1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Depression

Feeling so fed up

Posted , 5 users are following.

amberstar33
amberstar33

I am feeling so low at the moment. I am crying every day. I struggle to function. The thought of having a shower is too much this morning. I have a counselling appointment in an hour or so. I am pretty sure I can make it to that. Then I think I will just come home and hide away. I have been managing to go to work every day. I seem to be ok when I have something that I need to do. Logically I know that doing things will help to improve my mood but it is like someone is sitting on me stopping me from moving and I just sit in bed. I have one good friend who has been supporting me which I am so grateful for. 

I started with a really anxious period in July, just before starting a new job , then I ended a short term fling I had been having. I am plagued with constant memories of that fling. It really getting me down. 

I am sooooooooooo sick of everything. I feel so low and so alone. I cant even describe how I am feeling as it sounds so silly and little when I say it out loud but in my head it feels like it is eating away at me and slowly killing me. 

0 likes, 18 replies

18 Replies

  • jason31256
    jason31256 amberstar33

    Posted

    What you're feeling isnt little it is unique to you so dont think it is any less than anyone else's now the fling you ended could that possibly have meant more to you than you realise and that is why thinking about it is eating away at you try and realise how you feel about everything and go from there get your friend to be a motivation partner if possible get you to do things each week and then see how you feel after I would also go see your gp and see if there is anything else out there tgat could possibly help you 
    • amberstar33
      amberstar33 jason31256

      Posted

      Hi Jason 

      Thank you for your reply. 

      I saw the doc a good few times back in august when I was first feeling crappy. He prescribed me escitoplam as I have successfully taken it in the past. This time I just couldn't handle the side effects - massive headache and feeling spaced out. I tried them again this week to see if it was different but no luck. I also have sertaline but I'm too worried to try them now. 

      I describe it as a fling but it was four months of texting everyday and seeing each other once of twice a week and three days away so I supposed it is more than a fling. He didn't want a relationship and I wanted more. He held the cards in it all and I just knew it wasn't fair on me to carry it on. I do miss him and I seem to be missing him more with passing time. I think I feel guilty when I have thoughts of things we did together and things reminded me of him. I feel like I will never move on - some great castrostrophic thinking from me! 

      I'm just back from my counselling and it was a good session. He challenged me to think about what I would say to myself looking from the outside. I think resting is what I need today. My head hurts and I just feel sad. I had a day out with my family yesterday which involved lots of driving. 

    • jason31256
      jason31256 amberstar33

      Posted

      It may sound strange but I have been through something similar this year ibhad my heart broken and it brought up more stuff which made me depressed more to it than that but i am getting better I am on sertraline and yeah I had some side effects but I kept telling myself it was the medication I am also seeing a counsellor if you ever just want to talk about it please feel free to pm me 

      take care x

    • amberstar33
      amberstar33 jason31256

      Posted

      Do you work? I'm so worried about the side effects of meds having an impact on me going to work. I do suffer from anxiety and being away from home can cause me anxiety at times and I'm worried that this will happen if I take meds. So many thoughts and worries!!!!! 
    • jason31256
      jason31256 amberstar33

      Posted

      Yeah I am currently on the sick I got a lot of anxiety off sertraline but it has eased I do suffer with it anyway so kinda knew how to handle it just kept saying its my medication and I got through it I am sure you will to
  • julie1111
    julie1111 amberstar33

    Posted

    hi sorry to hear your feeling this way! this isnt you talking its the depression once you realise you have depression and find the tools to beat this you will be on your way to recovery! have a look at a video youtube called the black dog! its will explain more to you. julie
  • bryan91285
    bryan91285 amberstar33

    Posted

    Hi Amber, I can relate to exactly how you feel and I feel that most days. My wife and a friend of mine also with depression have been helping me a lot and it is hard. I feel "what's the point" to everything and although it's very hard for me I despartely hold on to the fact that tomorrow or an hour from now maybe better. I've received a lot of support via this site which is helped too. It is something that can be worked through. Hold onto to your support group, go out and do any ing with your friend to help take your mind off things, even a short reprieve is worth it. We are all here for you.
    • amberstar33
      amberstar33 bryan91285

      Posted

      Thank you Bryan. It is reassuring to know that other people know what I'm going through - not that I would wish this upon anyone. 

      The hardest part is I feel like I'm getting worse, not better. I cry so much. I keep trying to make sense of it all and I know that isn't helping. 

      I have things planned for tomorrow and I'm already dreading it!!! I wish I could just look forward to things again. 

    • bryan91285
      bryan91285 amberstar33

      Posted

      My pleasure Amber, it sounds like we have a lot in common. Just about every day I feel like I'm getting worse, stuff happens at work and I think I'm to blame. Please try not to dread your plans tomorrow, it's important to have outtings as it should help get your mind hopefully off things. Sometimes when I go out it helps, I forget for awhile. Just focus on tomorrow and to try and have fun.
    • amberstar33
      amberstar33 bryan91285

      Posted

      I wish something would help me forget. When I'm out I get anxious and with the anxiety comes too many thoughts :-( 

      I do know it will get better in time and I have to just keep on trying for now.... 

    • bryan91285
      bryan91285 amberstar33

      Posted

      That's all you can do. Something my wife tells me a lot to do is take deep breaths when I start to feel the anxiety, tell your friend when your out what some of your triggers might be and maybe they can help or do something to quickly take your mind off things. Just keep trying, everyone says it gets better (I'm still waiting for it to happen by the way)
  • david11111
    david11111 amberstar33

    Posted

    After a "Fling" has broken up for any reason it can have really huge impact on you.

    It is a tough place to be but time is a good healer smile

    Keep strong.....

    David

    • amberstar33
      amberstar33 david11111

      Posted

      Thanks David! I thought three months would be enough time to heal but it isn't the case. I guess you just can't put a number on how long healing takes. 
    • david11111
      david11111 amberstar33

      Posted

      Three months is still very early days...... 

      It will get better over time though

    • amberstar33
      amberstar33 david11111

      Posted

      I only knew him four months... So three months seems like a long time.... 
    • david11111
      david11111 amberstar33

      Posted

      Yes i see your point...... 

      Three months is a long time..... its a case of filling in those empty times... 

      Do random things that you never ever though of.If nothing else,it is a distraction even for a short period

    • jason31256
      jason31256 amberstar33

      Posted

      Dont worry about time that is irrelevant at matter of the heart I only knew someone for 3 months yet here I am strange but 1 hour 10 years whatever your heart wants it wants and there is no time limit on how we all heal so those who say gets better in time aren't over it yet even if they believe it themselves 
Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.