Feeling terminally ill most all the time
Posted , 4 users are following.
Hi. I just wanted to know if anxiety disorder causes you to feel terminally ill all the time? I wake up feeling 100% like im on one of my last days. Extremely morbid exaustion in body and brain. The only way i can describe it is if you were in hospice on your deathbed few days from dying of total infestation. It takes me the ENTIRE day at times to start feeling better only to finally feel almost normal at bedtime just to start the whole thing over again. This includes full body twitching in all my muscles sometimes nonstop and sometimes it's gone. Plus many non-stop symptoms. I was told my whole life i had "anxiety" but if i didn't have all these symptoms physically i wouldn't have ANY damn anxiety. I mean if ANY human being had to suffer these debilitating symptoms EVERY DAY all day feeling like dying or terminally ill they'd have frigging anxiety!!!!!!! Ive been tested for things. Many tests they never really find anything THANK god but i can't imagine a human being feeling this way all the time and not being sick. I obsess constantly because im worried ill be one of those people that don't find out they're dying till the cancer is spread all throughout the entire body. I DON'T want to be one of these victims. Im sick of this being "anxiety" if this truly it anxiety disorder along with all the other symptoms i get( sparing you) then they need to change the name from anxiety to life debilitating neurological disease. Because to me anxiety sounds like a nervous attitude. Im SO sick of living this way!!!!!!! Its ruined my entire life and i have to deal with people my WHOLE life saying im lazy and there's nothing wrong with me. Im suffering 24 hrs a day!!!
Is this what a real anxiety disorder is? My story is much more complicated but i wanted to hear what people think.
1 like, 16 replies
veronica1410 Guest
Posted
Yes hun it's anxiery.... Av you been checked out by doctors..... I have 24/7 a thud thud thud thud in my ears it's very annoying..
Guest veronica1410
Posted
Yeah I've been checked many times, I sometimes even make my doctor do tests I request. i'm usually fine. I did test positive on an ANA test which is auto immune it was positive once but low. Then the next time it was a little higher, EVERYONE has auto immune now in this SICK environment and world, so it doesn't phase me. it's probably auto immune somehow. I'm trying every SINGLE day to find a cure for myself. trying vitamins or herbs. Trying to see if it's some sort of vitamin deficiency. I wonder if it's an allergy. For example gluten intolerance can cause a lot of symptoms I have no idea. I had MRI which was fine thank god but I DID have a lot of brain wave scans and I had some abnormal brainaves. One neurologist thought I had epilepsy, I've never had a seizure that i'm aware of at least not a LARGE one where you black out, but I do suspect Small ones where I am alert and aware when strange brain things happen. When I saw a second neurologist who SPECIALIZED in epilepsy, he said he didn't think I had epilepsy he said I had a different brain and he could give me meds for ANXIETY BIPOLAR ADD and another seizure medicine to try, or I can accept how I am....UGH I don't know. Maybe it's the abnormal brainwaves causing all these symptoms even the heart stuff. If you're brains off then it affects everything else. I was told my brainwaves were abnormal ALL DAY LONG what the heck...………..
ItAintMono Guest
Posted
* Night sweats
* Weakness
* Fatigue
* Dry mouth
* Dry throat
* Feeling lymph nodes everywhere - which doctors check and say are normal.
Guest ItAintMono
Posted
Are you male or female? I NEVER get night sweats. I don't sweat much. I have sleep problems thought like I've had sleep paralysis and what I THOUGHT might have been very small seizures start happening about 2 years ago. I wake up in a VERY panic type state sometimes with phantom smells. I Am sort of in a dream state when it happens so I think the smells are real because they smell 100% real. I'll usually think that there is gas or fumes or exaust or some sort that is poisoning me because my heart beat will be EXTREMELY fast and i'll feel dizzy. SO I end up going from completely asleep to running around the house in the dark in a panic trying to get oxygen.....the next morning I always realize that those things are weird and always have to do with phantom smells. IT'S SO weird... once I was sleeping over a friends in Brooklyn, nh and had one of these and I woke up smelling a strong smell and heart beating really fast and I was 100% convinced somebody was blowing meth or crack smoke through the air conditioner outside of the room. WEIRD HUH? it's some sort of weird spell....neurologist says sleep disorder. I always had sleep problems since I was a kid runs in the family I guess. I have had endless sleep paralysis with scary scary visions during so I think i'm awake and will see like greys (aliens) at my bed abducting me etc it is scary as hell lol Sometimes its evil things or evil presence. Also I have woken up and VERY CLEARLY heard voices RIGHT near me usually like a dog barking or an animal. the other day I heard a turkey, very often it's dogs for some reason and sometimes multiple dogs that sound like hell dogs lol. once as CLEAR as day I heard a beautiful piano song right literally in my ears...clear and real. I've also heard beautiful angelic singing along with extreme feelings of peace that are impossible to describe. I NEVER ever halloucinated or heard things in my FULLY waken state these things happened after I wake up but within 1 min of waking up it's a brain thing. my brain must be all screwed up. Anyway. I wake up with 100% dry mouth and dry eyes so severe I can't open my eyes AT ALL I have to grab behind me and get the drops before I can even open my eyes. when I wake up most of the time I am SO EXTREMELY fatigued that it feels 100% like i'm on my death bed about to die..it's the worst feeling as if I have lukemia and gonna die in minutes..it's awful takes all day to recover. Now at times like now 11pm I feel better ALMOST fully better but soon I have to sleep and do it all again.
