First attack in over a week
Posted , 4 users are following.
Hey guys. I haven't posted in a while because I have been dealing with calming myself when I have anxiety. I haven't had an attack in over a week. I've completely changed my eating habits, changed my caffeine intake, started taking fish oil with omega 3 and eating breakfast lunch and dinner. Over all I have been feeling wonderful. More energy. Sleeping better. Citalopram is working wonders on me. That brings me to today:
I work 5 days a week and on Saturdays I have been helping my father in law with his business. Today I got very hot, Oklahoma weather, really hot outside and we were directly in the sun. We had customers who were being very.....annoying (usually I can handle it) however, today I broke down. I felt like my father in law was angry at me for not being able to handle it. He was making small comments, now that I'm okay and thinking clearly, he was trying to be funny. However, I couldn't handle the heat, jokes, customers, and tiredness. I had to walk away because I got so upset (still don't know why) but I basically had to leave because I couldn't handle it. He doesn't know about my anxiety and panic disorder. I've always handled this job perfectly until today and I just got completely overwhelmed. I feel embarrassed now and need some reassurance.i didn't have my normal breakfast of hardboiled eggs and oatmeal. I also ate pretty badly at my nieces 2nd grade football game (she's a cheerleader) and I think overall I just tried to do too much in one day and when I got to this job today, I was already on edge. I just don't want to feel embarrassed or guilty for having a panic attack in public like that. I've never had one at a public event. And I worry how people view me. Other than today, I've been doing great by meditating, reading, cooking new recipes, not laying in bed after work all day, just overall feeling great. Is it possible I had a panic attack because of the heat and the overwhelming feelings? I just don't want the attacks to come back like they were. I was having them daily. Just looking for happy thoughts and inspiration
thank you! Sorry for the novel. Lol.
0 likes, 13 replies
jmcg2014 Ashley2016
Posted
Anxiety can take a long time to handle. Whilst eating well can help you feel better psychically, theres no evidence to suggest it will do anything for anxiety unfortunately. Citalopram and similar meds can help short term effects of anxiety,but not always and they are best used while some kind of therapy is happening. Imagine you had a broken leg, painkillers would help the pain but wouldn't help it heal, you'd need to have it properly treated for it to heal permanently. Meds, eating healthy etc are the smallest part of anxiety treatment, I think you may be expecting too much from too little
Ashley2016 jmcg2014
Posted
Hey there. I know you're right. I just woke up feeling regret and shame from having that attack yesterday. It was at a football thing for kids and we were serving snocones and between the comments and the table full of cheerleaders screaming about the snocones, I lost my cool and had an attack. When I talked to his step mom and told her the problem, I basically put all the blame on his dad because at the time I thought he was the trigger. I'm shaking right now and really cold because I feel the need to apologize. It was a mixture of things. She made me feel dumb in a way. At the time I thought she was attacking me and my anxiety. Now I know it wasn't the sarcasm from his dad. It was also the overwhelming social attack. I don't have insurance and don't know the first part about therapy. I called a place that my doctor referred me to telling me I need an evaluation, maybe she thinks I'm crazy, don't know, but they wouldn't call back and the lady that transferred me to the answering service told me to go to an ER.... messed up. So I'm going to look into therapy because it definitely would help along with the citalopram. Thank you for responding!!!
elizabeth20640 Ashley2016
Posted
It was a lovely novel if only you were not suffering 😄
I think something maybe that you thought of, like a flash back brought it on, but they will become less and less, and as you said you were feeling great so concentrate on this, and you probably were doing ttoo much, take time out to relax every day, the more you learn to relax and it becomes repetition, then relaxing becomes automatic
Don't worry about what people think they will have forgotten all about it take care
Ashley2016 elizabeth20640
Posted
Thank you Elizabeth. I do have a problem when it comes to caring so much about how people view me. Even though they probably forgot about it and didn't give it another thought, I am so focused on how it might have appeared that I'm freaking out a little bit and shaking. I really thought the attacks were over. I feel ashamed and embarrassed and I just want to cry because of the way I handled the situation. I'm going to meditate in a few minutes. Hopefully that will help.
helen20833 Ashley2016
Posted
Ashley, don't feel ashamed! feel proud you are doing all you can to help yourself and how well you are doing
Much of what we feel is not visible to anyone else, by the way. Those with AD are expert at hiding it.
