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First herpes outbreak. Did she cheat?

Posted , 2 users are following.

thunderball
thunderball

Just tested positive for genital herpes, yet negative for herpes antibodies which means it's my first infection. I have been with the same girl for 1.5 years and we have sex frequently (no condom, she takes the pill). She swears she's never had herpes and has not cheated.

I know she might not have known she had the virus, but is it really possible that we've been having sex for 1.5 years and I've never caught it from her until now? Is it possible that, because she's had no outbreaks, I could just be getting it from her now? Or does it look like...she's been with somebody else recently?

She has also just had the antibody test and the results come in a few days. What will these tell me?

Thanks so much. Our relationship hangs in the balance!

DS .

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • ann26345
    ann26345 thunderball

    Posted

    i have no answer to your question unfortunately but i am in the same situation.

    ive been in a relationship for more than one year, just had my first outbreak but no antibodies. my bf says he never had cold sores or anything...

    apparently it is a tricky virus that might stay dormant even for years so we might have caught it from someone else in the past but i think we would have antibodies regardless?

    i dont really know, but it sucks.

    • thunderball
      thunderball ann26345

      Posted

      It sure does suck. I feel your pain. So hard to know what to do. I read one study that said that when one person was infected in a couple, only 10% actually infected the other over the course of a year (so that's promising). But most doctor's I've asked have said that you would probably get it much sooner, like not after a year or two. Maybe your BF would also agree to an antibody test? Though not sure what that would tell you.

  • L3aPsy
    L3aPsy thunderball

    Posted

    You're right, somebody can have HSV2 for years & never know they have herpes until they get their first outbreaks, which like i mentioned can occur years later- like in my case.

    I ended up cheating on my bf in 2018 & when we had sex - within a week later he started to get his first outbreak, but I had no reaction. We got tested together & by that time he got his sores tested , I only did the blood test because i had no physical sores.

    His results came back positive & mine came out negative. I haven't yet taken any recent tests since to recheck my status but in 3 years - when my ex first tested positve - I have only had 2 outbreaks , which I hear HSV2 is suppose to be the worse, thankfully not in my case because i forget i have it. Unfortunately my relationship just ended with 2 month ago. I felt as he could never forgive me & would constantly get sad to the point i think he eventually resented me i think. I hope you guys can managae & stay strong.

    Im curious to ask, but does she have any active sore right now?

    They can still test for new infection or if its an old existing one when they test the antibodies.

    However still tricky to find out exactly when one got it. /:

    • thunderball
      thunderball L3aPsy

      Posted

      Thanks so much for your story and information. She has not active sores at all.

      So it is possible that she had the virus from long ago but only gave it to me recently, after we've been together for 1.5 years?

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