Female Sex Problems Post Surgery?
Posted , 8 users are following.
Hello I am a 46yo Female scheduled for a traditional scalpel hemorrhoidectomy in 10 days. I have known about it for 2 months (timing issue) and the anxiety is unbearable. Suddenly I am concerned with sexual function post surgery. 15 years ago, I had pelvic floor dysfunction that would cause tremendously painful rectal spasms and painful intercourse. I have made full recovery by strengthening those muscles. I am wondering if post op pain is similar to what I used to experience after sex- it is crippling and nonstop. I have an active sex life, and am wondering how this surgery will impact it. I can find nothing on this subject- only 1 study that says there is a massive increase in sexual dysfunction for women after traditional scalpel surgery. While I understand it takes time to heal, once fully healed... are there any women out there who can comment on how the surgery has or has not affected their sex life? I have 3 total, stage 4, all external though my surgeon says they often run in columns and chances are I have some internal, though never had anything prolapse or indicate that this is true for me. I have had them since I was 20, and only flare a few times a year. Because of this, I am considering backing out. I am on access, so the insurance covers all costs and unemployed so recovery time could not be more convenient. Surgeons just say they "don't know for sure". I see no posts on this subject, so any insight you can offer is greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time!
0 likes, 13 replies
sorebutt julie50045
Posted
I hope its not a silly question , but have you looked into other types of surgery that are not so drastic as the full haemhorroidectomy ? Procedures such as halo , arterial ligation etc .
julie50045 sorebutt
Posted
Thank you so, so much for the response. It's not silly to ask- in fact, I asked all of my doctors the same thing!! I've seen 3 rectal surgeons and 2 primary care docs who all agreed that if I were to do anything about them... the solution is traditional surgery. I don't qualify for other procedures because they are stage 4 external on the anus. I have never had a protrusion, we believe they are all external. With HALo, recurrence in 1 year is normal! Surgery has a 95% success rate, which appeals. I will manage the nauseating, black out causing pain everyone describes- if they can do it, I can do it, too. I am worried about the after effects on vaginal sex. I see enough posts from men on eventually resuming anal penetration but nothing- not one single discussion around vaginal intercourse, so can I assume it is not an issue after all, or does no one want to talk about it? The 1 study they did shows an increase in post surgery sex dysfunction, so there must be something to it. Thanks again for answering, these message boards can be a lonely place. Have you had the surgery? Has it negatively impacted your sex life? Of course I don't know your gender...
sorebutt julie50045
Posted
Hi Julie , yes I have had about 8 procedures over the years , so well versed in the after effects . Unfortunately as a male , I cannot comment on your questions regarding having a vagina . Like so may others , I have been through the full haemorroidectomy , and for me it was hell . Not everyone has a real bad experience , but it does seem you are ready for it though .
Unlucky for me , I discovered that it was a food intolerance that was causing the worst problems for me , after I had been through the procedures .
I wish you good luck and success with your op , and hope you are one of the lucky ones , who go through it relatively painlessly .
Guest julie50045
Posted
Hi I had the traditional haemorridectomy 2 months ago. The first week pain a little bad but more sore. Every week does get better to be honest. For me it took 4 weeks to feel a bit normal. Re sex, I think you should definitely wait 3-4 weeks minimum post surgery. Everyone is different though and has different opinons, you will know how you feel when the time comes. But i think 3-4 weeks is realistic. Best thing to do is go for the operation and get it over and done with, thats the main thing. That way you will save any further issues.
Remember to stock up on ladies pads for when you are back home and alcohol free wet wipes. Also go for a bowel movement the morning of your opp or night before so your tummy is empty. Eat small portions of food after the opp but high fibre, e.g spinach. Hope it goes well.
julie50045 Guest
Posted
Hi U! Thanks for replying.
I have very realistic expectations on time to heal before intercourse. I am not worried about that. I am asking that once you are healed, has it negatively (or otherwise) impacted your vaginal intercourse experience?
Guest julie50045
Posted
Oh i see sorry! I am not seeing anyone and I am a guy so cant really say to be honest...However once you are all fully recovered I do not think it will be a problem
emma04392 julie50045
Posted
Hi,
I'm glad someone else asked this. I tried to get feedback a few months ago but noone really said anything.
