Feeling dirty after almost a year with genital herpes
Posted , 5 users are following.
i am 25 years old and I contracted herpes from my now ex boyfriend. I think he knew he had herpes but did not tell me. I can remember the day I contracted it from him too. He was laying on our bed with no clothes on but he was covering his genitals. Every time I would try and move his hand he would resist which seemed kind of odd to me since we had a very active sex life. I asked was he okay and he told me he had nothing to hide. He had sex with me that very night. Looking back I remember feeling one very smaaall bump on his penis, but I always assumed herpes looked completely different. A week later I ended up in the hospital with a swollen throat, stiff neck and a high fever. My doc swabed my pus filled throat and diagnosed me with strept throat. It wasn't until I got home and took a bath that I noticed my first wart. Months later I gained the courage to confront him about it and he very nonchalantly denied all of it. He told me I got it from someone else (even though he had been my only partner). I feel stupid for being with someone who didnt even care enough to take my health into consideration. He cheated on me multiple times, and though this may sound shady, I can't help but wonder why me and not those other women. My loyalty was rewarded with a disease I will carry for the remainder of my life.
Now I'm completely insecure about myself. I don't want to date anymore because I don't want to have to deal with telling another soul what he's done to me. My sex drive has completely diminished as I feel filthy(not even interested in having sex with myself really). I get outbreaks once a month and every month I'm reminded of him. I am not on any regulatory meds because I've never been clinically diagnosed. Every time I get a docs appt., they clear up before I can get to my gyno. Is there anything I can do to slow down my outbreaks? I've been using baking soda on my spots to dry them out. Anything will help at this point
0 likes, 6 replies
bree36367 Fleur21
Posted
Don't feel dirty. It's an unpleasant thing to have but, I bet if you accept it, become okay with it. Ignore the outbreak they will slow down. The emotional distress is probably making them worse.
Fleur21 bree36367
Posted
feelbroken Fleur21
Posted
feelbroken Fleur21
Posted
livingtestimony Fleur21
Posted
Lakerkate Fleur21
Posted
Definitly get one a daily medication. And make sure to not itch or touch the sores during outbreaks unless applying a cream. It can irritate the sores and can make them spread more.
Does breaking a leg or having the flu define you as a person? Of course not! So why does herpes? The best thing you can do is realize you are still the same great person you were before you had herpes. You are not dirty; you are wonderful. Try to be positive! Mental health has a huge impact on your physical health! I hope your outbreaks dwindle down.