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Feeling very suicidal.

Posted , 10 users are following.

danielle_62923
danielle_62923

I have been depressed for a long time but never bothered to do anything about it. 3 weeks ago I went to my doctor and she prescribed me Citalopram 20mg to be taken daily. I went back after 2 weeks and told her it made me worse. I've been taking 25mg Sertraline (to be upped to 50mg starting tomorrow) and I'm not seeing myself get any better. Recently I've started to have panic attacks which is why she gave me Sertraline. All I think about is how much better off I would be not being here, suicide seems like the only option, I wouldn't have to feel like this anymore. I don't ever feel happy, I either feel completely empty and numb or extremely down and suicidal. I don't know what to do any more. 

2 likes, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • danielle_62923
    danielle_62923

    Posted

    Also, I don't like to leave the house anymore. I've been signed off sick from work for 3 weeks and I'm dreading going back.
    • vera47902
      vera47902 danielle_62923

      Posted

      Hi Danielle. 

      I can understand all your going through. On a really dark downer I feel like ending it all too. But I try and talk myself out of it. Try and keep busy which can be hard. If your not ready to go back to work tell your doctor as going back too soon will make matter worse I know I went back to soon and ended up in hospital. But talk to us. We all know what your going through. Some people Bury there heads in sand where depression is concerned. Don't do anything to yourself talk to us. About anything ok 

      Vera

    • rachel1970
      rachel1970 danielle_62923

      Posted

      Ive been signed off for 4 weeks as I get paranoid everyones talking about me in work but with the help of my meds I hope that thought will go.
  • richard89308
    richard89308 danielle_62923

    Posted

    sorry to hear you suffering so badly over this.  I should try and ride it out if you can to see the benefits of the increased dosage.  I hope you feel better in a few weeks after the tablets become effective.  Be patient there are  a lot of people who come on the forum feeling just as you do.

    Richard

  • meteor63
    meteor63 danielle_62923

    Posted

    Did the suicidal thoughts and not wanting to leave the house happen after your started the citalopram and sertraline? The same thing happened to me on both drugs.
    • danielle_62923
      danielle_62923 meteor63

      Posted

      The suicidal thoughts have been there a while, a couple months back I took zopiclone for a couple of weeks, I think that's around the time it started. The not wanting to leave the house started after I began the medication. 
    • meteor63
      meteor63 danielle_62923

      Posted

      Oh gosh I took zopiclone and I had the worst suicidal ideation ever. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
    • danielle_62923
      danielle_62923 meteor63

      Posted

      I think the zopiclone did make me a lot worse. I was constantly on the verge of tears and wanted to end it all, I kept thinking of ways how. How are you getting on now are you any better?
  • charlotte1983
    charlotte1983 danielle_62923

    Posted

    Hi Danielle,

    I've only just joined this site but felt I had to reply. I myself and my mum have both been on citalopram and completely understand this first initial feeling you have. I know that currently nothing will make you feel better and it may be like you are in the middle of a thick fog. Please know that these feelings do start to go away and you will gradually feel less suicidal. Citalopram initially heightens these feelings but they do start to fade slightly, it's a case of 'riding them out' which sounds dreadful but that was all I could do. It may really help you to talk to some one if that's possible? X

  • rachel1970
    rachel1970 danielle_62923

    Posted

    Hi Danielle, I was very suicidal 2 weeks ago and my nurse adviced me to get out more to take up a new hobby,do something i really enjoy, I find it hard as I still get anxious when im out but I force myself to go for a short walk every day even thou Im not really enjoying it,is there something in life u do really enjoy doing?
    • danielle_62923
      danielle_62923 rachel1970

      Posted

      I don't really enjoy doing anything anymore. I just sit in and do nothing all day which I know isn't helping but I can't bring myself to do anything. I might try starting to take a walk every day and see if that helps improve. 
    • julie1111
      julie1111 danielle_62923

      Posted

      hi danielle this is how i started my recovery by walking even if its just for 10mins its a start and excise lifts the mood. do try and help your self i know how hard it is i have been there from small walks i went onto groups ! your worth it x
    • rachel1970
      rachel1970 danielle_62923

      Posted

      I was like that for months but now I have to push myself,its better if you have someone who insists you go out with them,I have good support from family and friends its better to have someone beside you.
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