genital herpes? i dont know im crying please help

hi im not sure if ive had a full panel std. i had sex last week with and i just found out he gets cold sores and he performed oral sex... so i think i was exposed to herpes... ughhhh i didnt know thats how that worked i feel like an idiot because it makes sense now. so i probably do huh?

got it. the guy I was dating has herpes 1 & 2. he didn't tell me. he performed oral sex 3 times on me and we had unprotected sex 1 time (3 times with condoms). I knew my status in July Because I did a full panel then. Something didn't feel right so I had him go get tested and that is when I found out of his status. I just did another full panel this week and after 13 weeks and 2 days from our unprotected sex incident and honestly the last time I had any sexual encounter I tested negative for herpes 1 & 2 (igg blood test).

I share my story because you may not have herpes. And if you do it will be the less and tents of the to and it's not the end of your life. It is something manageable and you still have a lot of life to live. When I thought that I might have it I was and the worst oppression of my life and looking back I wasted 3 months of mental anguish and emotional depression and not living. Either way it may have I should have kept going on with my life and being the best person I can be in being as happy as I could be

Sorry for the typos using voice to text while at the light driving

thankyou, typos are fine i just read it twice to fully understand everything haha. im glad your story had a better outcome than most, i had my area swabbed and was told its most likely herpes, i had my first full panel std test yesterday as well. it been an emotional roller coaster thats for sure

how do you deal with a flare up? (is that what its called?) im literally so uncomfortable and i dont want to touch it because of how painful it is, would hydrocodone help? when i go to my gynecologist today will they give me something for these symptoms while i wait for the results? how often do flare ups happen? are they always as bad as this? ive seen herpes get on fingers so does that mean touching down there ill have it show up on my hands? is there any way to prevent painful urination while im going through this? i have so many questions im sorry

When I got my first outbreak a month ago I did not go to the doctor right away because I was very scared and ashamed ( and i didn't want to tell my mom, she is very conservative lol), so I looked up treatment online. You can get over the counter antiviral medicine like acyclovir or valtrex. After taking acyclovir I felt almost immediate relief, especially for painful urination and sores healed very fast. To avoid getting it on your fingers just wash your hands well after touching it!

hi yes, my dad is very conservative as well. he thinks im still a virgin. i had to tell him i thought i had a yeast infection due to prior antibiotics. My gynecologist prescribed me lidocaine gel and 1gm tablets of valtrex to help, so sadly she did say its most likely herpes. ill get the call monday to verify that. honestly i can deal with the itchyness and the sores but omg peeing feels as if im in hell which is what the lidocaine was prescribed for, it doesnt work )): i told my dad i think i have the flu so i could stay home until it heels enough since the symptoms are the same. how are you now? like physically and mentally?

bring a cup into the bathroom with you and fill it with water. pore it on the area as you urinate which will ease the pain ALOT but not completely... Go commando when you can. My first outbreak was so incredibly painful that i slept with a wet washcloth on it. ive only had one other outbreak though and it was so minor that I didnt realize I had it until i took a mirror down there after sex hurt. The valrext should help ALOT within a few days

i havent worn panties in like 3 days now bc of how sensitive it is, also i had to shower just to pry my panties off bc the exposed skin got stuck to it, i almost teared up it was so painful lmaooo (laughing is my way of dealing with serious and anxious situations, probably not the healthiest coping mechanism lol) i do have a question though is there any certain water temperature that works best? and how the f**k am i supposed to wipe without agitating it? ive been holding my pee in all day trying to find out if walgreens or someone has like diy catheters

Room temp/warm water, whatever is the most comportable for you! If its real bad you can pee in the bathtub, being fully submerged in water should be the least painful way, and also provide general comfort. Pat dry, dont wipe.. If toilet paper gets stuck to it, ditch it all together and use a clean wash cloth. if you pore water on it you can just drip dry if you want too.. Ive read some people using a blow dryer on the area too, to try and dry out the open sores. Do not put anything down there that consist of chemicals, soaps, etc. Just water to keep it clean.. you can put some baking soda in bath water, its supposed to sooth it and the neutralize ph but i personally didnt find relief from this.

I feel you!! peeing is the worst lol

During my first outbreak I would avoid it as much as I could, I peed twice or three times a day because it hurts so much lmao but don't worry it will be much better from the first dose of meds.

