Feeling More Desperate

Posted , 4 users are following.

Hi, I have posted before about my recent drinking binge which started in November 2017 with 10 pints of lager a night, due to my mother being diagnosed with cancer, she passed away in February and I have not been able to stop, for more than a day or two in 5 months now I am really concerned about the damage I have caused to my liver. I had a fibroscan done at the end of October 2018 which was 3.9 Kpa, I am frightened enough now that I've booked an appointment with my G.P for next week and also booked an appointment with a grief and addiction councillor, I also have tapered down this week from 10 pints a night to 6 pints. I am very concerned that I have caused cirrhosis or irreparable damage to my liver over this period, I also feel pain in my back. Could this binge have caused me cirrhosis? I am now so afraid and ready to stop but fear it's too late and am afraid of withdrawals. Could I have developed cirrhosis in this time any help would be appreciated. I have posted about this a few months ago but have stupidly continued.

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Going from a 3.9 KpA to cirrhosis in only 6 months would probably be some kind of record, but you're right to be worried you may be pushing your luck.  When it comes to alcoholic liver disease, there really is no use sweating water under the bridge.  Look to your future, & think of where you want to be 10 years from now.  

    Keep working on your taper and this will buy you some time.  If you can get down to 3 or 4 pints/day over the next month, you'll be out of the dangerous red zone of extremely heavy drinking.  If you need help making the jump to zero, your GP may be able to prescribe some recovery meds, but if you continue to swim in the deep end of the pool, you may need an inpatient detox.  

    Keep pushing the start time for your evening tipple back an hour per week, & NO drinking during the day.  You may well be able to quit on your own if you can stick to this without a relapse binge.  

    Hope you get to a point where you are controlling alcohol and not the other way 'round soon!  

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  • Posted

    Mark I am 99% sure you have not got cirrhosis, which is unlikely unless you have been drinking substantially for more than 15 years. If you posted a few months ago, you must at that time only been drinking heavily for about 2 months. In fact I am very confused because you say you had a fibroscan done in October 2018 which date we have not got to yet. If it was done October 2017 then it was before you started drinking heavily which makes cirrhosis even less likely.  The pain in  your back depending on whereabouts in the back it is it is might indicate some liver disease other than cirrhosis but you really need to see your GP and discuss this situation with him or her.
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  • Posted

    Thanks for the kind replies guys, yes I meant I had the fibroscan October 2017.  I am currently tapering after 5 months heavy drinking.  I did drink quite a bit in my 20s and 30s, I am now 50 hence the reason I had a fibroscan done.  Thanks again guys.
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  • Posted

    When I read stuff like this it makes me angry. How can you use your mother's illness as an excuse for hurting yourself. Get real Mark. There are people out there who are dying of liver failure and you are treating your liver this way and explaining it with such a lame excuse???!!!! I know that the death of a close person is a traumatic experience but it is not a reason to try and kill yourself.

    I have recently started a blog about mu cirrhosis and how my stupidity almost killed me. Yeah, be scared Mark, be worried, as every sip of that beer that you take is causing further damage to your liver.  I managed to damage my liver quite well with such stupid behaviour, so let's say I know what you are talking about.

    My blog www.getwellsoon.pl

    If you wish to, visit it and have a read and a listen. I live with cirrhosis and although my health is not perfect I am doing my best. For your mother's sake try and do the same.

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    • Posted

      Because I am an alcoholic and that’s what alcoholics do, they use any and much less excuses to drink, believe me when my mum got sick and was told she was going to die and eventually did, drinking was the lesser of two evils as I have severe mental health issues, if I hadn’t have drank I would not be here today, yeah I know selfish and all that but I have no one else. I find your holier than thou attitude to be very strange indeed coming from someone who did the same as me and probably for longer.  And I find that most people especially the addicted don’t respond well to it, in fact I read an article the other day where this additude can fuel the addicted.  Maybe you also need to get real as many people commit suicide over traumatic events (I know two by the way), who if they took the path of the lesser of two evils may have been able to find help.  I appreciated your point of view but my mother understood my condition and I wish you well.

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    • Posted

      Please do not mistake my attitude for being holly. Far from. It's an attitude of a person who has been through a lot of s**t and has come through and knows that feeling sorry for yourself and excuses lead to nothing more than a miserable life, Mark. I guess we all have to learn by our own mistakes. I hope you will be strong enough to get over your issues and love yourself enough to become "holly" as you put it, like me. I can tell you this much: once you get over that nasty period of coming off and once you let the pain hit you when you are sober and sort it out it only gets better. It takes time, plenty of effort and more time but it's worth it. The choice is yours. Can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink - as they say. Wishing you all the best.

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    • Posted

      Sorry if I sounded nasty, I did not mean to and I genuinely thank you for your concern and kind reply, no one feels more guilty than me for my mistakes, I will always regret them.  I am now genuinely trying to quit for good and I hope to find the clarity and strength that you did.  Again I apologise for my previous reply and wish you all the best for the future.  Thanks again, it is much appreciated.
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    • Posted

      Mark, there is no need to apologise to me, you have done nothing wrong. You are a good person who has strayed a little. Us sensitive souls do that smile It's time to be stong though. We all love you, the world loves you and needs you, so please try for us to heal yourself. Sobriety is actually pretty cool once you settle into it smile Oh all those emotions and senses that were numb for so long awaken and it is really a nice feeling (though scary at first biggrin. So be strong, get better and do not fret it takes a lot more to get me upset than you could imagine. Big hugs and fingers crossed. Cheers mate. 

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for your kind post and words of encouragement, they really mean a lot to me at this time.  I am really determined to shake this monkey off my back once and for all and long for sobriety. You kind words and thoughts have really helped me to gain some focus and perspective and that means so much to me. Thank you again for your kindness.  Best wishes biggrin
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