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Feeling suicidal as I am stuck and trapped, can't make any positive changes no matter how hard I try

Posted , 8 users are following.

Zaza124
Zaza124

Throughout my life, I have been very depressed, negative, and anxious. No matter what I do and how hard I try to change myself, my mind always finds a way to self sabotage and prevent changes which basically means I am screwed to feel like this forever no matter how hard I try. I have tried therapy, meditation, affirmations, and even hypnosis methods but my subconscious mind successfully sabotages these efforts and prevents me from changing no matter how hard I try. I have felt like this for years and living life feels like an absolute drag and I can not change it no matter how hard I try, I have also done so much awful things to other people to deal with this pain inside of me and I feel insanely guilty. Suicide is the only way out for me as I will most likely never be able to change or live the life I want, anyone can relate or sympathise?

1 like, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Emis_Moderator
    Emis_Moderator Zaza124

    Posted

    Hi Zaza124,

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    If you are based outside of the UK.

    The Samaritans is a UK based charity, but they also have suggestions for how you can access help in other countries.

    Please have a look at this page https://www.befrienders.org/directory

    Patient

  • jan34534
    jan34534 Zaza124

    Edited

    I completely empathize with you. I know what anxiety and depression with negative thoughts feel like as I have had it for many years also. it is awful i agree . but I just cannot let it win.

    I take one day at a time and I am in weekly therapy. Even though this is a terrible thing to have, there is still too much to live for.

    I can tell you that I change the way I think. Instead of letting all of this upset me and bring me down to the point of crying and giving in, I decided to take a fighting approach to it. My anxiety is worse in the morning so now instead of laying there feeling worse, I get out of bed and go work out right away. Exercise releases endorphins in the brain that help calm you down. I structure my day so that there’s no time to dwell on things like the negative thoughts.

    I feel a lot better when I get determined. do whatever it takes to get help. Change doctors or therapist if you have to

    how long were you in therapy? Also have you tried any medication for depression? you could possibly have a chemical imbalance.

    don’t give up. I know it’s easy for people to tell you that when they don’t know what you’re going through but I do. there’s always ways to get more help when you need it. there’s a guy on YouTube by the name of David Goggins. your former Navy seal. He’s a fighter and he’s been through crazy challenges in his life that could have easily broken. Check him out.

    don’t hesitate to call the national hotline when you really need to talk to somebody anytime day or night. in the US it is 988. They have all kinds of resources etc. and they will listen to you.! never ever ever give up. you will look back one day and be glad you didn’t. ❤

  • sam18386
    sam18386 Zaza124

    Posted

    hi zaza, i am sure people around you will feel different? you obviously haven't found the way forward yet.... can i ask have you made any plans yet? if yes i hope you look after yourself, consider speaking to a health professional before you decide and by reaching out on here tells me you're not quite sure. if you have had made no plans - talk p.m me and keep talking, shout, rant, cry, do whatever you feel, there are ways.

  • sam79006
    sam79006 Zaza124

    Edited

    This reply is waiting to be moderated

    We sometimes need to review content before it’s published to make sure it meets the requirements in our Terms & Conditions.
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