am I right in thinking that the return to the UK is definite? If so, then you'll be back here fairly soon. And also, are your family aware of the way you are feeling? Or is it something that you keep to yourself?

    Michael

     

  • carmel83758
    carmel83758 pommie29

    Posted

    You need to get through it day by day and if necessary hour by hour by concentrating on the positives rather than the negatives. Instead of thinking I WISH I COULD GO SOONER or whatever think about how it could have been taking longer and you having something to look forward to. Other people do not have something to look forward to and you do.
  • jacqueline01135
    jacqueline01135 pommie29

    Posted

    Well Pommie,aren't, we feeling sorry for ourselves!!!!!! First thing to askis, Did you

    leave the country on a whim, or did you have a solid plan. If it's yeh first one, that's 

    O.K. I'm a feet first, brain later. Nothing wrong with that, but I feel that you were

    expecing the table to be laid and dinner cooked. I moved out for 15 years by myself  The thing is you haven't made any effort to move your life on. Start by

    (( too late now if you are returning)) I did what I enjoyed doing most, and met like minded people I talked to everything that moved  patted all the dogs I met, best way of making friends You didn't mention anything about work' so as you said you were moving around you don't work 

    Do you think everything is going to be rosy on your return,  or are you just going to rejoin  your unhappy family?

    Stay where you are  and make an effort,and put a smile on your face it's amazing how people redpond to smiles

     Depression is not terminal !!!!!! but you have to help yourself to get rid of it

    Doctors and pills are not  the answer you are            

     

    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 jacqueline01135

      Posted

      Good questions. Never a good idea to follow an impulse or just listen to one's heart when it is a big decision.
  • jaysun34271
    jaysun34271 pommie29

    Posted

    Hellow Pommie,

    I know EXACTLY where youre coming from...

    I have been in australia for 1 1/2, and not for the first time either. I made the very stupid decision of coming back over here to have a life with my australian gf. No job, hardly any funds, just a credit card and a flight which has since expired meaning I can no longer even afford the flight home!!! I am completely stuck here, my current job pays very little and I'm super depressed. I hate going outside and I especially hate not having any real mates. I cannot afford to see the doctor either as I am so broke. I'm homesick every day and I have dreams where im back at home and then I wake up and my heart just sinks. I dread even trying to face the day and have become a recluse. I also have panic attacks when im out and ive taken to drinking to ease the stress which in turn is having a negative impact on my health not to mention state of mind. None of my relatives are in a position to help me out as they already have, I cant get a credit card and every pay check is swollowed up within the week and at this rate It will take me 2 years to save up enuf for a flight home.

    But thats not even the half of it...there are things I cant speak about here becuase I fear it would jeapordize my visa status. Not that im here illegaly, just that it could have reprocussions. The anxiety i feel right now is tantamount totorture and whats worse is that I have no-one to speak to about any of it because of what they might think.

    So tell me, have you managed to move back to the UK at this point? And how is it being back over there? The only things thats keeping me going right now is the thought of being back at home with people who I love and can relate to and actually have a conversation without feeling like im being judged.

    Moving away to another country is a massive step and I realize that now. Its not all pina coladas by the beach, its a long hard slog which most people either dont bother persuing or have a great deal of motivation to make it work. Or in my case, neither. rolleyes.

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