Feeling useless , hopeless and lonley

YOU SOUND DEPRESSED AND PROBABLY FEELING SOMEWHAT HOPELESS. LIFE CAN SUCK AT TIMES BUT YOU HAVE A WHOLE LIFE JOURNEY AHEAD AND CAPABLE OF A BETTER SITUATION FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR TWO DEPENDENT

DOGS. YOU ARE NOT HELPLESS. YOU WROTE ABOUT YOUR SITUATION AND EXPRESSED YOUR NEEDS WELL INDICATING INTELLIGENCE AND WELL ORGANIZED THOUGHTS. YOU ARE CERTAINLY CAPABLE OF A BETTER FUTURE FOR YOURSELF. YOU NEED TO FIND YOURSELF AND YOUR INTERESTS. NOT HAVING THE GUIDANCE AND DIRECTION OF THE LOVING PARENTS YOU SO DESERVE MAKES IT DIFFICULT BUT CERTAINLY NOT IMPOSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE A GOOD LIFE FOR YOURSELF. PERHAPS A COUNSELOR OR LIFE COACH CAN HELP. ARE THERE ANY VOCATIONAL SCHOOLS OFFERING DEGREES IN VETERINARY TECH, SONOGRAM TECH, DENTAL HYGIENE ETC. TRAINING THAT WOULD LEAD TO A JOB THAT IS NOT DEADEND AND A ACTUALLY A CAREER FOR YOU? SO IMPORTANT TO ENRICH AND INVEST IN YOURSELF. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOUR INTEREST ARE AS A FIRST STEP.

Hi renkir,i am 45, have had ill health for 10 years and been unable to work for the last 7. I feel ss though my life has ground to a halt. I feel like i don't belong anywhere but then i think of my aunty who is dieing. It brings me back to Earth. Some days i think it's not worth it other days it is. You have to weigh up what is vital to you, not your family or friends or anyone else ZZ what do you want? Having been raped twice and left to cope and say nothing for over 20 years has done damage. All i want and have ever wanted is a child to heal the gap in my heart that is permanently there, that child it's been my goal for years. Otherwise j will die knowing my only claim to fame is i was raped by 2 men. Remember:what do you want for YOU?

Iam 56 years old, divorced twice, two kids that don't talk to me, no friends, live by myself, drink and smoke a lot, no exercise, have a collage decree in political science, a law decree from mexico and a doctorate in law from the usa. I work a lot every day as a lawyer in texas but for the last 3 years I have make net about minimum wage, plus I have to pay my mortgage, car, no health insurance, Bill's, etc. I haven't celebrated any holiday in the last 5 years. Including my birthday, but I am always feeling great, have lots of hope and know that any moment thinks are getting better and better for me bc god loves me and I trust in him. What helps me most and fills me with joy, peace, confidence, hope, energy, love, happiness, etc, is reading and listen at the same time yo a bible in spanish, my native language, and talking to God like conversing to a person and since I am by myself, I do it most of the time. I tell him what I dreamed, what I want, and whatever comes to mind. Sometimes he responds to my qiestions in a dream, others with actions in real life, like yesterday the screen mirroring stopped working so I could not watch videos/movies from my phone in the TV screen. I tried everything but nothing worked. So I told god if he wanted me to read and listen to the bible in the TV screen, to make it work. I went to the bathroom to smoke a cigarret and when I got back to my bedroom, wuala, the screen mirroring was working. I read and listen to the bible for a few minutes on the screen but thenit started breakingout on and off, so I told God if he wanted me to watch a movie to let me know by fixing that problem. I started a movie and the connection and mirroring was fine, eventhoug it takes a lot more data to dowload a HD movie than just sounds and letters. It's been pretty much like that for over 15 years now, so I know that God is getting closer to finish his work on me, meanwhile, I am having a great time in my solitude, which helps me feel the presence of God in my physical body, when increases, I hear a high pitch sound like rattles in my head, I feel a joyfull warming of my body, I see in the empty space the glory of god which looks like floating energy amber in color palpitating in synchrony with my heart beat.

I never get seek or need any money or anything else. God bless you, you are not alone my brother he is within you inviting you to put attention to his presence in your body.