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First post,so low and in pain....

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danworg
danworg

Hello,this is my first post,although i have been looking around for a while.

I have suffered with osteo and dgenerative bone disease now for a long while,my first operation was over 10 years ago,replaced bones in left wrist and put a plate from lower arm through to fingers.After that i started going down hill physically,was a window cleaner but as the years went past with more joints and muscles becoming affected i had to give up and up until recently was doing a small amount of work making computer generated signs,again this is finishing.

I am on so many meds,with morphine patches being the worst,that was until the doc prescribed me Duloxetine for pain and depression.

However last week i tried to hang myself,i am so ashamed that i did this,and my son luckily found me although i wasn't going through with it.I am so sorry to my son,words will never be enough for that.

I was seen by the doctor the next day? as an emergency.However my old doctor,unknowingly to me,had left the practise the week before.He knew me well,as over the years he had been there for me,so i was seen by the new doctor.

Luckily my wife came in with me,as i became very angry and distressed at him.

After explaining what i had gone through the day before and looking at my medical records he suggested that "i get a hobby to take my mind off of things"....

I am so angry at this,and unfortunatley it has put me in a very low mood.He has refereed me to the mental health,but said "not to hold my breath at seeing them anytime soon"

Does this man think i am joking,or does he consider me not worth bothering about,because that is how i feel about my life it is a joke and not worth it......

Rant over..sorry  

0 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • lee34449
    lee34449 danworg

    Posted

    I assume your name is Dan? Ok Dan. Let me start by saying your reaction to what has happened to you is prefectly normal. I had the same sort of difficulty to overcome when I had to give up work in my mid-late 40's. We had no children, but mt wife worked full time & it did make me feel worthless for a while.A doctor at the hospital told me I was being selfish. My wife never uttered a word of complaint about her role as breadwinner, never held it against me at all. I was misserable & depressed when I was ill, but also misserable & depressed when I had my good spells, as I thought I should be working. In the back of my mind I knew I couldn't work, so I did my best to be upbeat when I could, for her sake. It was very, very difficult. I was on all kinds of meds, 3 lots of painkillers on a daily basis, with Oramorph as a back up. I have Osteo all over my body, fibro which attacks the muscles Gout which is the most painful & cervical & lumbar spondy. I tried going for walks but didn't get far, I just vegetated for a long time, then during a good phase, I had some work done on the house, including decorating the living room. I wanted some large prints to hang but couldn't find any I liked. My wife suggested I did my own! So a week later we went shopping & I bought a digital camera, a DSLR. I had previously never had any interest in photography, never even owned a stills camera. Within a few weeks I was hooked. That was over 4yrs ago & I can tell you that your doctors advice to get yourself a hobby is bloody good advice mate. It does help take my mind of the almost constant pain. go out in the car to areas that have wildlife & with the aid of crutches I set myself up a bit like an angler. IT HAS COMPLETELY CHANGED MY LIFE. Even if I can't go out, I go into the garden with my camera, or stay indoors & stage things to shoot with a macro lens. I will say again. before this, I had absolutely NO interest whatsoever in photography, NONE. So I will echo your doctor, GET YOUSELF A HOBBY. My body is getting worse, but I won't let that get in the way of my photography. It may be something diferent for you, but find something, especially something that doesn't rely too much on the weather.

    Sorry for the length of this reply, Dan. it could be the best advice you get. Chin up friend, there's always a way. Lee.

  • patricia44773
    patricia44773 danworg

    Posted

    Good grief....what sort of doctor would tell you to get a hobby when you are this low?

    I am absolutely disgusted.  You have every right to rant.

    I am so sorry, I don't know what else to say, I am just so shocked.

    You will get good advice here (thankfully better than your doctor's advice), so keep posting and I wish you the very best.  I am so sorry you are suffering as you are, I wish I could wave a magic wand and take it all away.  Life is so unfair.

