Feeling Emotionally Numb

Posted , 14 users are following.

I am still struggling with the depression and emotional numbness of perimenopause. I just don't want to be around other people. I feel like crawling under a rock and coming out when it is all over. 

I can start to feel better, normal even, and then I just come crashing down, only to start the whole cycle over again. Each time, I hope that it is the last time. This has been going on for ten months, and it is so difficult to bear, even though I recognize that I must accept my situation, do the best that I can, and wait for it to be over.

It's just so hard to feel like an emotional zombie. I don't ever make plans right now, as I never know how I am going to feel from moment to moment. I can feel normal, then euphoric, then filled with dread, then deeply depressed, sometimes in the span of hours.

I know that it is time that will fix this, but it is so difficult to stay patient, continue on, and keep hope going.

I would love to hear from other women on the forum who are going through a similar experience.

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  • Posted

    Yes the emotional roller coaster is hard to bare at times, and like you say it the never knowing how you are going to feel from one moment to the next. You know what they say.. *four seasons in one day* well its like that with emotions and can be in one hour rolleyes  Some days i love my husband, others i want to beat him with a shovel then bury him under the patio with it :P

    Im just going into year 3 of this level of crazy.. i have to say though its not as bad as it was this time last year.. i was a total basket case, couldn't stand to be around anyone, paranoia panic.. sudden low moods fits of crying.  It was rough. Its still all there but just not as bad, and know i see it for what it is .. im more in control of it rather than it of me.. so hang in there IT DOES GET BETTER!!! there was a time i couldn't ever see myself being ok again.. but im getting there . Its much slower than i would like but im grateful for the times i do feel ok enough to take part in living again smile

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  • Posted

    You aren’t alone.. been going through similar emotions!! 
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  • Posted

    yeah Bev,

    that's just how I'm feeling today...like an emotional zombie...I work with a lot of people and didn't have much trouble interacting with them today but when I got home, I feet "numb" - like what's the point to this spinning rock in outerspace?  I have had "lows" throughout my life but have been experiencing more of the emotional rollercoaster throughout perimenopause....I'm in year 6 of it...at least my insomnia isn't as frequent...my periods are becoming less frequent too.  I can relate to being an emotional zombie at times - I'm feeling "uncomfortably numb" - not quite how the Pink Floyd song went smile  I hate when I feel like this...I feel detached from the world.  Even from myself for that matter.

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    • Posted

      I agree, it's so weird to not only feel detached from others and have no interest in socializing, but to also feel alien to yourself; it's scary. The one thing I realize is that no matter how odd and disturbed my experience, I always revert back to feeling well and normal. I am just looking forward to the days when feeling well becomes my normal.

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  • Posted

    Hi bev, yes I feel exactly the same...don't you feel like your serving a jail sentence and just waiting to be released... Pathetic all of this.. Well your definitely not alone I know I'm right there with you, stay strong it will all end one of these days, ?

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    • Posted

      Interesting that you used this analogy, as I just used it with a close, male friend of mine today, who has been a massive support through this nightmare. I said that I feel that I have been incarcerated, and I am just waiting to be released. The hard part is not knowing my release date. I now have a monthly calendar on my fridge, and I cross off each day; it is a good visual that time is passing, as time will ultimately heal me. It's tough, though.

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  • Posted

    Hi...I am the same as you. 2 days ago to a degree I wished something would just hit me and just get it over with, now today I'm happy go lucky and social. I can't make specific plans as I never know what mood I'll be in....now I just go with the flow and do things spir of the moment or do nothing. Sone days I have to force myself to pretend to act like I care other days I actually do care, sometimes everyone and everything gets on my nerves, some days I really like being around other people. I am in my 6th year of this peri roller coaster ride so I've learned to deal with it much better than the first few years, I feel better"ish" than even a year ago or its just I can explain it better to myself and know I'll snap out if the low mood at any moment.

    Unfortunately for all of us....it's normal....I learned to just yell at myself in my head that it's just hormones at it will pass.

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    • Posted

      I think that I am developing better tools, as well, but still there are some days that I just feel like giving up, as it's so hard, but then my mood changes, and I feel well, and then I am so relieved that I am still here on this planet!

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  • Posted

    Sending you lots of LOVE Bev. You are not alone. I am the same... keep reminding myself one day it will be over. Take care
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    • Posted

      Thanks! I appreciate that very much. This forum has really helped to keep me going. I have an incredible support system, but no one except the women on this forum who are living this day after day can truly understand the depth and breadth of this experience!
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