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I am now 21 but have developed a huge fear of going blind in the future probably in my 30s or 40s or even sooner. During my younger days probably 13 14 years old I used to sneak my iphone in bed and play games before i go to bed. I used my phone in pitch dark as I didn't want my parents to catch me.
So now here I am, worried sick everyday and have been living in regrets since. This sucks because I have no one to blame but myself if I go blind one day due to glaucoma or macular degeneration.
All I do is beat myself up and overthink and think till i can't sleep or function properly even though my eyesight is fine right now. I've been to the ophthalmologist at least 3 times in the past few years just to reassure my fears, but still I can't help but to think that I'll go blind soon, maybe in a few years and GOD it takes the life out of me now. I want to gain my motivation back, I want to fight this and enjoy life at the moment but I can't as I am obsessed with this thought and haunted with deep regrets every single second.
I think I am going mad and I can't deal with this anymore.
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