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Just wondering if any other women dealing with anxiety and depression in perimenopause end up cancelling commitments because they just don't feel well enough to follow through.
I just let me boyfriend know that I won't be able to go with him and his cycling club on a four day cycling trip because I just can't predict how I am going to feel from one moment to the next. I am finding it excruciating to live like this.
Yesterday, I had a lovely day where I felt calm, confident, and happy. Today, I am feeling down, hopeless, guilty, and frustrated. I know that I am doing the absolute best that I can with incredibly challenging circumstances, but I still feel like I am disappointing people around me.
My boyfriend is incredibly supportive, and has told me that he will stand by my side no matter what, but I do know that it is so hard for him to truly conceive what is going on with me psychologically. I can barely conceive it myself!
When I feel down, everything seems bleak. At these times, I doubt everything, seem to gang up on myself, and am filled with negative thinking. Then, without doing anything, the depression can just lift, and I then feel optimistic, excited, and in control of my life.
All of these symptoms started for me about eight months ago. I have had crying and screaming jags (thankfully usually when I am alone), feelings of deep depression, anxiety, an inability to cope, and horrible, scary thoughts.
It's just so difficult not to be able to control my emotions. I am focusing on staying present, accepting that this is hormones, and reassuring myself that this is a temporary phase.
I just feel like I have lost myself, and I feel scared.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
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