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Feeling helpless........

Posted , 4 users are following.

sacha70298
sacha70298

Hey.....I was wanting to get some opinions on taking citalopram. How has it benifted anyone in what ways?

i suffer with really bad mood swings( scream and shout a lot) and get really angry over stupid things like not being able to find a dish cloth!!!! Like seriously!

ive been known to say vile things and even punch my boyfriend in a fit of rage- this is when I realised I'm a living nightmare and need to seek help before things get out of hand! I never really thought I was depressed but just suffer with extreme anxiety which I've had for over 10 years....I just manage it better! Maybe thinking actually maybe this is what is going on. I'm usually a loving girlfriend and will do anything for anyone but now I can't stand even anyone having a opinion that I don't like. I have strange thoughts to when I'm angry like ramming my car in to oncoming traffic (angry or not) it's really bizarre. This causes me extreme anxiety of course because I never want to hurt anyone and have to pull over crying and screaming because I fear I'm turning into a f**king nutter! 

Does anyone else experience this or have done? Will this medication help? Is it worth feeling so bad? Xx

3 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • ness05694
    ness05694 sacha70298

    Posted

    I was similar to you with big mood swings, rage and anger.  Lose it over really trivial stuff.  It was more anxiety for me than depression too.  

    I was making my husbands and my daughters life hell.  I'd been on and off antidepressants for about 10 years. 

    My biggest fear was hurting my daughter. I used to imagine all kinds of horrific scenarios.. My GP put me on mirtazipine, which was really bad for me.  Then I was put on citalopram and told that I need to stay on long term. I took it for 5 years and have only came off it 5 weeks ago.  

    I didn't like the side effects but for a long time the benefits of being on it far, far outweighed the mild side effects.. I could live with them.  

    I was the best thing for me and especially my daughter.  I still have a temper and will yell, but I don't have rages.  I am dealing with a 10 year old who'd try the patience of a saint, after all! 

    My circumstances have changed, I'm much better, I can deal with my daughter better now she's older, I don't have the awful anger/guilt cycles which nearly paralysed me. The side effects niggled me so I cut down over 9 months and stopped 5 wks ago. 

    Citalopram was the best thing for me when I needed it.  It takes time to start working, expect about 6-8 weeks, a lot of side effects ease off after couple months.  Coming off hard work, withdrawal from it can be nasty.  Again about 6 wks.... But try it.  It's not worth damaging your relationships with the people you love.  It really worked for me. 

    Best of luck. Xx

    • sacha70298
      sacha70298 ness05694

      Posted

      yes that it just what happens to me I just think really horrible thoughts etc.

      its really hard to deal with because I know I won't act on them but they are taking over my life! I avoid situations like train station because I imagine jumping infrint of a train, I can't use knifes because I'm scared I'm going to do something with it and the more I explain to my partner the more he seems to be scared! can't blame the guy I am too. Lol

      he said he has noticed a change in my moods and said he feels I'm struggling etc so I know it's harsh on him.

      This is my last resort and I will give it a go lucky he is working away for a week so I can actually try and get myself together. Hit a very low point.

      i understand what your saying about scared of hurting your daughter, for anyone who hasn't experienced this properly won't understand but it's more of a fear isn't it. You have a crazy thought then your mind obsesses on it. Mental health ay? Non visible disease that just ruins life's! Xx

    • sacha70298
      sacha70298 ness05694

      Posted

      Glad you have managed to get off them and are in a better place x
    • ness05694
      ness05694 sacha70298

      Posted

      Ironically my better place is my marriage ending!  Have to change everything in my life, need to find a well paid full time job so I can support myself and my daughter. Only part time at mo.

      its weird but I feel positive because I now have to do it myself. I'm no longer drifting. I'm feel that I am steering my own destiny now.  So it's making me feel good. It may all go  horribly wrong and if I can't cope then I'll prob do cit again. But until then....

      It's so scary, the bad thoughts.  I tend to get very paranoid and think I've upset everyone all the time.  At the moment I'm spooking myself at night imagining scary things, like a kid again! I think that may be part of the withdrawal... But it's really difficult to get out of the cycle once you're in it. 

      You know you won't act on it, but you get almost obsessive and it's very upsetting.  Have you looked into CBT? It's supposed to be very good at breaking those kind of train of thoughts.

      hope you get more settled. I find it helps when you acknowledge that it's an illness and you're aware the thoughts aren't normal for you.  It'll help you break the cycle.  I really hope the cit works for you. It definitely helps with those kind of things.  And I hope the side effects are manageable..

      With any luck you'll be there in a couple months time looking back and thinking how crazy the thoughts were! Fingers crossed for you! Ness xx

  • Felis
    Felis sacha70298

    Posted

    Hi Sacha 

    i am taking Citalopram for the second time in my life. the first time was for anxiety and depression. I had very little side effects the first time and in 6-8 weeks felt like a new person.After 2 years weaned myself off it very slowly and had no side effects and felt amazing .No anxiety for 8 years and then had a difficult year getting my son through his final year at school and then two days before Christmas 2011 my Mother died. I was stunned! Then the depression came back and totally unexpectedly the anxiety and panic attacks. About a year ago I went back on citalopram and the adjustment was awful if anything the anxiety was worse! I found this forum and people like Pam and

  • Felis
    Felis sacha70298

    Posted

    Somehow my message was cut off! 

    People like Pam and sleepy crow really helped me on this forum and gradually I started to feel better but took 6-8 weeks.

    Now I feel great enjoying life and no intentions of coming off it as it's been a life saver.

    Having said this its not for everyone but if you do take it give it time and ride the storm. I used to wake up in a panic and get on to the forum at 3 am and talk to someone there will always be someone to help

    take carex

  • nikki-yvonne
    nikki-yvonne sacha70298

    Posted

    Hi This is how i am feeling at the moment ,i get so mad with my husband for silly things but cannot help it  , Now i just try to have a bit of me time lay on my bed for 10/15 Minutes and take nice deep breaths - But i think my medical is playing havok with me at the moment as i am all over the place and wish it would stop . Hope you get it sorted hun - as we just do not have any control over these things .
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