Friend with an eating disorder

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I have a friend that has an eating disorder. I try to make her comfortable whenever we hangout. If we eat she always decides what we have so she's comfortable eating. I found out she gets upset whenever we have food when we hangout. I'm trying to be a good friend, but also make sure she doesn't get sick by not eating. What can I do to become a better friend for her? I want to help her do well, but she hates me in a way for promoting her wellness

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    She has to want to get better by herself, you can't do it for her,it won't work. If she has food issues then she should see a therapist to overcome it
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  • Posted

    It sounds like you're doing a terrific job by being so understanding, but as jmcg2014 has said, the decision to recover is one she can take.

    Practical tips are that to avoid the subjects of food, particularly when eating.

    You can also help by avoiding commenting on appearance as this has affects both ways. A person in recovery can be triggered by comments on how much better they are looking, and equally comments on appearance can inspire further deterioration.

    If friends are dieting, talking about diets, and calories perhaps should be saved for times you are not around her. Unfortunately these are part and parcel of life, but as I find on a daily basis (in the work cafe) they can be extremely upsetting.

    Remember that not every social occasion has to revolve around food. People with eating disorders increasingly cut themselves out of social situations because they want to avoid food. It is important to keep your friend your friend, so maybe think about social settings that don't always require food.

    Also, it's important to look after yourself. Beat, the national eating disorder charity have a helpline for carers and support network for carers and friends. It may be worth having a chat with them for some guidance too.

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    • Posted

      She actually went to treatment over the issue. She is in recovery right now. You really struck the nail on the head with what you said. I'm reading blogs, articles and researching topics trying to learn more about eating disorders. It seems this is something I will never be able to fully understand
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  • Posted

    I am also a person who has anorexia and hs just spent 2 months in a ED unit and many other hospital stays. I also have a good friend who says and does the wrong thing, but how is she to know unless is say. \just being there for your friend is the answer as its a very lonely isolating cruel disease. I cant eat in front of people ad restricted to a very small range of foods, eating with others feels like climbing a mountain and puts incredible pressure on the person.The other thing i hate is people who might say out of caring is "your looking well" this is translated your looking fat!!!!! You sound like a lovely friend just be there and dont create pressure, choose something other than eating as a shared experience, hope this helps
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  • Posted

    Hi just let her know you are there for her

    When ever she need you day or night if u can try to get her to agree to go doctor for

    Help I know how she feel

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  • Posted

    Hi I an suffeng with an eating disorder and sometimes i am horrible towards my friends even tho they are only trying to help sad deep down i know they are tryin to help me so i always 4give them so she probaly gets angry with you but then realises you are helping. Just stay by her and listen to her if she needs support. Dont pressure her into eating if she doesnt want to let her chose what to eat. Stay string for her she needs all the support she can get. it is really scary.
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    • Posted

      I appreciate everyone giving me advice on what I can do. I understand this is not something I can completely understand. I'm trying my best to do my own research so I can improve as a friend. Are there any blogs or better resources I can use to help myself? I have been searching the Internet for a long time reading articles, blogs and anything I can find.
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    • Posted

      Hi Andrew.

      Have you tried the beat (beating eating disorders) carers section on their website? I believe they also have support groups and definitely have dedicated forums and online chats. I'd give that a whirl as they are a greay resource.

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