Feeling suicidal

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For the past few days ive been obsessing about this. I think its just thoughts at the moment n dont think id follow through with it but i do have it all planned in my head.

ive been suffering on n off with depression for yrs this current episode started in june n am finding even with medication things are getting worse im self harming n just feel im in self destruct mode

i am working closely with my gp and health visitor as i have 2 children under 3.5..

i was going to tell my health visitor today about the suicidal thoughts but am scared what will happen next n weather they will think my kids r at risk.

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    Oh Anna I wish I was able to speak to you one to one at the moment you are in a bad place but trust me you can get through this, it is no good me saying stop self harming as you would if you could but please try looking at your lovely childrens faces each time you think of this and maybe they can take away some of the pain please please keep on talking this through and things will get easier
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  • Posted

    your support worker should understand your feelings but make sure you can trust them before you mention suicide feelings unless you feel you have to tell someone soon about it.  Maybe a change in dose or medication could help you as the body gets used to drugs after a while and they stop working as effectively.

    Be strong and talk to someone you can trust.

    Richard

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  • Posted

    You mention a GP and a health visitor but you don''t mention a psychiatrist. However good your GP is, a psychiatrist is a specialist in this area. And then you should have a coordinator.

    And you must mention your suicidal feelings, because how will they be treated if you don't mention this. I appreciate your concern for your kids, but they need their mother and I would have thought that in the long term if would be best for your children if your support team knew how you were feeling.

    But if you don't want to mention this to your support team there is always the Samaritans that you can talk to. I might add that they don't give advice - they just listen.

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    • Posted

      Hi nick anna has not mentioned a mental health team which is a worry self harming alone would benefit her having a cpn and community team social worker cannot help with these needs surely someone has referred her if reading Anna ask your gp to refer you good luck 
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    • Posted

      And Anna in emergency you can go to A&E. They should have an on-call psychiatrist. Obviously referral to a psychiatrist by your GP will take time. There should be also available counselling or access to a psychologist. When I was young my GP referred me to a psychologist in their team. I saw him for a while and then there was a group which met locally. Whatever you need to go to your GP soonest and make clear that you need further help.

      As someone who had suicidal thoughts for a long period after leaving hospital it is worth pointing out that there is a difference between having suicidal thoughts than feeling suicidal. I am a man and I have not had children but I believe that many women who have post-natal depression have suicidal thoughts. AFAIK in the most part they don't have their babies taken away.

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    • Posted

      I had a mental health assessment a few months ago now. Now i have a link worker who is suppose to link me into services or something but hes rubbish. So far im getting no support from them as they dont seem to believe i need it.

      the only person who knows how much im struggling n the reasons behind some of it is my health visitor she is pushing for me to have a cpn etc im waiting for her to call me maybe if im completly truthful with her about how im feeling ill get more help i dunno 

      thank u all for your replies

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  • Posted

    Hi Anna. I have been through simalar to what you are. I planned and acted out suicide 3 times and didn't work.

    You should speak to you health visitor and gp. Maybe you need stronger medication but they shouldn't do anything with your children.Just because you are ill does not mean you are a bad parent. 

    I know what it feels like to feel like you are worthless and good for nothing but these periods do pass. In all how long have you been battling with depression?

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  • Posted

    Hi Anna, I'm sharing this with you because I just want you to know that there IS hope out there. It may not seem like it right now, but there is. 

    I was depressed for 5 years and attempted suicide twice. I won't go too in depth about why I was depressed but lets just say there were countless amount of reasons.

    So.....Counselling did not help, anti depressants did not help and I pushed myself so far away from any support and love given to me, I felt isolated, alone and worthless. I struggled with my sexuality, with my identity and had crazy anxieties and fears. Nothing seemed to help... I closed myself off from the world and turned to drugs and alcohol because that was the only thing that helped ease my heart and my mind. 

    This is until my life dramatically changed 6 months ago... Now i'm on a mission to help you overcome it!! (Because, yea, it can be beat!!!!) Please check out the songs I have wrote and sung on youtube:

    Amy Nichols - Turn Around

    Amy Nichols - Open Her Eyes

    I hope these will help you, because I'm singing from personal experience! 

    If you want to know HOW I went from being depressed to being happy so that it can happen to you, please subscribe to my youtube channel (Amy Nichols) I'll be posting a video very soon!!! (....currently in the making) 

    Sharing my love and hope with you. Xxxo Amy

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  • Posted

    Firstly im glad you are telling your health visitor.

    Have you previously discussed the possiblity of post natal depression?? 

    What about counselling? Being referred for CBT or psychotherapy would be beneficial because medication will only mask symptoms in my opinion and you need somebody to talk things through with.

    If you ever feel like you need to speak to someone then Samaritans are a great help. Theyre lines are open 24/7. You are never alone.

    Thinking of you x 

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