Felling like i want to die
Posted , 5 users are following.
My boyfriend off 3years just left me after i find out that he's been texting other girls from the phone i got for him i called them and they denied knowing him he doesn't want to see me or talk to me i haven't been able to eat emotionally turn apart no sleep for days i turn myself to drinkig and put myself to sleep that way i helped him so much did everything for him i know is over but i have really dark thoughts and i dont know how to let go i feel like i want to die and i cant bare the pain i have inside i still love him im scared that i will do something to myself i cant cope with this pain all i do i cry i dont want to live like this i vomit evry day i dont know how to cope with this
0 likes, 5 replies
gary78460 Guest
Posted
Guest gary78460
Posted
I know all of that but i dont know how to run away from the pain im feeling inside he is saying that they are just a friends and nothing more my actions and the fact i didnt trust him and my insecurity always beeing suspicious and not giving him time to breathe to me is more pain trying to find myself and the guilt that i been this way for long time at this point the way i feel im just trying to live day by day i had realy bad episodes last week when i wanted and was looking for ways to do it i started to go out go to the forest mostly and just walk walk and cry cry i know what i did was wrong i shouldn't make those cslls and made fool out myself i think the fact that my mpm was this way and thats how she treated my dad always being so suspicious i grow up thinkig this is normal i think that my actions did this i beed to find myself and put the end sot down talk to my mom tell her what i think about the way i was growing up and go from there because if i dont change my life soon and find the purpose of me beeing here i think it will be not good
Ps I'm 42
wayne1962 Guest
Posted
Hi Danielle - keep remembering that his interest extends to flirting and sneaky texting with possible rivals. One point - he left you after you found out he was cheating? Sounds like he was looking for an excuse to leave the relationship. His behaviour demonstrates the regard with which he holds you. Let him go. Get angry about it and use that drive you to a new reality that does not include him.
gary78460 Guest
Posted
mina81739 Guest
Posted
Danielle, I am so sorry that you are hurting, and I promise you it will eventually get better. He was not good for you and he didn't have your best interest at heart. I remember when I use to think that love was just an emotion. I was always heart broken. I was sitting in church one day listening to one of the women explain to a bunch of teens what love is. She caught my attention when she said that "love was an act and not so much an emotion. That love was kind, giving, truthful, considered, patient, gentle with a lot of self control. I thought and thought about what she said, and realized that she was right. Because Jesus exhibit all of those traits as He died for our sons on the cross.
So please take your time to heal from this breakup. And when you are ready to try it again, look for someone with a kind and loving heart. He made not be what you usually look for in a man, but he will be what you will learn to enjoy in a man. God bless you.