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Not really sure how to describe what I'm feeling but I have this unsettled feeling since seeing my GP 2 days ago.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in September last year and begun taking sertraline (reluctently) in November. I've also been having CBT Therapy and signed off work since then too.
I was beginning to feel better and was hoping to reduce my dosage of sertraline which I discussed with my counsellor in January. Since then I have had surgery to try and resolve an on going medical problem which I believe was partally causing my depression along with several other factors. Everything was looking positive until while I was in hospital my husband was diagnosed with lung and secondary bone cancer.
I saw my GP a few days after being released from hospital as I needed some extra pain relief and my husband came with me. He had also been with me to another appointment in December to discuss my treatment and affect on sex life as we were planning to try for a baby. When I saw him the last time my GP asked me to come back on my own to discuss my depression which I did earlier this week. During this appointment GP asked me about my husband's drinking - I never really know whether you would describe my husband as an alcoholic as he likes to drink but he can stop without any problem if he wants to (he gave up for 6 months last year and had no withdrawal symptoms which I have witnessed in other family members). He also is not violent and just tends to fall asleep in his chair after a bottle of wine. Anyway doctor smelt alcohol on him at one of my last appointments and questioned whether I was safe.
I told him that my husband is not violent and that I would never stand violence in our relationship having experienced it with my mother. After this we discussed the effect my husband's diagnosis has had on me and my meds deciding not to come off them while we deal with the effects of my husband's cancer on our lives. But ever since my appointment I have an uneasy feeling that I can't explain. I don't know if it is that I feel I need to defend him or even our relationship - I have had to do this for nearly 5 years due to a big age difference between us. All I know is that I now feel more anxious than I did before and I completley broke down this morning but I'm reluctant to go back.
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