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FREEDOM FROM ANXIETY

Posted , 15 users are following.

athol91131
athol91131

I have been on this forum many times in the past, distressed like the rest of you about being in this horrible state of anxiety. For me it has lasted over 30 years but now it has gone ! Completely! and I thought I would come back here and tell you how that happened and hopefully give you some hope. I saw many therapists and tried many 'cures' non of which worked. So here in a nutshell is what did work.

The first thing I had to realise what what the real problem was. I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder but all that tells you is that you are very scared (which I knew already). When you are in an Anxiety State your mind looks for danger, what is wrong, so first of all I had a lot of trips to A&E thinking I was having a heart attack or a brain tumour etc. When it was clear that I wasn't, I looked for what was wrong in ME. ie. I was going mad etc. I lost all confidence in myself and felt shame that I, a grown up rational adult, couldn't stop this awful feeling. Then I came to the first point of recovery. I wasn't afraid of any of these things , I was actually afraid of the feeling of fear. The shortness of breath, the heart hammering, sweats, not being able to think clearly etc. I'm sure you have your own experiences. The problem was the fear of fear. I just didn't want to feel the very uncomfortable sensations that anxiety produces in the body and that a better description of these sensation was actually nervous arousal.

This led to stage two in my recovery. I needed to 1) lower my nervous arousal and 2) learn to not fear the fear so much. This led me to begin meditating daily for 20 mins to calm the mind. This doesn't work instantly but after a few weeks you can start to feel the effect. Then I started to try to accept and allow the uncomfortable feelings in my body. There is quite a bit of stuff about this on the internet, especially from buddhist sources. I did this a bit at a time, sometimes successfully, sometimes not, but my intention was to make friends with my fear. I had always thought that it was a monster that was trying to destroy me and thought that I would die. But of course it isn't. It is your own body's defense mechanism, designed to protect you from danger, so it isn't likely that it is going to hurt you, is it? This took practice! and is very counter-intuitive. You naturally want to run away from fear, but this only makes it worse. Stay with it, nothing will happen to you, I can guarantee it. You will. of course, feel uncomfortable but the only way out is through. The more you resist it, the more it persists.

I always used to wake up in utter terror waiting for the terror to happen. One day I didn't and for three days it went away. Then it came back for two weeks and I was filled with despair but I still tried to accept and allow it . No resistance as best I could. Then it went away for a week, came back for a week and then it went away and NEVER came back. That was about four years ago. I have suffered no damage from the effects of this experience and in fact am now pretty happy. In case your wondering, I am normally a terrible coward and avoid conflict. I am not a 'strong and resilient' kind of person. I cry pretty easily. So if I can do it, so can you.

So, I know this is a bit long but if anything in this is useful to you please use it and I wish you all the very best with your life

6 likes, 17 replies

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  • annette93565
    annette93565 athol91131

    Edited

    lucky you to be freed from it congratulations, I've been struggling with constant head symptoms, dizziness, lightheaded, pressure, head never feels clear been going on over a year started out as bppv supposedly is what my Dr said but it's changed into this mess, my life is horrible I quit working and driving been thru many tests and doctors no real answers and never diagnosed with anxiety but a friend mentioned maybe it was, can you or anyone else relate the only break I get is when I sleep and spend majority of day crying and wishing it would stop. Any replies would be appreciated

  • tioung
    tioung athol91131

    Edited

    Thank you for sharing. My uncomfortable feelings include sweating, racing heart and most humiliating of all, blushing. When you say "accept and stay with your fear", it can only mean one thing to me. I will have to accept the blushing and stay/live with it instead of trying to fight it as I've done for most of the 58 years of my life. Hopefully, the more I stay with my fear, the lesser it will impact on me. Am I right?

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