Getting Irritable and Short-Tempered

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I've been noticing that over the last year or so I seem to be getting short-tempered, irritable, and impatient. So tonight, I asked my husband if he also was seeing these traits in me (we've been married 35 years). He said yes. I've never felt these traits were much a part of me before. I don't know if I'm feeling this way because,15 years into ME/CFS, I'm just feeling defeated. a bit depressed, and hopeless. Or if it's because most of my friends have abandoned me. Or if it's something biological that this illness is doing to my brain. I don't much like the bitterness I'm feeling, and I know it's not a good thing. Have any of you experienced this?

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  • Posted

    Hi Jackie

    I am 21years into ME/fibro. I also know several others and come across many on social media. I would say on the whole, irritability ,lack of patience, bitterness etc is abounding one way or another. Personally I have a lot of patience and that is fairly constant. But I do feel I am much less tolerant of various things and people ! I could always find the best in people but I have become aware for sometime now how I can see the worst in them .

    My patience does get thin with usually well people who moan about minor things moan about have a cold as if they are dying. OK everyone has the right to feel unwell and say so but if they had to put up with chronic ill health they would know about it .

    As we get older I think patience decreases in most people and the bitterness and resentment increases. Doesn't help with the current way the country is. Be us in the UK or USA. A lot of people are feeling very bitter and angry etc. And no offence intended, many , young people seem to think the world owes them and no one ever had it as bad as they do. All that really annoys me !

    My partner has become a right grumpy pants. No patience with anything and moans about everything . Type 1 diabetes really changed him though. Plus my chronic very restricting situation much contribute too.

    Sorry gone on a bit . But basically I would say yes I think ME is a game changer regarding tolerance and patience. But then all chronic illness is the same. Is the nature of it I think. So don't beat yourself up about it Jackie because feeling guilty or bad about things that are not really your fault, usually only serve to make you feel even worse.

    Take care x

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    • Posted

      Janet--Thanks so much for your response. It's really helpful to know others are experiencing this problem. I could especially relate to the part about you now seeing the worst in people. For me, that's very scary. Before the last year or so, I couldn't think of anyone I disliked or had any kind of problem with. Now, I'm not speaking to my best friend of over 50 years because she hasn't visited me in over 5 years (she lives about 45 minutes from me). I'm annoyed with a few people in my husband's family (always had very good relationships with all of them), and am not speaking to several people I grew up with (because, after 60 years, they don't call my 96-year-old mother any more, and she spends the holidays crying because she doesn't hear from them). I think I'm just really beat down. And, yes, I am angry about the situation here in the U.S. I know this isn't a political forum, but I'm beyond disgusted at the person who's been elected to sit in the White House. All civility is gone in this country, and it's very disheartening. Anyhow, with all that, I'm going to push myself to get out today, though I'm mostly housebound. I'm going to see a movie, eat popcorn, and be grateful that I have a good-natured husband who  is still with me even through all the difficulties of being married to someone with this terrible illness. I wish you all the best and hope this holiday season isn't too hard for you.

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    • Posted

      I get really annoyed with my partner Nick's father. He hardly ever contacts us Nick is just as bad though as he hardly calls him either. I usually get the number and out the phone in his hand. It gets to me because I lost my dear mother two and a half years ago and am desperate daily to call her and see her. We moved from South to North to be nearer to her. But I only had seven months with her before she unexpectedly died. She was almost 93.

      Nick's dad lives in the south. Even when we lived down there he stopped visiting us. He lived opposite side of London to us.must be 8 years since I have seen him. We always got on well . So have no idea what happened. Anyway it all really grates on me ! And hurts me too. I email him at times but he writes only a little back and it reads as if I am a total stranger.

      I must say that Nick is like your husband . Stayed with me through thick and thin. Our lives have been a massive roller coaster for most of our 28 yrs together. We have many conversations putting the world to rights!

