For Tiny Tears

:shock: Just going cold turkey now. Sweating ,and p***sed off with the drunks hanging out in my street. I need sleep....did Spain win?

:oops: Did you see erm, :oops: :shock: my post to the lady with the bipolar. Poor woman, just could not help myself. I cant sleep, but its too late to take this pill. I just dont want anymore drugs.

Thank you for asking...but trying my own CBT methods, ( :lol: experiment on myself....for love nor money cant see it helping). Watched my partner drink 12 cans and thinking , Ha ha Ive / I am on the road to recovery. If this does not work (over the next few days and I find myself cracking, i will wean back on this stuff), So dont want to feel \"depersonalised\", and so dont want to put anymore pounds on.

On the other hand, I dont want to feel waves of self pity and amounts of uncontrollable anger...Oh god, now there playing loud music....Beccas stilll sleeping (sorry my 5 yr old, she always sneaks into my room and sleeps) Ive decide to knock it on the head myself, there must be another way out without drugs. Dont know think my doc and my CPN might be a bit angry, but I was sick on Friday, and its just put me off.

This is what I think.....When an alcoholic passes you in the street and you get that stench of alcohol, In(in my case red wine and :oops: garlic) and you think Yuck!!! Well, it does not suit me, Ill just sweat it out.

Hope your managing to do better, and sleep. Instead of wine Ill buy some books, and get ready for my application form when I return home.

Might be sweating and a lot of heartburn, but oddly feel happpier, even if partner keeps closing my door. i find it infuriating, that he should dare to come near the spear bedroom, and the cats in here. helll get stuck you ggrr!!! Anyway, one day soon , hopefully not toofar in the sitance, Il be back on track with somesort of career plan.

Hope you are coping yourself, and thought it kind you asked.

Okay, its now 1 10 am, i cant sleep and think nope, listen to the health professionals,. just hope I can get up for work in the morning. Oh ....nope...Ill have to take it before I crack again. Just all these thoughts spinning over and over. Punishing myself for having been ...oh nevermind. Must go Zzzzzzzzzzz.

Took pill, and slept like a baby. feeling a bit self conscious about the old weight gain, but even my boss said I was looking \"Great\" :lol: :shock:

Was a bit irritable until about 11 am this morning , then felt somewhat low. By about 12noon started to feel okay, kept busy and that helped. Sleep is certainly helping. Take car , I hope it persists. Hugs to you all, and hope you are all on the mend yourselves.

Okay, I now feel like I am loosing my marbles. Last night, though I slept I had what was that....weel, a very disturbing dream, the type that haunts you all day long. Then , everytime I started to do things, I kept loosing my focus and forgetting where I had put stuff...Has anyone else had this lack of memory.....so much? otherwise, i have to report, I am feeling a lot brighter, even :lol: :oops: Should I dare say it smarter with my coments, (regardless of the memory thing). Though have been getting sore tummies on and off all day, But not as anxious, apart from jumping out my skin when a motorcyclist skidded past.

Also getting a cold...no big deal :oops: :lol:

Ill probably feell rubbish in a minute for saying this. I am soooooo good today..

There is a hitch!......I cant stop eating. Trying to sticl to high fibre foods , but still not working. Even cut out tons of sugar.......and its still not working.....I have put more than haslf a stone on in 13 days, (gulp!).

Other than that, my mood is good, I was [b:17e7715115]very irritable this morning, I am sure I burst a few blood vessels, Used the old blackmail\" You better watch where and how you tread..(to my partner) ....or you shant becoming on holiday with us\". For the first time ever I just spoke my mind with out fearing the consequences, and it got through to him. For the first time in a lnog time, he told the kids off for dropping their stuff evcerywhere,,,even with \"Do what your mother has asked\" Weird huh??

Anyway, must dash, just thought Id let you knw that I am over the worst of my 13 months of feeling like......well you guys know.) Take care everyone, [/b:17e7715115]