Fighting the depression
Posted , 3 users are following.
I have been on 50 mg of Zoloft for 4 weeks now. RIght now, every time I take a pill, I try to convince myself that things will be better tomorrow. It has to get better eventually. I keep telling myself every day that it’s going to get better, and sometimes I even believe myself. Other times though, I feel like I’ll never come out of this hole. It’s not just a chemical imbalance. I hate my job, being there is detrimental to my mental health. I’m trying to find something else, a “real job” if you will. I’m 32 years old and have an 8 year old daughter. I will hopefully be graduating with a bachelors in interdisciplinary studies this December. And I am realizing for the first time since going back to school that there isn’t going to be some magical amazing job waiting for me. I have no skills. My depression and anxiety has kept me from doing so much. I had a miscarriage this year in January and that is a constant source of depression and guilt. I’m supposed to be getting ready to have my baby now, instead I’m worrying about if I can afford to live in my home for the next month. I can feel my fiancé pulling further and further away into his own depression. He doesn’t want treatment of any kind, and I feel helpless in that situation. I feel helpless all around. All around me I am watching my friends get more and more successful, meanwhile I’m on welfare and food stamps. I feel like I’ve failed in life, and that I’m going to continue to fail in life. The only thing that truly makes me happy is being a mother and I couldn’t even give this second baby life. What is so wrong with me, that I deserve to suffer so much? I know people everywhere are going through so much worse, it’s just hard to focus on that. I’m in therapy. I’m on medication. I’m trying to get better. But it feels like every time I take a few steps forward I get knocked back a mile.
1 like, 4 replies
angelo88861 darla_22432
Posted
It will take a while for the Zoloft to work and the doctor will probably will increase the doses as needed. I went through the same thing and eventually I am doing better. Don't give up there is hope and also praying will help you get throught
Guest darla_22432
Posted
My wife is on Zoloft and it took her about 6-8 weeks to start feeling better. Outside of the medication you've been through a lot, Darla. Miscarriages are rough for both partners, but you'll get over the grief in time. My wife and I had several and ended up not having any kids (we're in our 60's now).
I'm sure your degree will help you get a good job, so relax about that. And don't compare yourself to other folks, that's not healthy. Nobody has it all together, trust me. We all struggle in some way.
darla_22432 Guest
Posted
Guest darla_22432
Posted
Sleeping is never a waste of time! It's your body's way of telling you you need to take it easier. When we're feeling stress and anxiety we need more sleep, not less. Your body needs all the rest it can get to deal with those challenges.
I'm going to sleep at 10:00 pm tonight, because my usual midnight bed time just isn't sufficient for the challenges I'm experiencing lately. I was really dragging at work today. Don't want to feel the same way tomorrow. Hope you feel better soon, Darla!