    Pat

    • lee34449
      lee34449 patricia44773

      Posted

      Ok Pat, I can see your point, but in tandem with the right medication a hobby IS agood idea. I would, of course, hope that it wasn't the ONLY thing he said to him, but after a while, there si only so much a doctor can do. I have coped with severe crippling pain for over 25yrs & have been on the edge of suicide on a couple of occasions, so I am not unsympathetic with Dans situation. However, if the meds aren't working, get them changed, or dosage altered, indeed change your doctor if you are not happy with him/her. Let me just say I am not one of these 'mind over matter' people, far from it, but I have learned over the years that being pro-active helps the situation, doesn't take away the pain, but it helps.
    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 lee34449

      Posted

      Sorry, Lee.....I see your point too.  I just felt the doctor was suggesting something inappropriate for someone feeling so low.  I didn't mean to undermine your brilliant advice.

      Sorry,

      Pat.

    • lee34449
      lee34449 patricia44773

      Posted

      Hi Pat, I wouldn't call my advice "brillinat" by any stretch, I was just trying to tell him that it worked for me, without doubt. In the first stages of my troubles, I wasn't given any alternative to physio therapy & other types of "therapy" to go along with all the medication I was taking. I had nothing to occupy my mind with that had good thoughts. I usually am on the computer here on the 3 other forums I am on, 1 being a photography forum. I can't sleep more than a couple of hours at a time max, so I take Pain killers & the time flies when I am occuplying my mind till they kick in, then I try & get some sleep. It's a queer life, but I cope. Lee.
    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 lee34449

      Posted

      You have my complete admiration.  You are very brave.  I am fortunate in that I do not suffer physical pain...only mental pain....so I perhaps don't understand the problem and should not have joined in the discussion.  Again, I apologise.  I had no right to comment.

      Pat.

    • lee34449
      lee34449 patricia44773

      Posted

      Pat. Please don't misinterpret my replies to you as any kind of "reproval" as a depression sufferer myself [yes, I have the 'full set' lol] I am sure Dan will welcome anything you have to say. My depression came on because I couldn't cope with life & being so helpless. I am still on anti-depressants & will be for the rest of my life, probably. As long as I can see that bright ray of sunshine that my hobby gives me, I am sure I will get by. Please continue to give any advice, encouragement you can. We are all in this together, you know!
    • peter2824
      peter2824 patricia44773

      Posted

      Hello patricia, I am sorry patricia but people with severe physical pain and mental pain need a distraction to help them cope with the pain and help reshape the thoughts that manages there pain. It is exactly the same physical and mental pain but treated in different ways. Physical pain with analgesia and distraction and mental pain with talking therapies and distraction. Trust me paticia you need to look at the world from a different angle and try not to be so pessimistic. You need to start a hobby, that way you might also be distracted from your well ingrained mental health problems. I await your reply with broad and very knowledgable shoulders. Best regards Peter.
    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 peter2824

      Posted

      Sorry to shatter your illusions, Peter, but I am a naturally optomistic person and I have so many hobbies that there aren't enough hours in the day for me.  I have clinical depression...it raises its ugly head even when I am rushed off my feet and totally absorbed.

      I was responding to Dan's anger and his dismay at the way his doctor treated him when he had just told him how serious the situation was.  I have nothing against distraction techniques....in the right place.

      Pat.

  • danworg
    danworg

    Posted

    Thankyou for all taking the time to answer.

    What disturbs me and made me angry about this doctors response was firstly he has never dealt with me on a one to one basis,so how would he know what my life consisted of,and secondly i find it hard to believe that a man of 50 years old in my position (physically and mentally) would be fobbed off in the manner that happened.

    His other derisory comment was "if you lived in buckingham palace and sat there doing nothing for a week you would also get bored there"?????

    I never mentioned,or my wife,boredom at all,so this GP obviously only relates depression and suicidal tendacies with boredom and lack of personal time activities.Sorry but even in my current state of mind i tend to think that maybe there maybe more to it all than living in buckingham palace and building dollshouses (not that there is anything wrong with building dollshouses).

    I will be looking for another GP,i am so disappointed my last one has moved out of the area,he got to know me over the years and that helped,but now i feel so alone and scared that i will have to go through it all again,on top of which i have another op due for the right basal thumb joint and then my right knee.Sorry i just don't know which way to turn at the moment.

      

    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 danworg

      Posted

      I wish you luck in your search for a new GP, I am sure you will find someone more understanding.

      Sorry to hear that you have more surgery pending, I hope it all goes well.  I wish I could help more, try to keep your chin up.

      Pat xxx

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