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Feeling dirty after almost a year with genital herpes

Posted , 5 users are following.

Fleur21
Fleur21

i am 25 years old and I contracted herpes from my now ex boyfriend. I think he knew he had herpes but did not tell me. I can remember the day I contracted it from him too. He was laying on our bed with no clothes on but he was covering his genitals. Every time I would try and move his hand he would resist which seemed kind of odd to me since we had a very active sex life. I asked was he okay and he told me he had nothing to hide. He had sex with me that very night. Looking back I remember feeling one very smaaall bump on his penis, but I always assumed herpes looked completely different. A week later I ended up in the hospital with a swollen throat, stiff neck and a high fever. My doc swabed my pus filled throat and diagnosed me with strept throat. It wasn't until I got home and took a bath that I noticed my first wart. Months later I gained the courage to confront him about it and he very nonchalantly denied all of it. He told me I got it from someone else (even though he had been my only partner). I feel stupid for being with someone who didnt even care enough to take my health into consideration. He cheated on me multiple times, and though this may sound shady, I can't help but wonder why me and not those other women. My loyalty was rewarded with a disease I will carry for the remainder of my life.

Now I'm completely insecure about myself. I don't want to date anymore because I don't want to have to deal with telling another soul what he's done to me. My sex drive has completely diminished as I feel filthy(not even interested in having sex with myself really). I get outbreaks once a month and every month I'm reminded of him. I am not on any regulatory meds because I've never been clinically diagnosed. Every time I get a docs appt., they clear up before I can get to my gyno. Is there anything I can do to slow down my outbreaks? I've been using baking soda on my spots to dry them out. Anything will help at this point

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • bree36367
    bree36367 Fleur21

    Posted

    If you have had it for a year. Next time request a blood test to test for them. Tell the doctor that you have it and ask for medication. I am pretty sure they will believe you without seeing it.

    Don't feel dirty. It's an unpleasant thing to have but, I bet if you accept it, become okay with it. Ignore the outbreak they will slow down. The emotional distress is probably making them worse.

    • Fleur21
      Fleur21 bree36367

      Posted

      Thanks Bree when I went to the doc I requested a blood test but he told me that even if the blood test came back positive, it still could mean I've only been exposed to the virus. I will schedule an apt with another physician and see if I can get meds. I've seen a lot of people on here say that they don't like using the meds (they think it makes outbreaks reoccur more frequently) have you had this same experience?
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Fleur21

      Posted

      Your doc is stupid.... That is not true. That is why yiu request an IGG test for both HSV 1 and 2. Ask to see a gyno, GPs are absolutely retarded and worthless in regards to STDs and what the tests mean. They should be ashamed of themselves. They're a huge reason that STDs are such an epidemic.
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Fleur21

      Posted

      I continued to breakout while on meds during my period and if I went out drinking a lot till the wee hrs. What some people say happens, is they get constant prodrome symptoms while on it. I have been someone who has nerve sensations every single day since getting this and being on meds. I quit my meds for two months and the prodrome virtually stopped. Then I started then again, until I get through clearing up fissures and this time, my prodrome didn't continue like it did when I was on them. Now I have about one or two sensations a day the last two months, vs 20 or more. You won't know, until you are on it. I will say that not being on the meds, I've not broken out on my external bits, but did and always do even on meds on my third day of my cycle, one sore inside
  • livingtestimony
    livingtestimony Fleur21

    Posted

    I been feeling dirty for years im 20. Years old now i contracted it wen i was 16 i was so young i didnt know if i had a outbreak or not now that i think of it and i DONt even know who gave this to me i mean i think i know but its just like why bother now i have to move forward with my life we can't keep beating ourselves up because we have herpes even though this is so hard to deal with i still try to remain humble No STRESSING THAT BRINGS OUTBREAKS AND I TRY TO TELL MYSELF IM NOT DIRTY EVEN WHEN I FEEL LIKE IAM I HOPE YOU FIND PEACE YOUR WELCOME TO TALK TO ME I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS
  • Lakerkate
    Lakerkate Fleur21

    Posted

    Wow. First off, I just want to let you know how courageous you are for confronting him. The fact that he had sex during an outbreak is appauling; he is in awful person and you are way better than that! As for dating, try not to let one prick ruin it. There are good men out there and even dating sites for people with herpes.

    Definitly get one a daily medication. And make sure to not itch or touch the sores during outbreaks unless applying a cream. It can irritate the sores and can make them spread more.

    Does breaking a leg or having the flu define you as a person? Of course not! So why does herpes? The best thing you can do is realize you are still the same great person you were before you had herpes. You are not dirty; you are wonderful. Try to be positive! Mental health has a huge impact on your physical health! I hope your outbreaks dwindle down. 

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