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To say it has been a difficult few years is an under estimate, started in 2011 when my beautiful lovely friend was rediagnosed with terminal cancer, I held her hand all the way - hospital visits, going to theatre, extra.. 2012 my partner and I had a disagreement didnt speak for 6 months ish, towards end of the 6 months he had an affair, very messy, I was signed off work with stress. As I was trying to do 3 jobs in part time hours (NHS for you)!. following a very stressful time my partner and I decided to give it another go - we have a child plus 20 yrs together, where I have forgiven him cant forgive myself for forgiving him (its just not right to treat someone like that). My partner is very hot headed and 'doesnt give a damn' about most people, as a result we are in dispute with the neighbours over a party wall, and them wanting to knock the wall down that we built to build an extension. - where I know the wall will be replaced by the extension wall (probably nicer than what is there now) my partner I think is just being awkward..and I think is going to kick off any minute, . it is causing me so much anxiety. I get palpations, high bp. All I want to do it get away from it all, but difficult with a 10 yr old. I do not let my anxiety effect anything to do with my child. I am very good at putting on a brave face. I have mentioned to my partner ' no wonder I am stressed with you'. he just doesnt think I am. not sure what to do, feel like I am going to have a heart attack or stroke! I know you will probably say see your GP, but to be honest they are a little useless at my surgery. all I do is eat so putting on weight which is causing me more stress. Vicious circle. be nice to know I am not alone. even though I feel it. I sort of wish I had the strength to get rid of my partner when I had the chance as a lot of my anxiety I feel is when he is around or when I know how he is going to react to situations. sorry for rambling on!!!
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