Floaters, other disturbances and anxious about it

So here's my story.

At the age of 3 I had a retinal detachment in my left eye of undetermined cause. It was not traumatic and doctors could never tell what caused this extremely rare event. As a result I lost all sight in that eye.

I am now 39 and my right eye has always been fine. At the age of 12 I started wearing glasses for nearsightedness, although not too extreme. I am now -4 and have been for around 10 years, which is good. At the age of 23/24 I started seeing some floaters which freaked me out at first but learned to ignore them for the past 15 years. Life was normal, life was good.

In September I started noticing an increase in my floaters. They havent stopped increasing to this day. I became really aware of them - too many to ignore in all kinds of light, even in dark rooms, although less noticeably - and I also developed other symptoms. I dont know if I simply became too much aware of my vision as I became so worried, but other symptoms I started having: flickering vision in dim light or when waking up or going from light to dark; millions of dots flying everywhere (not floaters) in any bright surface; a gray "vortex" in the sky and plain surfaces when it's too sunny out; seeing dots on and off in my peripheral vision; a blur around bright lights and general light sensitivity.

This coincided with me being pregnant but noone seems to think there is a connection.

I became so scared and paranoid of going blind that I have seen lots of different retinal specialists since. They all say everything looks fine and cant find an explanation for my symptoms, yet I know I am not imagining them and they are very severe to the point I dont want to leave the house. Only the last doctor told me my vitreous is very liquified but no detachment yet - which eventually will happen. All eye exams and retinography show a normal eye and a normal, strong retina that doesnt show any special signs of being prone to tears etc (which of course can never be ruled out). Doctors dont seem worried and told me to get my regular checks once a year, but I have been going often because I'm dead scared my "good eye" will also have a retinal detachment and even though they cant see nothing alarming, my symptoms are HORRIBLE.

I have been staying in a lot, first because I was always sick with pregnancy and then because the floaters and symptoms became unbearable. I know I need to live my life and give my brain a chance to adaptate etc etc but I have so many floaters it just doesnt seem possible - they are really extreme along with the rest.

I just cant stop worrying every day of my life that I am inevitably going blind. I cant face the day, I cant face the light. It feels like my life is over. I keep thinking 39 is too young to go through this and that it cant be a good sign. I have nightmares about my vitreous detaching leaving me with these awful symptoms and even worse, retina detaching too.

Oh, neurology check up came clean too.

I dont know what I'm looking for here, maybe just venting...I know I need to treat this anxiety but I am finding it so hard to live like this. I wonder if all the symptoms are a result of a condition noone can diagnose, or hyperawareness, or being home with reduced lights for too long...

Everyone loves sunny days and I truly dread them. I just wish I had my normal life back. I know all this is useless and I need to move on and accept and find a purpose bla bla bla...but I just cant.

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