Full recovery... and now back here
Posted , 3 users are following.
Hi everyone,
I was on Citalopram 20mg in 2019 and made what I considered to be a full recovery within about 5-6 months. It was amazing to have my life back again.
Last year, in Spring 2020 (a year after starting) I started weaning off the meds and by the autumn I was meds free. I was feeling really fantastic, and it felt like anxiety was old news. I stopped reading about it, coming to this website, and just went on with my life.
I have had a tough start to 2021, I lost someone very special to me and the pandemic, with its boredom, has got to me. And the anxiety started to creep back in. In no time, I am back to pretty much full anxiety again, where I feel awful all day long. I've admittedly been using alcohol to avoid the feelings, but that is just a short term plaster and I always end up feeling worse. Last night was the worst ever, I didn't get any sleep because of anxiety and this morning I "woke up", after dozing for an hour or so, with very intense adrenaline and panic raging through my body. Pretty hard to just shrug ones shoulders and accept that.
I am trying to apply the same approach as before, it is just energy, it cannot harm me, welcome it etc. It feels awful and to have to go through it again just feels so disheartening. But there is no other way.
I am also considering starting the meds again, to help me through. They worked last time with the approach of allowing it (or at least I think I did), they surely will again? I am a little worried the meds might do some permanent damage and that I exhaust my options with that. But I need some respite from these feelings, it's really tough when it is all day long.
This forum is such a helpful place. Thank you in advance for your comments. xx
0 likes, 5 replies
rob37052 marketta48368
Posted
hi marketta
im on a similar journey.....felt good for ages.....came off slowly, was fine for months then boom! it just hit me one night!
i was on citalopram for a while, came off then crashed.....went back on them, didnt really work, doc swapped to venlafaxine & i still feel lousy after nearly 3 months!!!!
thinking of turning my back on medication!
how do you feel today?
i agree its very disheartning!
marketta48368 rob37052
Posted
Hey Rob
Sorry to hear you're going through this again too! It really is a tough old road!
How long did you give citalopram the second time? I've read (on here) it can take longer to work when back on it. I'm only a few weeks in and from last time recall it took a few months for the physical symptoms to get better and about 5-6 before I could say I felt recovered. I'm expecting it will be similar again. Also trying to "allow" the feelings, not fight them and just let them wash over me.
Once the meds do their trick, alongside change in attitude (which is easier to do when the symptoms ease off a bit) I intent to stay on them for a good while. For life if needed.
rob37052 marketta48368
Posted
Hi marketta
I took citalopram first time around for 4 years with great success, i tapered slowly for 6 month's and came off.
Around 8 weeks later i was at the theatre & i just crashed!
came out of nowhere.......i took herbal supplements but to no effect so went back on citalopram, took 6 months then started to work........then a year in it just stopped working, i would be at work and feel myself getting upset for no reason a year in! I would pull up at the supermarket and feel myself getting upset!
So doc switched me to venlafaxine.......i just seem to be having side effects for the last 3-4 months & really at a crossroads.
Im being more mindful & taking care of myself more now then ive ever done, i guess im just fed up of feeling crappy! How are you sleeping?
Its such a vicious circle when you use alcohol to relax but makes you feel rubbish later.........sleep is so important, have you tried any herbal remedies?. I seem to spend my spare time watching & reading everything i possibly can on anxiety! I hope your feeling better
marketta48368 rob37052
Posted
Ah, that's tough when it comes out of nowhere!
I am sleeping ok now, and very oddly even the intense morning anxiety has eased off super quickly (I'm just under three weeks on meds), BUT what I am experiencing is low mood/constant worry. I really hope it's just the meds and it will level out as time goes on...!
k93282 marketta48368
Posted
Hi,
I am in the same position. Came off again and lasted about 4 months before the anxiety is back with a bang - cant eat, cant sleep, ears ringing and an impending sense of doom. I'm back on 10mg day 7, just feeling hopeless that i will never feel well again! So cross now at myself for coming off them when I felt well so there is a full on pity party in my head atm.
I hope you are starting to feel better 😊