Feeling very low and weepy, dont think I can get through this. Any advice please

Aww Kath, we all certainly have had those days. I hope that you are feeling better and cheering up. Please know that we are here to listen and we DO understand completely. You had your surgery exactly one week after me and trust me it is very early in recovery. I know because I have had the same feelings and bad days. I too see housework piling up etc....Not because my family won't help but because I am one of those people who has to do everything to an extreme or very picky....so seems even if someone does something to help it is not the way I would do it. Not good being that way, and I know it. I have to learn to accept that not everyone does things exactly like I would. Something to think of that my husband always tells me...."the work will still be there later and who's coming over anyways the president"? Just something to think about, because I certainly now how stressful it is to see the house being messy and not a thing we can do about it but look at the mess....Wishing you the best and hope you feel better soon.....Barb

Hi kath scold yourself for feeling like you do.  It's only a month since you had a major operation. I'm already 5 months post op and I get that feeling too.  It's frustrating not being able to do things.  Just think about yourself first and think the housework will be there when you're not.  The family should want to help you get through this difficult time then you wouldn't have to keep asking them.  Keep thinking positive and I hope things look up for you, give it time.

Brenda

You can and you will. That is all

Hi kath

I totally understand how you are feeling l am 4 months post op for one hip and 6 for the other. My moods have been awful crying a lot days l just feel like l am.getting know where or going backwards and life can be sh## sometimes as Linda said in a post. Life goes on around you. Nobody and l mean nobody understands just how bad you can feel apart from other hippies. I have now been told l have OA in my knee's and am back to hospital on wednesday to see orthapedic surgeon and l have just found out my mum has cancer.

But l don't want to sound like doom and gloom

You will get through it it does get better. I found that finding out about my mum put my problems into perspective. I can be fixed l may only be 43 and have had the year from hell and its still going on as l have painful knees now but my hips are great. I still have to take pain medication and l am still of work but you have to try and be posative. Ever though l know how hard it can be as l have been where you are so many times as graham said its a long road to recovery but if l look back at where l was 5 month 4 months 3 months ago l.have come so far. Although there is a spanner in the works for me at the moment as my knee's are holding me back l think about what my mums just been told and l say l can do this its not gonna kill me it will make me stronger in the end. I have to be strong for my mum thats my priority at the moment but l am still in recovery l still wake up in pain because my muscles are still healing on both sides. But be strong kath the bad days will pass and you will have good weeks and then maybe another bad few days. Thats how it goes with thr's up and down. But in the end it will be worth it. Just remember you have aĺl us on the forum that knows exactly what you are going through. Although some people have easier recoveries and some stuggle. I would say l have been the later.

Big hugs

Laura

Xx

I felt just the same as you in the early days - and no one can really understand just how dependent and vulnerable you feel after this huge operation unless they have been through it.

I felt my family were largely indifferent too - except my husband and children, it is very hurtful to be dealing with such major surgery and feeling so hurt at the same time.

I can reassure you that you WILL get every ounce of your independence back, you will soon be cleaning your house and on top of everything again - but for the moment you must look after yourself and take time out. If you can possibly afford it why not book some cleaning help? Someone at least to do your ironing? Whatever is bugging you the most. If you can't stretch to it - then you need to keep one room clean - the place you spend your time and the rest of the house put it out of your mind. Let it go. It is only dust and will not harm.

I wore the same leggings for seven days in a row and longer because I couldn't manage everything, and had to prioritise ; I have two young children to care for, so had to put them first. Your standards simply need to be suspended for a little while / you can soon clean to your hearts content. Do what you can, then rest a lot. Look after yourself - put your family to one side and focus just on you.

You will get through this, you are doing brilliantly and over the worst. In the next few days and weeks bit by bit your life will be back to normal - big hugs xxx

Hi Kath

Sorry you are feeling so bad.  I can really sympathise as I had depression pre op too or rather have battled it for years really if I am truthful.

However what I can say is that you will only feel physically impaired for a relativley short time.  You will be amazed how quickly you will progress.

I would suggest setting yourself small goals and make a diary of your progress and take pleasure from these triumphs.  Re housework you only really need to occupy one or 2 rooms and a brief tidy will suffice.  For the next few weeks only wash and wear clothes that don't require ironing. Only get in ready meals and fruit and salads so you dont have to cook.  Watch all the bad tv you want and get a good book.

Re your family and firends try not to be too upset with them.  They really dont understand how you feel and everyone thinks THRs are easy until they go through it themselves.

It is important for you to have some company though and to get out of the house, so why not ask your family to take you out for a coffee or a short trip to the shops instead of helping with housework.

You will get better and your mood will improve as you sleep better and regain your strength.

Hang in there and use this forum to help you.

hugs

Alison