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Not really looking for a solution here, but needed to get my feelings if despondency out somewhere ??
I am 35 and have been depressed and anxious on and off for over 2 decades.
I am currently seeing a counselor who specialises in CBT and working with children who've experienced trauma and mental health. After a few sessions, we together established that CBT is not right for me right now. The homework and processes are too much work for me practically and emotionally. It is feeding into my core beliefs that I am useless and 'should've' been able to deal with this by now. Also because CBT focusses on a current problem and how to change your thinking and behaviour, and through our conversations, she has realised I need help with my childhood trauma, as it has instilled certain thought processes in me (about myself) that are currently preventing me living a healthy, happy life.
Psychodynamic therapy would be right for me.
I asked my psychiatrist about the chance of this, as ive already been on a CBT waiting list for 27 months, she said it's not possible as I'm not "far enough into the secondary care system". I.e. haven't been hospitalised, not I'll enough!
I am so hurt by this and feel even more helpless and hopeless. I am doing everything in my power to kick this illness to the kerb (if not for me, for my kids and husband), but how am I supposed to get better if I cannot deal with what happened in my childhood????
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