The first two weeks were horrible, I was extremely depressed, I felt like trash and thought my life was over at 23. I was especially upset because the guy I was dating ghosted when I questioned him about it (total ahole).

Now that the sores are gone I'm feeling great, its as if I never even had it, so the disease doesn't bother me as much anymore. I read a lot of testimonials online of people saying it is not that much of a big deal, you only get outbreaks occasionally and it feels more like a skin condition than anything else!

I think the only thing that really changes is having to be more careful when having sex from now on tbh

my boyfriend is the one i got from im pretty sure, since he performed oral sex on me with both of us not knowing the consequences pshhhh how stupid right? hes actually being really supportive which is surprising because we havent been dating that long and because of all the stigma surrounding genital herpes... he took me to the appointment and everything hes a sweet guy. im just so angry at him and myself but thats not going to solve anything /: im sorry the guy you got it from was a complete a****le the audacity of some people really irritates me... and im happy to hear youre doing much better! i just cannot wait for this initial outbreak to be over i feel like i have the flu ughhhh ... but honestly yall talking to me and giving me advice and letting me know im not alone has helped me tremendously, i wish i could give yall hugs haha

Moderator comment: I have edited this post due to the swearing. These are open forums so as per the T&Cs please do not use offensive language in posts otherwise they may be deleted.

yes i tried peeing in a tub of water i barely got any relief)): ive been dabbing down there with toilet paper and not wiping as well when i am using the actual toilet.. i heard adding a cup of salt to a bath helps as well but would that be epson salt or table salt? and how long does it take for me to feel better physically? ive missed school because my body is so week, i feel like i actually have the flu

Currently going through my first out break! To pee I just put some toilet paper between my vag where the sores are and let it go!!! make sure you wash your hands really good and clean yourself well. i have gotten urine on my hand lol but id rather that then the fiery pit from hell that rips thru my body when i relieve myself! hope this helps! Was given my positive diagnosis yesterday! Im trying to stay positive about it and hold my head high. its like once i found out for sure it was a relief which is weird but i hope you get negative results

did he have an active sore when he did oral?

Staying positive is the way to go. I haven't been with it for long enough to know, but I think the first outbreak is as bad as it gets!

Thank you so much means so much and you dont even know it! I am on day 3 of Valtrax and i feel relief there, My heart and head is still broken lol (sorry to laugh just trying to keep from crying) but thank you sooooooo much for replying! Praying for a long healthy life for you!

im on day three of valtrex as of today, still painful urination but not nearly as bad as as what it was, ive been taking baths with epson salt which gives some relief for a little while. better than no relief, am i right lol? im trying to be positive about it as well. honestly just knowing the first outbreak is the worst gives me relief. i could NOT go through this again lol.

By Day 5 you will feel much better!!! im almost healed up! Excuse my language but this Sh.t was worse than child birth!!! I kid you not! Hoping for a speedy recovery! Stay positive try to stay busy! Today was a little better but i cried like a baby. I told the guy i got it from and I think he knew so im kinda upset about that! But thats another story for another day! If you can get some Lidocaine Gel to rub on the affected area it will bring great relief!!

Glad to hear you are both doing better!! So much of the fear disappears when you feel normal down there again. This might sound silly but i would always try to look at it like this: Any part of your body can get sick (bacteria or viral) We are exposed to tons of new germs everyday. Some make us sick and some dont. Reproductive organs are just part of it, they can get sick too, just like other body parts. It should certianly be prevented, just like we should prevent getting the flu. But why does it have to be any more frowned upon than catching a different kind of virus? After all we all have sex, we all shake hands, we all kiss, we all hug. We all do all of the things that make passing germs possible..... But this might just be the health education background in me lolol, it really helps me to look at it as it really is: facts rather than opinion and stigma.

results came back, she said its type one... ill be okay im staying strong deep breaths

Aw.. on the bright side, at least it is type one! It is easier to handle than type 2, you get less outbreaks and its less likely to be passed on.

thats what the woman said on the phone which was really nice to hear!! I'm a senior and got the call at school which was nerve racking but no way i was going to wait haha.. my last and only questions are, once im finished with all the refills (which ik will take a while) do i just call them again and say i need more? and right when i feel another outbreak coming on do i just take one pill that day and ill be good until another outbreak? i love my gynecologist but they never really give me any information

for refills on the valtrex, they only give you like 2-4 pills! they know that recurrent outbreaks arent as serious and dont give you as much, so you are supposed to take all of them. I keep a bottle handy just in case but im pretty sure mine is expired. You likely wont really need them more than once or twice, maybe never again with type 1! The other good news with type 1 is that over 60% of people already have this, mostly orally, but they still cant really catch the same virus twice. So it makes it a lot easier for you not to pass it on! Not to mention you are contagious less often than with type 2. Genital herpes is definitely not ideal but if you have to have either type, you got the easier one. which is something to feel relieved about!