      Take good care Jackie . And remember you are not alone x

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  • Posted

    Will add jackie ,I am feeling particularly irritated at the moment because I can't stand Christmas ! And very emotional. X

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    • Posted

      Glad I’m not the only one! I’m such a Scrooge this year.. I’m yet to be diagnosed but I’m (very unsure of how long I’ve actyally had ME as it’s been on and off for about four years..) but this bad flare up is continuing to last 4 months in.. (usually only lasts 3 weeks at most) but this year in particular I’m not feeling at all Christmassy.. my irritability is also becoming noticeable and so when I get to that point I tend to isolate myself sad not the best idea I might add but until my friends and family can understand it’s not my fault I find it to be the safest way.( to avoid any arguments or hurtful comments) 

      Meg. 20. Cornwall

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  • Posted

    I understand how you feel, Jackie. After 25 years of dealing with CFS/ME, I'm feeling defeated, as well and very irritable and bitter. I recently had lots of headaches. The doctor ordered and MRI of the brain and spine. It appears that I'm having some issues with my neck, which could be causing the headaches, balance problems, and generalized weakness that I hadn't experienced before. While I used to function 50%, I'm now barely functioning at all. I do ONLY what I have to do and am finding myself making excuses to avoid social situations. It's just to exhausting being around people right now. I would get a thorough check-up to make sure nothing else is going on with you. Hope you find some answers as to why you are feeling so short-tempered. Good luck and happy holidays! KPD

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    • Posted

      Hi Janet, 

      Have you found anything to help with the cervical spondylosis? Physical therapy and injections have been suggested.... So far the muscle relaxers haven't worked!

      It's just one more symptom that is getting me down-making me feel unsteady. This is a new symptom and I don't think it is part of the CFS/ME. Thanks for any help you can offer. Karen

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    • Posted

      Hi Karen

      I don't tolerate pain meds which is not great considering I am in constant pain somewhere or other . although I would not want to be doped up an anything. My only thing is a constant hot water bottle. Heat is soothing and takes the other due off a little. But of course can't put it all over my body.

      In the past I was given a soft collar to wear but found it held by neck too rigid and made it worse. So I had to stop using it.

      Is it a steroid inject that has been mentioned ? That is what it usually is.

      I did have back and neck problem a prior to ME. But I do think ME hasn't helped. Plus as it the years go by ! Do you get shooting pains down your arms that feel like electric shocks ? It is nerve pain and I get it down my legs as well as my arms.

      I can well imagine your pain is getting you down. It is no fun that's for sure. I try to distract myself as much as I can. But some days I admit it gets rather draining . take care x

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    • Posted

      Thanks Janet. I can't tolerate pain pills and muscle relaxers, either. Heat and icepacks are both very soothing. In answer to your question, they have mentioned steroid injections into the neck, but they want to try everything else first. 

      My pain isn't that bad. I just seem to have a constant stiffness in myneck and some over-all weakness in the arms and legs. I think the weakness is what is getting me down. My case of ME/CfS was a mild one, but it feels like it has gotten worse bc of the neck. I hope that once we treat the neck, I'll feel better and will get my strength back. 

      Thanks so much for responding. Hope you have a wonderful holiday and good luck to you! Karen

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    • Posted

      I hope you can get some as soon. My ME is moderate to severe . Your neck problem might be nothing to do with ME . X
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    • Posted

      Thanks for your response, KPD! I can't be around people right now either. I just had a crash after my husband drove me around last night to look at Christmas lights. I'm seeing my doctor on Wednesday so will mention the emotional issues. Happy holidays to you too.

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  • Posted

    Hi Jackie, even though your feelings are justified, it is worth mentioning your irritability to your health care professional (hope you have a good doctor) and treating it like a new symptom just in case.  Sorry to hear about your friends.  Even before CFS ruled our lives I lost contact with many friends because all our lives had  become so frantically busy and our paths failed to cross.  Everyone needs to slow down a little (and maybe avoid having slowing down forced upon them!) and care for those around them.  Thinking of you at Christmas and sincerely hoping for better things for you in 2018.

     

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    • Posted

      Thanks for your response, Catherine. I'm seeing my doctor on Wednesday and will mention my emotional issues to him. It's so hard dealing with the physical side of ME/CFS and the unpredictability of all my symptoms. Then add to that the fact that many friends seem to forget that I exist. