Genital Herpes : emotional, questions, pain

Posted , 3 users are following.

I’m 17 and just got diagnosed with herpes, I’m pretty devastated, my boyfriend was a virgin but he had done other sexual stuff with other people so I’m giessing he was a carrier. He hasn’t gotten tested yet but pretty sure it’s him because we’ve been sexually actively and I broke out all around the outside of my vagina and anal area. I’m in so much pain and every time I go take a BM, it hurts so so so bad and I just want to cry. He’s been supportive but what if me and him don’t work out? Will anyone want to be with me now because of this? I’m so worried that my life is basically over.. I’m hurting and nothing will take this away. The pain is so bad physically and I’m so emotionally upset because I feel so alone. I talked to my mom about it and it’s just so hard. Someone please give me advice. They gave me medicine to take two times a day for ten days and I’ve taken 4 so far and I’m still in a lot of pain, this is my first initial outbreak so is that normal? Will I be okay? As sad as this sounds will my life still be worth living...? I feel like sex will almost be impossible for the rest of my life and that nothing will ever view me the same if they find out. 

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Posted

    Also after going to the bayhrrom I attempted to wipe (very painful) and there was some blood. 
  • Posted

    Hi Emily! Don't worry honey. Genital herpes is so common. I have it too! HSV1 G. Actually, I was just diagnosed recently and I was taking it pretty difficult at first but it's been easier with the support of forums like this and good information on the internet and doctors, of course. 

    Herpes is extremely common, as I said above. Most people have HSV 1. Remember those cold sores you'd get every now and then on your lip? That's technically HSV 1 herpes also. Genital herpes is just more "looked down upon" or "mocked" in society because it's on the genital area. Don't let mainstream media, society, friends, boyfriends, men, family, etc. bring you down. It's a skin condition and it is COMMON. I have it, the girl you walked by on the street today most likely has it and guess what? Most people don't even KNOW. We just happen to so we're in complete shock and in "utter disgust" because we think we're the only ones who have it. Nah... so many people don't even get treated and tested for herpes. That's exactly how the both of us unfortunately got it also. 

    It's very good that we're getting treated. Keep taking the medication, (use cream if the doctor prescribed you some) on the effected areas and if you feel an outbreak coming, take your pills right away and try not to stress. Stress can cause the outbreaks to flare up. I know it's hard to "not stress" with the pressures of society, friends, family, school, etc. but don't stress about your genital herpes. It will be okay - I promise. Also, if you look online - you can find great ways to help prevent an outbreaks such as epsom bath salts and a good healthy diet during an outbreak and to avoid an outbreak. 

    As for a sex life, if your current partner does not understand that you have genital herpes and you are treating it, being honest with him, and doing everything you can to have a healthy sexual relationship with him.... it is difficult to say I know but he is not worth your time. Because I mean, he most likely GAVE it to you. Tell him to get tested since you're being tested and treated. It is only fair to keep that relationship healthy and going. 

    If it doesn't work out, there will be many good and honest people who fortunately will understand. Herpes isn't the end of your love life and sex life. Just don't have sex during an outbreak, take your medicine, put on the cream if needed and prescribed, use condoms, be open and honest with partners you plan to be intimate with and everything will be fine. Also, woman to man transmission is not as strong as man to woman... apparently what I've been reading up about online. I'm here for you! I have it! So does MILLIONS. Remember: it's the most common STF. Stay strong!! We got your back. smile 

    • Posted

      Thanks your response helped me a lot. He knows all about it and is being supportive and is going to get tested because like you said he probably is the one who gave it to me, (he’s explained that he hasn’t had symptoms and that he’s so so sorry if t was him) so I csnt be mad because he’s being here for me and is being very cooperative and understanding. I’m just worried as to why they haven’t gone away yet sinc don on the medicine. & the one on my butthole hurts really bad. What could I do for that? Will it go away? How often do you think I’ll have an outbreak and will it be as bad as this one? Will it always be on my anus as well? Thanks again smile 

    • Posted

      Hi! Just seen your reply back. Of course!! Trying my best to help everyone here. I am SO happy that your boyfriend is so supportive. That's amazing! Best of luck to you both. 

      I have genital herpes in my anus area as well. I'm experiencing my first outbreak right now.. which apparently according to lots of research and my doctor, of course, apparently lasts the longest and is the worst. So it'll take a while to go away and clear up but the medication you're on will help it and heal it fast. 

      I believe it appears on the same area.. just wash your hands and clean the area. I don't think it'll spread unless you don't take care of it but I'm so sure that you do take care of it. It'll clear up! Mine is slowly clearing up now. May take another week or so but I'm being patient, not stressing and taking good care of myself in the mean time. 

      It's comforting to know your boyfriend supports you and is there for you as well. That's very sweet. You'll be good! XOXO

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