Feeling Overwhelmed With Depression
Posted , 9 users are following.
Hi, I’m an 18 y/o girl, college student. I know this is long but I need somebody to please read.
For various reasons I’ve fallen into depression since starting college (not because of separation of family or friends or anything).
I thought at first that the reason I’m depressed was clear. I’ve tried to combat those reasons but I’m finding that it isn’t helping. (ex. One smaller reason was that I didn’t feel worthy or like I was doing things right because I wasn’t making the good/best friends that I saw other people making. However, when surrounding myself with friends and interacting with them, I just get this sort of weird feeling and want to leave the room and be by myself).
Now, I’m just starting to find myself being overwhelmed and upset all the time. I have a few smaller classes of 20 or 30 kids so I can’t just sink into the backround or skip class when attendance is counted if I want to keep my GPA and my scholarship. There’s so much going on and so much i have to do with school, but for some reason I just keep checking out and dropping the things that need to get done for another day. (Ex. I’m skipping a class right now that has around 80 kids and my professor won’t notice)
I just feel so overwhelmed all the time about everything and find myself crying pretty much everyday. And sometimes I don’t even know why.
This is the first time I’ve experienced these kinds of feelings. I’m an A student. I go to a prestigious school on almost a full ride scholarship. I can’t take a semester off. I can’t delay my schooling and I can’t tell anyone or go to counseling. I am who I am because I excel in school and because I’m on the right track. Everyone knows me as that type of person who has her entire life put so seamlessly together, even my family and friends.
Plus, my family doesn’t believe in depression anyway. They think that people who are depressed just want attention. There is no convincing them otherwise. So I would never tell them how I feel.
I ordered 5 htp and tried taking it. I don’t really know if it helps. Maybe to a certain extent. But I definitely don’t feel a huge difference. I ordered B-complex vitamins and St. Johns Wort as well. I also ordered melatonin because a lot of the time when I feel overwhelmed I just want to sleep and I can’t. I haven’t gotten them yet. (I live in dorms about 6.5 hours away from home so my parents don’t know I ordered anything).
The thought of having to get out of bed and do daily activities is daunting. But I have to. I’m graded on attendance and participation in my classes. And I need to be active and involved on campus to build my resume.
I guess the bottom line is that I need help on how I stop feeling so overwhelmed and unmotivated.
Please help me, thanks.
1 like, 10 replies
a01894
Posted
a01894
Posted
reha56325 a01894
Posted
Hello,
I'm also going through acute depression right now and nothing really works for me. My parents have the same issues as yours. They don't think of depression as a serious problem. They took me to a psychiatrist, got me meds, got me a job through reference and 6 months later they're like, well, it's very shameful for us that you're not out of depression yet, it's been 6 months. Like you can snap out of it just like that.
I'm really sorry I can't really help you with suggestions because nothing has really worked for me but please don't feel alone and know that these things happen to alot of people and I'm sure you'll be able to figure something out, you seem to be a lot smarter than me
Take care, I'll pray for you.
Reha
Anon123789 a01894
Posted
Hey, I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling overwhelmed and have no one you feel comfortable confiding in. Any major change in life can bring feelings of being overwhelmed or de-motivation. One thing I find that helps is to centre myself by talking through these thoughts with others. I noticed you said your family would not be supportive and you can't see a counsellor? I obviously don't know your family, but when I have confided in people I thought wouldn't be supportive they were incredible, and a little annoyed I didn't confide sooner
But if you're not able to talk to a friend or family member, go see a doctor. I'm guessing you're in the USA (some of the words you used), so I'm not really able to direct you to any service in particular, but there will be student support, phone counselling etc etc that you can tap. And reaching out doesn't mean you're weak, if anything it takes strength to get help.
In terms of advice I can give for motivation is make a list of things that sidetrack you and avoid them. Create a timetable and stick to it. Get out of bed and make your bed, do some exercise and after you're showered get into clothes that aren't bed clothes or sweatpants. Study at the Library. Find a club or friends who are motivated to study and will keep you motivated. But also schedule time for fun. There is a place for everyone at college, find yours.
Your feelings are normal.
Happy to answer anything else you're concerned about.
