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First time on 20mg Citalopram...Why Pills?

Posted , 2 users are following.

AmberR
AmberR

My whole life has been one massive hurdle after the other. I've seen psychologists etc, they made things worse. I self harmed and all i've thought is negatively.

i've been so good at hiding my emotions, even from my loved ones. Last night was my final straw. i cut myself deeper than i ever have before.

i'm not coping at work and today i got sent home from work and im not alowed back until i've seen their occupational health team.

I've never been put on Antidepressants before. But i really can't understand how a pill is suppose to help! i feel like nothing will. i eat till i puke, i cry till i sleep. i'm lost at the moment i just need help

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • julie21804
    julie21804 AmberR

    Posted

    Hey amber please please try the pills they will help you feel better at first you will prob get side affects bit it's worth it . I am on 20mg too and have been for 3 years same as you train wreck of a life for long time I hid it too not a good idea !! Try to talk to loved ones and whoever else offers you help it does help even though you think you are totally nuts and no one will ever understand you'll be surprised it's no miracle cure but if people know at least can understand . I did not sleep did not eat couldn't see the point in carrying on my head hurt I cried constantly sent my husband nuts he had go hi see councillor ! It's strange what brings you round and different for everyone mine was my husband when he started to suffer because of me I took pills n they do help calm you and help you sleep which is a biggy n the harming yourself is probably because your frustrated with yourself so try to get help got you let me know how you get on please babe x I did self harm I not sayin that's the reason you do it but mine was frustration for many years I hated myself? 
  • julie21804
    julie21804 AmberR

    Posted

    How you today amber?? X
    • AmberR
      AmberR julie21804

      Posted

      Oops pressed send by accident.  

      Yesterday, I went to see the work Dr who has signed me off for 3 weeks as unfit to work.  I then tried to cheer myself up by feeding ducks and geese but just started crying for no reason.  My leg isn't heeling,  it keeps opening up and the steristrips aren't holding it together.  

      I'm taking my pills but don't feel any different what so ever,  no side effects,  just nothing......  

    • julie21804
      julie21804 AmberR

      Posted

      Hey keep strong keep taking them and keep doing things like feeding ducks n geese I know prob feels like they don't even exist but persist because your head needs to get right took me six months off work thought I would lose my job which of course gave me summit else to stress about !! No one can get your head right only you I found when tablets started to work it was easier to stop concentrating on me n my feeling which helped communication with other ppl more and help me to calm down and actually see life without thinking things through to the extent of not doing them cos so tired of thinking of them if makes sense sense of humour helps I tell ppl I on happy tablets n nutty as fruit cake n they laugh !! So much s**te in your life makes you hate yourself n it's you you gotta pamper spend time on relax read , walk keep walkin even when you don't want too!!!have bath use bath balls breathe think about what's important . Keep in touch tell me how your doing don't hide from it tell ppl how you feel if you feel like you want to harm yourself tell someone and then csn find out why. Are you seeing councillor bab? X
    • AmberR
      AmberR julie21804

      Posted

      Not yet.  Work have organised one for me that I'll have to see.  

      I had to go to the doctors today because my leg isn't heeling,  they've put in 10 stitches.  

      I find talking to people so hard.  Even talking to loved ones.  I've never like to show emotion when I feel defeated.  Ugh..  I'm starting to feel sick,  I'm not sure if it's to do with the abnormal British summer or the pills.  I'm trying to drink lots of water.

      BTW,  thankyou for your very detailed responses.  I'm off to bird world today!  There's a conservation evening.  I know for sure that'll take my mind off things! X  

    • julie21804
      julie21804 AmberR

      Posted

      Stitches should help ? X hope you enjoyed bird world love birds and see councillor will help you she will let you talk n let out all those emotions and yes talking is the hardest of all ,I shut off too part of illness try to let them know you not good even if short my saying is,"my head not right" x stay strong xx
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