Functioning drinking

Your resolve to take your life back and get healthy, physically and psychologically, is inspiring and encouraging. Despite the money you were making you realized what your priorities should be. Good luck and well done.

Have you looked into Naltrexone or the other drugs that block the pleasure your brain thinks it gets from alcohol. Read about the Sinclair Method. You take one pill one hour before you have your first drink. I've been doing this for three months and have seen a decrease in my attraction and behavior about drinking. This program has a 78% success rate and can take up to a year to completely quiet your brain's desire for alcohol. I think it's going to save my life.

Please look into the Sinclair Method and Naltrexone. I went from a functioning working alcoholic consuming between 17 to 20+ shots of vodka A-day to only a couple of units on the weekend and sometimes none at all . It saved my life, marriage and job. Check it out and keep posting back. The people here are supportive and infinitely helpful.

I've been gone for a few weeks.  I started TSM in August and was very committed for three months.  I'd miss a day or two of the pill, but I still felt I was combatting my problem.  My 87 year old mom, who lived independently, drove and took care of herself, was knocked down by a thug who had just robbed the pharmacy she was walking into.  She went into cardiac arrest, was revived, transported to the hospital where she had another cardiac arrest.  She stayed on life support for five days, when it was clear she was not coming back, artificial support was removed and she died 12 hours later.  I would guess some of what has caused me to have a drinking problem for two decades is that I don't handle bad things well.  I am the matriarch of my family and was very strong through the time in the hospital, with the television press, newspapers, detectives, etc.  Although I'm still trying to take my pill, I'm missing more and more. While her death and subsequent surreal activities don't give me an out, I feel like I'll still try, but will resume in earnest in the new year. Her assaulter/murderer has been caught and now we go through arraignment, trial, whatever.  I can't go to facebook with this as my sister would see it.  This is a safe place for me to be to grieve for my mom and grieve for my inability to work my program.  I'm not looking for sympathy, we've gotten a lot of that, but I missed this group and wanted to reconnect.  We have never been victims of violent crime, but so many families are...I have a new found love and grace for anyone who has weathered this horrific storm.  I'm not beating myself up, although I wish I could be more compliant...I have to look into the face of my mom's murderer next week!  He is a 21 year old kid, already a felon and in California, could be three strikes.  I'm very conflicted about him.  He did a stupid thing, we don't think he targeted her, just knocked her down trying to get out of the drug store without being caught.  Those who pray, please pray for this young man, please pray for our family that we will have peace in what has happened, be glad that she didn't appear to suffer or know what took place.  I pray for all of us who are struggling.  Bless you all, that you can accomplish what you want and be the great humans we were meant to be. xoxoxox