Adldiane a01894
Posted
Hello. I ditto what anon said! Also it is a huge adjustment to move that many hours away from home you have left everything that you are familiar to you behind: family, friends, home, your room, your things, your city, etc. in a way you could compare it to culture shock. It happened to me several years ago I moved from the south to the north and I am a traveler and I make friends easily. I got there was excited to be there and boom! I thought what the h_ _l am I doing here! Change takes time to adjust and it took time for me to adjust and I had to allow myself that time. Since you are of age if you are in the states go get some counseling it's confidential. What do you think? Diane
borderriever a01894
Posted
You need to talk to someone possibly a Councillor, you are going through an intense period in your life where people are expecting yo will knock doors ot of windows and I know from my own experience when this happens we begin to stop enjoying what we are doing and doubts start to enter our thoughts
When I was pushed to hard in education I became concerned and frightened I was going to fail, that made me hesitant and I would pull back and make errors. Several years later I was put forward to take Community and Youth Work qualifications. I was for part time work evening work and I was in full time employment so I was enjoying that course and eventually qualified for Evening Night Class and Youth Leader Position. I was told when I was acting as an instructor to enjoy the class and if I was with the kids enjoy the interaction.
We were told when doing like anything above those people sitting in front of me were there to learn, I was the expert, I was in charge of the class and they had to listen too Me.
One teacher told me to imagine the class was full of naked people and I was supplying them the clothes to learn.It also seemed to help when someone was unruly. I enjoyed the interaction and I became more confident as the years went by. I never really became frightened in class and I enjoyed the fact that people had to listen to me, Try and enjoy what you are doing, you are learning from those around you and they from you.
In my days, over forty years ago I would throw chalk, I suppose I would not get away doing that now.
Remember you are doing this for you no-one else, You would not be there if you did not want to do this type of work. Personally I now wish I had taken a different pathway when I was younger and had become a teacher instead
BOB
.
nancy76309 a01894
Posted
Being able to talk to some one can make a huge difference.
jaclyn37805 a01894
Posted
I know exactly how you feel. When I first went to college I had a very similar experience that ultimately lead to me leaving which I regret to this day. I saw everyone making friends and once they make them it seems that they keep to themselves. My suggestion is to force yourself to get out and spend time with the friends you do have. Depression will try and tell you to isolate yourself but that ends up making it a lot worse. Also ask people in your classes if they would like to study with you. Great way to meet new friends and get work done! What's the worse they will say sorry I'm busy? People are a lot friendlier than you think in your head. What helped me is that my university had a counselor on campus. something that maybe if your school offers you could go to free of charge and your parents or anyone you didn't want to know wouldn't have to. Definitely talk to someone don't put so much pressure on yourself you have gotten this far! Everyone's college experiences are different and nothing like you see on tv. Try and stay busy, positive and to put yourself out there the universe will take care of the rest! Good luck 🍀
P.s. Try and take time to do something you love when your feeling overwhelmed or just relax for an hour and listen to music always helps me!
It will get better! - Jaclyn
wayne1962 a01894
Posted
Hi a01894 - sorry to read of your situation. Can i just cherry pick for a moment?
"...and I can't tell anyone or go to counselling..." You are telling us. The first step is to acknowledge there is an issue and you have done that. The second step is to understand that mental health illnesses are as common as muck (at least 1 in 5 will experience mental illness at some stage in their life) and that living with the suffering is no longer the only option available. It is also wise to consider that depression and anxiety can be as crippling as a broken leg, and is in no less need of medical attention. Who would reject a remedy and opt to stagger around on a broken leg?
You need a responsible ear for your issues, a safe place to unpack and vent, to discover any issues that may be causing illness, face them, understand them, and recognise any triggers. See your school counsellor. Make an appointment with your doctor. You don't have to tell anyone else.
It's so sad to read that your parents are of the dismissive belief that mental health illnesses are simply people seeking attention. It is usually the stance of those who have the "I'm all right Jack - and so should you be" attitude. Perhaps they are too busy to contemplate the youth suicide rate in developed countries, the dollars and time spent by researchers seeking a cure for a complex, universal problem. Too content and comfortable to contemplate all those soldiers that come back from their violence to end up on the street, in addictions or in prison. Repeated dismissals of an invisible illness erodes the soul of the sufferer. (Can I add that my mother - a chronic depressive - had the same "snap out of it" "pull up your socks" "stop making excuses" attitude, and I am here to tell you it - further - damaged the family psyche.) Pursue answers in spite of what they say. You will be empowered.
Take it easy on yourself. You are an A student and everyone expects that is the sum of you. But it's not, you are so very much more than that. There's little pleasure in being at the top of your game when you are miserable. Meanwhile, try the remedies you have ordered, and hopefully it will provide you the relief you need. If not, you may have to consider medications, which are a short term tool used to balance the mood of the patient while work is done psychologically. Pills and potions are a band aid, however. They may mask the symptoms but not fix underlying issues - that's if there are any underlying issues connected to your current state of being.
It's the reason you should seek professional help. We are always here to talk.
Margusha a01894
Posted
You're doing well by simply writing here. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and whether you're stressed or depressed, help is available. One sad fact about depression is only one-third of the number of people suffering from depression actually seek professional treatment. I would ecrourage you to see your GP and have your blood tests done. Self-treatment isn't worth doing.