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Hi guys, I am feeling hurt because of my own family. I had my grand children today, 3 1/2 and 14 months old. I took them to the park and then to the next town on the bus. It is not easy as i have walking difficulties but i enjoy the children. I got back to theirs and needed a coffee so sat down for 10 minutes, realised the time and went to get the tea as their mum was due back from work. My daughter got back and started shouting at me as i hadn't done their tea, it was not going to take long as it was going to be done in the microwave. We had a lovely time and sat by a small waterfall in town and had snacks and juice, the kids were not crying with hunger. My granddaughter was upset because mummy was shouting and saying nasty things to me. I feel unappreciated and used as i am there for my family. My other daughter didn't speak to me for 21/2 months, her and her partner threw me out of their house for no reason, my daughter said nasty things to me when her partner was upstairs so he didn't hear what she was saying and my daughter said untruths to him, he threw my shoes at me and said i was not welcome again. Then i found out they had moved house 1 month after she moved. I have not been invited there thou i know her sister and friends have been there. I came home tonight and cryed because i feel hurt that i am treated this way. I don't ask for nothing, thou it would be nice if either of them offered to take me shopping occassionally as i struggle. Through counselling over the years it was explained to me that because my father shouted a lot, said nasty things, even said he hoped i would die on a plane. He said i would be no good at anything, said nobody would ever love me, called me and my siblings b.......s and imbeciles, should never have been born and that he wanted to cripple me. I have had problems with septic arthritis since aged 11 and he used to kick me in that knee saying i will cripple you and so on.... so when i am shouted at or critised, and nasty things said to me by my family i go back to the little girl afraid of my father and feeling helpless, and the hurt is overwhelming. It's like they know how to hurt me and it reignites my feelings from my childhood. I feel like hurting myself thou i don't act on it. I feel unloved and like i am being punished for something thou don't know what. I do my best as a mother and grandmother. I rarely post here as i like to help and encourage others here, but today i feel like i need to express my pain. Here is a quote a friend sent me : The circumstances of your motherhood may be difficult, troublesome and confusing. Even so, there is a circumstance that superceded all the complexities of your life. It is the simple truth that the one great, permanent circumstance in which you live is that you have been allowed to walk in newness of life as you are united to christ by faith through grace. Our joy cannot be wrapped up in motherhood but only in God'. I am a christian which is why this quote was sent to me from a christian friend.
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