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Genital Herpes: Is kissing okay?

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Volleyball45
Volleyball45

Okay so I was recently diagnsoed with Genital Herpes a little over a month ago. I have talked to doctor about things and how to cope with how I've been feeling but I still haven't gotten clear answers on what I really wanted to know. I am now in a same sex relationship with another girl and I'm really just trying to figure all of this out. I've told her and she's willing to be supportive I just don't want to spread it to her in any way. Is kissing her even when i haven't had an outbreak in a month wrong? Should we hold off. How likely is she to get it if we don't use gloves while she penetrates me with her fingers? We know the use of dildos and vibrators are always options but I just want to feel her touch sometimes and I feel like now that possibility is gone. Help would be fantastic. Thank you.

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4 Replies

  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus Volleyball45

    Posted

    If you only have genital herpes, then kissing is fine. HSV is localised, so your genital region is infected, not your mouth (unless you have oral herpes).

    As for unprotected fingering, which HSV type do you have? Has your gf ever been tested for it? If she has had oral HSV-1 previously, even if only as a child, and you have genital HSV-1, then that should be fine.

    If she hasn't, there's a chance of her acquiring the virus on her fingers (HSV-1 is a little less picky about body parts). HSV-2 nearly always prefers the genitals, so this should be far less likely.

    Prodromes and outbreaks should be avoided, plus unprotected fingering with broken skin on the fingers. If you are on daily suppressive antivirals (usually only for HSV-2), then the transmission risk will be reduced further. Hope this helps!

    • Volleyball45
      Volleyball45 FelizCastus

      Posted

      Thank you so much for responding, it means a lot. I have Genital Herpes and she has never been tested for herpes, but has never gotten a cold sore in her life. I know that doesnt mean she's immune to it. We'd never have sex if I ever got another outbreak again, but i haven't since I was diagnosed 2 months ago. thank you!
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Volleyball45

      Posted

      Happy to help! smile

      Yep, just continue to avoid outbreaks (including any initial prodrome), take antiviral meds (daily suppressive therapy), and no unprotected fingering with broken/torn skin like hangnails. This applies to you as well regarding touching yourself, in particular lesions (self-infection to other body parts is possible until you have enough antibodies, usually in 3-4 months). Practice common sense hygiene, like handwashing afterwards.

      Btw, if this is a newly acquired infection for you, and not an old infection, you should note that you are more infectious during the first several months, so antiviral meds are especially important since you are in a presumed discordant relationship, with your gf likely having no partial immunity to any HSV type. You can shed and be infectious even in the absence of an outbreak (HSV-2 is worse for asymptomatic shedding).

      Anyway, HSV type is important to know (very different implications), so I hope your doctor didn't just take a look and visually diagnose you with GH, then leave it at that, lol. Here for other questions, and take care!

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