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking. I am 18 and contracted it a year ago from a guy who didn't disclose. He also gave me HPV along with it (double whammy) and which have now turned into precancerous cells. It has truly ruined my life. I go to a very prestegious college where no one else has it. I'm wondering when in my life that I'll be able to date and have sex again. No guy I've ever encountered, with their whole bright future ahead of them, wants to risk getting a life-ling disease. I've been severely depressed for a year and feeling like I will never be able to find love or affection again.

can it go away is there medication for it or does it stay with u forever😶😶🥺..

hi there!

1. he gave me hpv-just an FYI, the guy would only know he has hpv if he gets warts. we do not have a reliable test for men. also you body might clear the infection within 3 years (mine did)
2. going to a fancy school will not prevent you from getting it
3. chin up, you will get through this! get a therapist, mine is so helpful

the virus hides in your nervous cells, no cure...YET!

I am sorry that you've been depressed over contracting an STI/STD, but it sounds to me like you need a little more education and acceptance when it comes down to it. HPV and HSV often time goes unnoticed, which is how they have become the 2 most common STIs.

You should have been able to start dating the second that your outbreak cleared up and once the HPV had been taken care of. Neither HPV nor HSV are anything to be ashamed about nor are they anything to let hinder your life as you have.

I also find it highly unlikely that no one in your college "has it". In fact, unless you possess the medical records of your schools' entire student body - then I can guarantee that you are not the only student who has ever contracted HPV or HSV - or any other STI, for that matter. Unless your college only has 4 students, then I would stand corrected.

HPV is the single most common STI, with roughly 80% of the worlds sexually active population carrying some form of it at some point in their life time. Herpes is slightly less common, but the numbers of people that carry HSV 1&2 are staggering. Almost 70% of people under the age of 50 will test positive for Herpes Simplex 1 and roughly 1 in 4 people are infected with Herpes Simplex 2. These are simply the most common forms that cause cold sores (AKA fever blisters) or genital herpes. Even chicken pox - or as its less commonly known - herpes zoster - is a similarly related disease that most of us have had.

As far as finding love and affection while having a communicable disease - the older you get, the more you will realize that there are PLENTY of men that are more than willing to risk a life-long disease no matter how bright their future is. Does that mean they are the right men? Eh, it's not likely that many of them are. But it's just as likely that the ones that are unwilling to contract a life-long disease are the right man either.

You need to get yourself back out there. Be open, upfront and honest about having herpes. I am. Every single time I go on a date, which is quite frequently despite having an incurable STD. I eventually end up disclosing my STD status if I even think that there is a possibility of sex on the horizon. And not once has it been a deal breaker for the other party. Typically, you can weed out the ones that are going to have an issue with having a partner with herpes LOOOOONG before you even consider sleeping with them. So many people with herpes have loving and fulfilling relationships with their partners.

I think you need someone to talk to. A therapist or counselor. And I think you need to reconsider a lot of the ideas you have preconceived about living with herpes. Many patients who are treated properly don't even get outbreaks. And if they do its like once a year. I get sick with a cold more often than I have to worry about my STD status.

It's 2020 - living with herpes is NORMAL and doesn't make you or I any less of a human being.

Everything that TankGirl has said is 100% correct and true for me as well. You will ABSOLUTELY find love again. And having an adventurous sex life is still on the table if thats something you wanted.. To answer your question, i'm 23. I'm young too but have gone through college, dated, had sex, traveled and enjoyed it all. I contracted it at 19..

It really is just a stigma. like tankgirl said, most people have herpes whether it be type 1 or type 2. The problem is most of them dont know it. Your approach when you tell people is really a big game changer. Be informative, and confident. Start by asking them if they have ever had a cold sore, most people will say yes. Go from there!