I had traditional surgery in end of February and for about 3-4 months I couldn't even think about sex. The Oedema was so swollen and caused such pain that it put me off anything intimate really. I don't remember exactly when but it was maybe after about 6 months that I actually started feeling some light desire then I just tried to check how things goes on my own.
Well, the vaginal contraction can cause pain in the rectum as well so just take it easy I'd say.
My other issue is that the skin around the anus is ugly, the oedema hasn't really flattened as I was told.
Also, on top of that the pelvic floor muscle around the anus lost its tone so basically doesn't open and close properly as before. It makes every day a living hell by the time I get the poo out and I always get leaking...sorry but that is what I'm experiencing. I tried Kegel but it just makes the muscle even tighter. I'd highly appreciate if you could share what kind of exercises you did to overcome spasm.
Honestly, I lost my confidence as a woman and I'm just 38. I don't think I ever want any man to see my ass...
Though maybe I am just an exception as the surgeon made some surgical mistakes when cut out too much and left me with permanent pain above my tailbone.
All in all, answering your Qs, recovery is long but the surgery did not affect my ability to gain vaginal orgasm.
julie50045 emma04392
Posted
i dont know why the mod deleted my reply.
pelvic floor therapy
thats what you should look into
emma90284 julie50045
Posted
Hi! I know this was posted a while ago and don't know if you'll reply, but I just found this support group and would immensely appreciate an update! I'm 39f, had 4 banding experiences, the last one was HORRIBLY painful (still crying and it's been 2 days). Doc told me to come back in two weeks and if things haven't improved, he'll schedule surgery... which scares me like crazy, having over-researched it and knowing there's a high percentage of all over HELL. I'm married with 2 kids. Haven't had sex in 5 months because of painful flair ups and starting to wonder if I'll ever be able to have non-painful and satisfying sex again... Would love to know how everything turned out with your situation! Thank you!
emma04392 emma90284
Posted
Hi,
Banding should be less painful and quicker recovery than the traditional surgery.
I know, it's not nice but having had both, I'd say I wish I had had a second thought before agreeing on the traditional hemorrhoidectomy (when the hems are cut out).
It's been more than 2 years but I am not okay. Every BM causes pain in my rectum regardless of soft or hard feces. Even though I have been doing pelvic floor exercises, the anus muscles do not function properly and the wall of the rectum is so damaged due to the cuts that I need to use enema if I want a proper emptying. Yep, I'm one of the unlucky one and learning to live with it and the leaking as well.
Sex, yes, I could have but honestly, it's nowhere like before. More sensitive on movements and not in a positive way plus constantly afraid of the smell and leaking.
Not mentioning how ugly the skin tags look like...
However, it depends on your suffering from the hems. Check all the possible surgical methods available and talk about it with your husband as well about what are the possible outcomes.
Good luck!
emma90284 julie50045
Posted
Thank you for the reply!
After reading obsessively everything I could find about this situation, I'm more and more convinced I should not get traditional hemorrhoidectomy. have a very low tolerance for pain. I didn't have issues the first 3 bandings, and realise now that the 4th one I had a few days ago was not done properly, hence the horrible pain that came from it. Ive been bleeding ever since I left the doctor's office, not much, but enough for me to be concerned. Yesterday, less than 48 hrs after the banding, the freaking elastics were in my underwear!!! No way is that supposed to happen... but I'm thinking this last bad experience would probably still be less painful than full blown surgery, and a lot less risky. I'm so scared it might not make things better, could possibly make things worse and on top of that, EVERYONE says the pain after surgery is THE WORST, so possibly I'd suffer for nothing. My situation is pretty nasty and painful, but I sorta know how to deal with it and I'd rather deal with what I know than end up with a worse after surgery . I hope you're able to manage, and hopefully you still have good days... your story really helped me make up my mind. Thank you!
sarah60737 julie50045
Posted
Hi Julie- I'd love to hear an update on this. I saw the same study & now I'm freaking out even more than before!
sara68389 julie50045
Posted
hi,
i had halo surgery 5 weeks ago and prolapsed also which i self fixed!!!
but now am having no feelings internally during sex it feels numb , has anyone else had this problem?
will sensitivity come back?