I also have full body twitching all throughout my muscles and sometimes when I wake up I have massive bursts of them...Who the hell has this stuff!??!??!? it's def not normal.
ItAintMono Guest
Posted
The weird visions is something I get too, I see faces or something weird like that. I saw you comment in another thread about zig zag stuff too? I also get that sometimes too! Really weird, like everything suddenly starts moving sideways in my vision. That usually happens if I wake up during the night.
I get dry mouth terribly too! Eyes not so much, but my mouth has been terrible lately. Going to dentist soon to get the all check out, hopefully nothing going on in my mouth.
Guest ItAintMono
Posted
I was actually going to say that most all guys I know, seem to have bad sweating at night. I don't know why. but they seem to get EXTREMELY hot during the night and I hear of it a lot.. i don't think it's a girl thing at all it's a guy thing. so the sweating is probably normal. weird how we get this eye vision stuff.
I get the dry mouth EXTREMELY severe at times can't even open mouth wtf is that? i think it's sleeping with mouth open or something.
ItAintMono Guest
Posted
Oh right! Well that's somewhat of a relief.
Yeah, I think it could be sleeping with mouth open, I've always done that if I sleep on my back. But lately it has been even worse. I was getting it during the day too, but that seems to have stopped now.
I guess it could all be anxiety symptoms, but sometimes it really doesn't feel like it!
Melissa4579 Guest
Posted
Hi l,
Have they tried any meds to help you? There is s alot of us out there that have this happen. It's very hard to not obsess about it once it happens it freaks you out then your adrenaline is racing through your body and is gonna make you feel tense and speed up your heart upon numerous other things. It's a daily struggle to just say ah heck with it and not think about it at all. If nothing is happening then your in fear of it happening again and so the circle continues. It really is a shame that this happens at all to anyone. The best advice since you have been tested and those are normal is try not to fear it. Don't google search symptoms or else you are feeding the flame. You have to get your fight or flight response to calm down and you don't need anything else to get it going. Believe me I have to watch how I respond to everything because if I am overly any k i'mnd of emotion right now it makes me feel anxious. It takes time for the body to heal from stresses and the best thing is to start waking up saying more positive things. Anxiety gives us negative thoughts and so much negative retrain your brain to the positive. Search hard for positive and dwell on those things
Guest Melissa4579
Posted
Guest
Posted
That's TRUE you need to TRY to say positive things even though you don't feel them. it's so hard because I have 24 hours a day obsessive negative worries nonstop.
It's just SO hard not to think bad things when you truly feel like you're about to die and feel EXTREMELY sick. I don't really gooogle symptoms because I have been reading and researching disease since I was about 7 years old when I got my hands on the family diseases dictionary LMAO i'm obsessed with diseases and medical. If I was normal and functional i'd be the best doctor around. I have Correctly diagnosed MANY friends and family members even when the doctors got it wrong on my first try almost ever time because of how much time I always put into disease lol I guess it's my obsession. I have literallyu saved a few friends from things that could have taken their life when doctors didn't even help them and I was correct everytime. SO I don't really need to google symptoms unless it's some disease I didn't yet learn about.
The thing with my symptoms is I don't really hear of many people having this stuff... like the twitching throughout my entire body sometimes constantly. That twitching started maybe 6 or 7 years ago I actually remember the day it first started. I remember that day I took some enzyme supplements and started getting twitching all over and thinking it was the enzyme that caused it. But I stopped taking it and still had the twitching. I was going through EXTREME EXTREME stress at the time watching my dad die and suffer extreme from an awful disease polycythemia a rare blood cancer, and extreme skin cancer all over his body in which he needed constant sometimes daily surgeries. It was AWFUL astronomical stress. I think maybe all the stress I have had in my life is literally ruining my body and destroying me physically. But I can't find anything to help. Klonopin helps a lot but I get addicted to it very fast and scared to take it. Because let's say I take it one day i'll feel good and a LOT of symptoms go away, once it wears off, the symptoms plus STRONG anxiety I didn't have before I took it will come. So it's like i'll immediately want to take more to make that go away. I could easily get addicted and one lady wanted me on klonopin 3 times a day plus more if needed I would have been 100% addicted drug addict if I listened to her and wasn't smart. benzo withdrawl is awful and everyone gets a tolerance.
