Flashbacks started again, now what?

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Can you help? I am absolutely terrified - how do i tell a male counsellor that i have flashbacks and nightmares about assault? I don't know how i even broach the subject, it's made feel quite sick! Will he understand?

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  • Posted

    Hi, Are you able to switch to a Female therapist? I found it much easier to talk with a female therapist Re: assault.. if this is not possible perhaps you can write it and give it to him or try not facing him. I hope this helps... hugs to you !

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  • Posted

    Hi Sam,

    Youve helped me on my thread so i will help you.

    You've already done something really difficult on here and told everyone your pain. When you admit or start talking about something that is hurting you it is extremley difficult. And more often than not when its finally "out there" it can make it even more real.

    If it helps at all, your male counsellor will have heard everything before. I know that sounds like im dismissing any pain which im not. But try to remember, Any pain, any shame and fear that you have is not the counsellors. It is yours. He will not judge you, he will not feel the same things you are and he WILL be able to help you, and he will want to help you. 90% of the time counsellors have either experiences mental health issues themselves or have had someone close effected.

    What happened to you was terrible. You need help to overcome it, You deserve help. And you deserve to feel good. I will keep you posted with my treatment and if you ever need anything please feel free to contact me.

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    • Posted

      Hi health 1001, i don't know what to say! You are exceptionally kind, these websites are more useful than anything, feel free to contact me if you want to. I am giving this counsellor a go because i feel it's possibly my last chance. I am getting really fed up of explaining things over and over, after this that's it, i'm done but i've not heard from him, he wad ill so that's that! Wish me luck, i'll see if he contacts.

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    • Posted

      Hi Sam,

      This counsellor is not the last chance, and he is not the last hope.

      Here's one of my favourite quotes of all time:

      "Everything will be ok in the end, and if its not ok. Its not the end"

      Get to your GP. Demand (politley) to be referred to an EMDR provider who is female if possible. The NHS are stretched but it is your RIGHT to get the help. This is not your fault, and they are there to fix you.

      It is hard work, but you are worth it. You're sometimes going to run into difficulties, sometimes you're going to have to ask for help on many many occasions. Sometimes you're not going to get the help u need. Sometimes the people who are supposed to help you don't react the way you want. Sometimes you may be refused. And this is awful especially when you're are in a place where you are overly sensitive and vunerable. You just need to keep push back and take the setbacks and push Harder and Harder and harder. And eventually it will become easier.

      Sam, Im going to say to you, Promise you that you CAN get back to 100%. You CAN be happy. You CAN leave this behind you.

      Any Pain can be removed completley... Your brain IS capable of dealing with the pain, it just needs help at the minute.

      Any feelings of Guilt, Shame, Fear Worry... Can be changed into the truth which is that:

      You ARE a Survivor,

      You ARE Brave,

      You ARE Strong,

      you WILL beat this.

      I want you to say these positive statements to yourself at least 50 times a day. Out loud or in your head.

      Also When you are walking anywhere think of the rhythm of your feet. Left right left right left right. With every step say one of the words.

      I - AM - A - SURVIVOR

      I - AM - BRAVE etc etc

      I promise this will help. But it wont be a quick fix. You have all the power in you to get this resolved and put to bed. I believe in you!

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    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply i am really reluctant to see psychiatry because we've been wanting to adopt for over 7 years, any mention of this and my attempt to even begin to adopt is gone! I will keep an eye on this counsellor i have sent him a letter and told him if he can't do it i give up! Let's see what he suggests? He promised to help, let's see if he does and if he doesn't respond i have my answer. I have already spoken to an assault support charity who WILL help me. I will keep you up to date with what happens. I am fed up going from pillar to post and i have told him so. If he doesn't respond i will see this other place. Thanks for caring.

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  • Posted

    Hi people, please help this problem has just got much worse. Can you help me more. After waiting all week for my counsellor to contact nothing! I have checked about being assessed about a new place who can help me they are certain they can. Do i now swap and go to these new people. I am really very fed up with my old counsellor but apparently he's not being well. Do i see if he rings or just be assessed at this new place regardless? I don't want to jump from one place to another if i can avoid it. I am stuck and meanwhile this still really hurts.

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