Feeling REALLY down...

Posted , 2 users are following.

My life isn't exciting, and I want it to be, however unrealistic that might be right now.

My 'friends' seem to have forgotten I exist...They go out to all kinds of things without inviting me. Petty, perhaps, to moan about this, but surely you would invite ALL your friends if you were having some big friendly meet up?

And, granted, none of them have any idea what's going on with me...I've managed to keep from them that I'm depressed (they just think that I'm moody and occasionally don't want to see anyone...they see me so little these days, it's easy to not let them know), and none know I'm on antidepressants. So why should they take care of me?

But I can't help feeling alone and abandoned, and I don't know what I've done to deserve this. What is it about me that makes people hate me so much?

Maybe I'm just the type of person who should become a hermit, so no-one ever has to suffer being around her.

I feel really bad right now. I just want to curl up and make it all go away. I've been getting worse lately. I don't know what to do.

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Frogella

    Unless you find it in you to explain your illness to them they are never going to know what's going on.

    Tell one or two of them (closest friends) They will, I'm sure feel pretty bad for not supporting you but unless they know, they can't.

    Try to stay strong.

    Love

    Melbi xxx

  • Posted

    Hi,

    Its the depression making you feel this way, it's an illness, it's affecting how you see yourself. I have been having the same feelings but they go, they come back, they go. You are feeling a bit down on yourself and feel that you don't want to be a burden on your friends. This means you don't want to tell them how you really feel, then feel a bit frustrated that they aren't taking care of you. It sounds like you are distancing yourself because you don't feel that you are worth it, but you are. You need their support, you need to be honest. Invite the person you get on with best round and tell all. You will feel so much better. Even a small act of kindness can make you feel that life is worth living.

    I decided that I should die because I am a burden, then my friend told me how much she has been missing me! You can't see it yourself right now because of your illness but you have people that care about you very much, the best thing that you can do is give them the chance to show it.

    Things will get better, just take things a step at a time. :lol:

  • Posted

    I told one of my oldest friends last night. She asked if I was free to go out with her tonight, guess she wanted to talk, but i'm ill right now with a virus so can't really leave the house. But she seemed fine about it. Asked why, I said I wish I knew. Stupid thing is, I did it by text, because I can't handle saying this to someone's face...I've managed to avoid doing that so far. I told a long-distance friend over the internet, I told my boyfriend over the phone, that was it. It's ok to not say it to their face, isn't it?

    Still feeling rotten. Still confused. But grateful for people's support on here...I wish I could return it, some days I sit on here and look at all the latest posts and my heart goes out to people on here... I just can't bring myself to say anything most of the time. I never know what to say. I used to be good at being able to say something, not anymore though. I'm sorry.

  • Posted

    Ho Frogerella

    Hey well done you! Of course it's okay to tell people by text or by anyway which is easiest for you.

    You have made a huge step telling people - be proud of yourself.

    Frogerella you help many, many people here. Only a few actually post - but thousands more will be reading. They are looking for answers, for explanations as to how or why they feel like they do.

    You, me or anyone can't say anything to cure anyone - but and this is a BIG BUT - by posting about your illness and feelings you are helping others because they can read of your experience and realise they are not alone, they are not the only person on this planet that feels this way.

    So stop beating yourself up - you are helping more people than you will ever know.

    Chin up and as Katy would say - nipples out (not literally) :roll:

    Stay strong - tomorrow is another day! And if tomorrow is no better there's always the day after!

    One step at a time!

    Melbi xxx

  • Posted

    Hi Frogerella.

    There's no right and wrong. Just do what you feel comfortable with day by day. Just try to stay in touch with people about whom you care. Whether by text, phone, e-mail whatever. Their first thought will, I am sure, be concern for you.

    Do try to be kind to yourself. One of the worst things about this illness is how self critical it makes you. Remember -you have a right to be here just the same as everyone else.

    Take care

    Best regards

  • Posted

    Stiltman, thats so well put, but I have a huge problem, I cant talk to my friennnds anymor, they try to feed me.

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