Feeling unwanted alone never good enough unsuccessful

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this  is hard for me to type  this cause this is the first time ive spoke about this to anyone. The last few years about the time i turn 18. I started feeling like anything i do or say is never good enough or just sounds stupid. Through school i had very few friends if any i never hangout at friends parties or at school events I was very anti-social. I never had a real realationship that lasted. I got made fun of about 90% of  the time all the way through school until graduation. Unlike my other siblings i decided to go into the workforce instead of going into college. so my family started treating kinda different. They say they don't but to me it feels different like to there eyes I'm not good enough to them. When i turn 19 i got into contact with my biological father by the way he was never in my life; and all i wanted to know why he was never there for me.Then he started lying to me accusing of me of stuff that i didnt do. We lost contact; we haven't talked since. couple of monthes later i found out that he cares for two other kids thats not even his and he just met more than me. Made me feel like he didnt care and wasnt good enough to be his son. All my life all i wanted was to know why i was never good enough to be called his son for him to actually be there when i needed him the most but he cant be there for his new girlfriends kids. There more to it but its hard to put it into text. Now i feel like im alone cause im not the person my family wants me to be. Im feel like unwanted and not good enough cause the very few friends i did have dont want to hang out or my dad dont want to be in my life anymore. i just feel alone unsuccessful and unwanted. It has cause me to not be happy not to trust anyone anymore i don't want to be around anyone cause i feel stupid or worthless when im around people or my family. i lock myself in my room now and wonder if im worth anything to anyone and that i make my family happy if i disappeared. like i said its hard for me to put this into text cause this the first i talked about this to anyone. No one that knows me personally know how i feel about 100% of the time. i dont know if this is depression but if someone can give me some advice how to deal with this so i can feel like im worth something to my parents how to deal with feeling worthless and unwanted by my father. If you could seriously help please message me thank you.

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  • Posted

    Hi master1,

    sorry that you had to find your way here, but it is good that you did.

    You are only 19 and far too young to consider yourself unsuccessful. You have millions of choices still ahead of you that could turn your life 180 degrees.

    I am very sorry about how badly your biological father has treated you. He is awful and wrong to be this way to you. And he should be ashamed.

    But it does sound like the rest of your family is there for you. I don't think they feel differently about you because you are not going to university.  Lots of people don't and have very successful careers.

    I don't know what kind of job you have but if it wont be something that you will want to do for 5, 10, 15 years try thinking about going to vocation school and learn some kind of trade that you are already interested in.

    Don't worry about the people/friends from school. Most people lose contact with school friends and develop new friends as they go along in life.  Sometimes, we get stuck with our identity we had in school; the nerd, the loner....  But, you can reinvent yourself when you are out of school now.

    You can be anything you want.  If you find something you are interested in, I think it will be easier for you to make friends in that area because you will have stuff in common.

    What are you interested in? don't lose hope, please, you have so much potential.

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  • Posted

    Hi master1 you have no reason to feel like this as your family love you for you änd not whether you are 'successful'.  They want you to be happy and to live your life the way you choose.  Would you judge them. by this criteria?  Are you all reälly so shallow?  Of course not.


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  • Posted

    Hey Master1,

    Being young is tough the most emotional time of your life I rember being that age and everything seemed hard and i had no self confidence at all which filled me with nothing but worry ! However it gets easier in life the older you get or maybe we learnt to accept life more for what it is... If you havent felt like this for long then maybe you could benefit taling to your GP ? if you have depression there are many methods of coping and treating the symptoms of such. People live with depression and its not the begining to suicide like I thought it was. Talk to your family they love you even if they say they dont I am pretty sure of that. Start searching for happiness rather than hoping it will find you! what hoppies do you like try new things everything in life requires effort even happiness my friend! take care wink 

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  • Posted

    Hey master 1. I have read all the replies you have gotten and know that they weren't what you were looking for. Being in your state of mind words of positivity and encouragement don't help. They are nice to hear but won't change your state of mind. How I know this is because i have felt the exact same way you do my entire life. I don't remember a lot of my life because I have blocked it out thinking if I don't remember hurt and pain I will be happier. I am 38 and it is a struggle to be happy and social everyday. Obviously some days are good but most days I stay on thus earth so I won't make others sad. My story is pretty much identical to yours. Had no father growing up, did have a step dad for 15 years of my life the first 10 we never got along the last 5 I called him dad then out of the blue he was gone. Haven't heard from him since. Crushed me. Career wise same thing I live paycheck to paycheck can never seem to get ahead. My siblings completely different all are married with kids and living well and happy. I have to borrow money from my mother most the time. Pretty pathetic at my age. Also had no friends growing up as well was constantly bullied at school and made fun of. Even my own brother joined in with others to insult me. Got so bad I had to take home school in junior high. High school was a little different. While home schooling I worked out everyday for the purpose of making an example of the next guy that felt the need to insult me for no reason. And sure as s**t first day of high school Mr popular did just that And that was the last time he did or any man ever again. Every single girl I have dated has cheated on me but the last one pretty much ruined me and my depression and feeling of self worth is the worst it has ever been. Let's just say was with her 12 years found out she cheated on me 10 times and the son I thought was mine was from one of the guys she cheated on me with. I still am raising him as if he is my son because I was there when he was born. He is 4 now but for 3 and a half years found out that his mother's was trying to start a family with other men when I was away at work. Had enough and left her but now I barely get to see my son and am going to miss a lot and why ? Tried dating 3 woman after but they all left because some days I miss my son too much and can't lift myself up. So the answer to your question is YOU. You can go to coucilling which I didn't find helped me much, you can go see your doctor and get anti depressants heard they help, something I haven't tried yet. But the one thing that will work is YOU. Screw your dad you don't need people like that in your life and blood doesn't make a father and that is all you guys share. You have a family without him. As for your job if you love it keep doing it if you don't find something you will and go for it. If you do something you love to do guaranteed you will see things differently. And things will start clicking. You are young that is a great thing going for You. Most days I know it hard to get out of bed. But force yourself and after work before you lock yourself away go for a walk. Fresh air and exercise will make you feel better. Locking yourself away makes things worse. You don't see it or feel it because of comfort but trust me it does. And I don't know if it will help but you ever need someone to talk to you can give me a call 5878927770 it does help talking to people with the same issues. My name is Dave and if I can help you out I will

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