Sometimes AD is hard to handle. It was hot, the customers were adding to your stress, you didn't want to disappoint your uncle. All that anxiety piling on top of anxiety. That's why you found it hard to cope
I'm sorry you cannot feel confident enough to confide in your Uncle of the problem you are having with Anxiety Disorder. I'm sure he would understand. Sometimes it is an enormous relief to confess as opposed to trying to conceal it, thus causing more and more tension
There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in suffering from AD. It is an illness, same as any illness, and one of the most common in human beings. So keeping up a pretence before others will only serve to make you feel worse. Let it out and let it go. No one who cares about you will judge you
LisaLisa one of the most valuable Forum members, directed me towards sensory overload. You should look into it. It's a fascinating subject and one I didn't realize I suffered from until she pointed it out to me. Now I can control my anxiety by avoiding sensory triggers
Hugs Helen
Ashley2016 helen20833
Posted
Hey there Helen. I've just not been comfortable enough to tell my father in law about it. I've only told my close friends, dad, husband and boss. Sensory overload? I'm definitely going to look into that. LisaLisa has given me amazing advice plenty of times! I'm not ashamed of my anxiety, I'm nervous of how people will view me if I tell them. Mostly because a lot of people don't have it, have never had panic attacks etc and I don't want them to treat me differently...I doubt they would but I really thought I'd be okay yesterday. I've worked it in the past but something was different yesterday. Not sure what. Thank you for the advice and I will look into Sensory overload!
helen20833 Ashley2016
Posted
Hi Ashley,
I don't know if this will help but here goes:
I drink at least four cups of chamomile tea a day. It's not that I'm into herbal remedies as such but, this one is very calming and I find, as someone with AD, that I constantly need to keep hydrated. It's as though anxiety sucks all the moisture out of me
I soon tire. Stress is draining so I keep the bedroom calm, low lights if I read before sleeping, no tv, no loud music. The body replenishes itself during the night so we need to be calm and relaxed beforehand to aid restful sleep, no late suppers either
Any kind of heat ignites my AD. I'm careful about the amount of time spent outside on hot days. I know this is as times unavoidable. If necessary wear a baseball cap, shades and drink plenty of fluids
Bright lights, fluorescent/strobe and flashing lights induce anxiety too. If you look into sensory overload you will find that, in simplistic terms, the brain is like a computer. Therefore too much info coming at it from all sides and the brain cannot process it and then we have the overload, as one would with a computer
We literally have to coddle ourselves as though we were fragile. We're not but taking care of ourselves has to be our number one priority
I think you answered your own question about what was different yesterday, Ashley. It was hot, you were perhaps drained of energy, you wanted to do a good job for your father-in-law ( that's stressful right there) and when he teased you, you mistook it for crticism ( more stress) Added to this the customers were a major pain in the ass. Result? Meltdown. And no wonder
AD or not we are human beings. AD or not we all get bent out of shape now and then. It happened. Let it go Ashley. Looking back at it is like picking a scab. It will never heal. It will just upset and disappoint you, as setbacks do to all of us. So yes, put it behind you
I understand you don't want to be viewed as different. No one does. And AD, to those who are not sufferers, is baffling. Personally I think you're doing just great! Don't allow a minor setback to throw you. We all have them, usually when we have pushed ourselves too hard. and our defences are low
Onwards and upwards, Ashley!
Hugs Helen
Ashley2016 helen20833
Posted
Hey Helen! Thank you for your words. It was a mixture of things. You were 100% correct when you said meltdown. It was. Stressful, hot, draining and annoying. Lol. I am not letting it bother me anymore. Not going to dread on it because it will stress me out if I do so.
Today my husband and I have been relaxing and watching TV. My stress level is at 0 so it feels pretty nice to be completely relaxed today. I'm going to read into Sensory overload. Because that sounds about right. Thank you for all your help!
lisalisa67 Ashley2016
Posted
Panic attacks and here and there will happen. Thats okay. Dont over think them. Heat can trigger them. You are human so emotions can get the best of you every now and then. Medicine do not remove emotions completely nor do you want them too. Usually no one can "see" a panic attack. So dont worry about that.
Just get back in to your healthy ways and keep doing that and dont beat yourself up over setbacks. Any habit takes a long time to break. Its okay.
Stop thinking about what you "dont want" that is a huge trap of negative thinking. Think about what you "do" want.
You are doing well.
Ashley2016 lisalisa67
Posted
Hey lisa! Thank you for your help. I think I just got overheated and overwhelmed. My pulse hit 130 yesterday so it was a combination of the environment and my anxiety. It wax rough. But I'm doing much better today. Just exhausted. Lol I need to give myself a break and get back to being me.
phil76209 Ashley2016
Posted
Hi Ashley,
Yes was thinking about you other day.
Glad uve made so many pos changes. I'm impressed cos at the mo I'm eating crap. Anyway.
I really think too much heat puts a lot of stress on the body and mind .I don't think ur going back to how u were before.
Also u rationalised your step dads comments and saw the compassion in them afterwards. That's so important. But at the time u get defensive prob not helped by the annoying customers and excessive heat.
One of my prob is how I take others comments. I dislike people real quickly. I really don't give others much leeway.
But yeah once again it's a blip but sounds like ur learning more bout urself.
So pleased for u. Here's looking at u kid.
😊
Ashley2016 phil76209
Posted
Hey Phil!! Yeah I think you're right. I was already annoyed and hot then the comments just set me off. And the screaming kids. Lol. I take everything to heart when someone says something to me, negative and positive. So if someone says something jokingly and it's rude then I take it very personally and straight to heart. I am working on that. Because that would really help me. Thank you for your nice words and for remembering me! You've been a big help to me.
phil76209 Ashley2016
Posted
Your very welcome.
Always here to help.
😃