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Genital Herpes and dealing with it

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F.Llama321
F.Llama321

I caught Genital Herpes type 1 in October via oral and I thought I had dealt with the all the shame and guilt and everything but it's coming back to bite me. I feel so ashamed with myself mainly because I caught it by doing something I never thought I would go along with. I didn't really enjoy it, but I felt silly saying no (I know that sounds ridiculous). I felt judged for being a prude and for judging something I'd not really tried before.

The thing is I was quite naive about sex in general- this came from my first sexual partner who I'm still with. I thought I understood about practicing safe sex but I was wrong.

   I am also scared that if me and my partner break up I won't be able to date comfortably again. I've read forums and things, and I know for the most part its not my fault- I had no idea he had a history of suffering from facial herpes and he was under the impression that if theyre not there you cant pass them on.

But I'm so embarrassed about how I caught it and telling future people. 

PS. Please don't think I am being  disrespctful to others who have Herpes- i don't mean that at all, but I am struggling with these feelings of shame and embarrassment now. 

Thank you. 

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • Kate1552
    Kate1552 F.Llama321

    Posted

    I am just now getting to a point that I'm starting to accept the fact that I have this and move on. I was so ashamed and still kind of am when I first found out. The only thing that has really helped me is knowing that this is a common thing. We are still normal and still ourselves and no less of a person than we were before. So many people have this and still carry on normal, healthy love lives. There are so many worse things we could have. At the end of the day, it's nothing more than a cold sore that occurs down there. I don't know about you, but suppressive therapy has made me feel better mentally about it by knowing that it reduces the rate of transmission by a lot. You're going to be fine honey. We all are. And you're definitely in the right place to talk about it all. It's definitely helped me a lot emotionally by talking to people here.
  • F.Llama321
    F.Llama321

    Posted

    Thank you Kate that's really helped. It's definitely taught me to be stronger about saying no too. I can't believe how stupid I was in that respect. 
    • Kate1552
      Kate1552 F.Llama321

      Posted

      I completely agree with you there. In a way I guess it's a twisted blessing in disguise. I'm now more aware of who I let in my life and I definitely will think long and hard about who I let into my life sexually now, which is the way I probably should have been from the beginning. I was dating a guy I truly cared about. When I finally said yes and had sex, I had my first outbreak within a week and he also left me in that week once he had gotten what he wanted. Luckily my outbreak was mild and I honestly had no idea I had HSV. I just found out last week when I got some blood work done. So, I've been living with this almost a year and had no idea. I really hate that we have to deal with this, but I think as long as we all keep a good support around us like the people here, we will all be fine.
    • F.Llama321
      F.Llama321 Kate1552

      Posted

      Im sorry they treated you like that rolleyes and yes definitely, i will no longer be ashamed of being a prude aha! There are always pro's i guess. And i know it could be alot worse, its not like its HIV or anything. Im just worried about the future really... but like you said all the support and time will get us through smile
  • Alexinator
    Alexinator F.Llama321

    Posted

    Coming to terms with it just helps you in the long run, its a mental kind of virus (or for me it is) I have type 1 and it does bring you down knowing you have it, nothing really changes though. Other than being more careful during your sex life and who you touch. A lot of us are still new to this (like me, only like 2 months of my diagnosis) So you aren't alone at all, sucks to say but everyday we get new people coming to this forum saying they were just diagnosed. Its very common
    • F.Llama321
      F.Llama321 Alexinator

      Posted

      Oh yes its definitely a more mental thing. I am lucky not to have had too many outbreaks since getting although i had other complications with it at the time which made it way more uncomfortable but yeah the sores dont bother me as much as the whole stigma of it really and other peoples reactions.

      Thank you both for replying btw smile

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