The ABSOLUTE best thing that ever helped was lamotrigine. A seizure med. It literally stopped all my anxiety most my physical symtoms and MANY other things. For example i'm extremely hypersensitive but was more so 2 years ago. Hyper sensitive to sound, smell etc. This medicine turns it ALL off also I had severe nightmares every single day since I was in the crib and probably well before that, every day of my life my entire life. When I went on lamotrigine, foro the first time ever in my life, I slept without dreaming. It was VERY strange to lose ALL my senses. I mean to be honest I liked having a oversensitive sense of smell I was literally like an animal or dog I could smell if anyone was around or had been in my house or I could smell diseases on people I could tell who had their period who was pregnant all sorts of things.. it seriously was a gift. The lamotrigine SHUT IT OFF it shut all my superpower senses off and made me normal....in a way it was good but in another way it was awful because I had nothing special left. Also I have always been extremely psychic my whole life, Not a crazy psychic real stuff like real proven stuff detailed stuff that was legit, I am not positive but I think it SHUT it off and ruined it! i'm sort of really mad that it took all special things away but one thing is for sure it did help a little certain stuff permanent by the way, I was only on the med for like 2 months I had a severe allergic reaction and all sorts of symptoms I think I got medication induced lupus from it and I broke out in a rash and all my lymph nodes swelled up and it was bad. I havn't been on a medicine since and like I said a LOT of the stuff I had before the med are permanently gone BUT lamotrigine they say can clear the brain of certain toxins so maybe that has something to do with it.
ANyway i'll stop the rant now because I know this reply is already too long lol
Thanks for your reply!
Melissa4579 Guest
Posted
I completely understand! I used to study medical books also it fascinated me! I thought I could be a doctor seemed to be the only information I retained lol. But now that works against me! My doctors often say I am too smart for my own good.
I am sorry that this is happening. Since you have that medical logic and reasoning then you are able to deflect better to mark off what it couldn't be. I get muscle spasms. I am not sure if it's something new or something I am just noticing now since I am hyper sensitive. Dr said I must be dehydrated but I drink tons and yet it still happens. I think that my muscles are just so tense that when I try to relax they have to fight back lol. Is the twitching within the muscles? Is it your arms and legs? Did the dr do test for it and say it is just anxiety?
I understand about the benzo's also. So much that I would cut it into 1/4ths and only take it if I needed to make the anxiety attack manageable. The doctor told me he appreciated that I don't like to take pills so he will never worry about me being an addict, but told me I needed to take the therapeutic dosing to get rid of all symptoms and not just to make it manageable. I still do only 1/4 at a time hahaha but I have taken it a little more since starting the antidepressants but I pay special attention to not overtake it. It's just some strange thing I have that I dont just take anything that is prescribed without doing my research. I dont want to trade one thing in for another lol. I have also gotten in the bad habit of playing bingo scratchers because they take a while and keep me thinking about something else lol. So we all have our weirdness and that's ok. Just dont freak out about it and dont dwell in the past (easier said then done I know). Try and look up ways to combat your stress and try them all. It takes 21 days to develop a habit of anything. So try it for 21 days and see if it makes you feel better if not try something else. The best part is you will get distracted.
Guest Melissa4579
Posted
Melissa4579 Guest
Posted
No I didn't get it lol. I hate when that happens! It's happened to me too a couple of times.
Guest Melissa4579
Posted
Ohhh
now I forget all I wrote 
lol but anyway I am like you only taking a tiny 1/4 of med if possible lol I am very medication sensitive. at least with some medication that may mentally affect you. i'm gonna try like you said to replace neg thoughts in morning with pos. I mean I am not sure it'll make me FEEL physically better I went to bed early yesterday at like 10 and woke up at 10 100% completely dead beat exhausted as if dying...I DID get my period but damn...…….why should any living creature feel this way .
Melissa4579 Guest
Posted
Periods can be draining. I always felt terrible especially the first day. Tired and achy. That's normal. Anxiety may be worse around that time also.
Guest Melissa4579
Posted
it's more than just tired and achy though, it's morbid extreme exhaustion that feels like I am literally going to pass away any day.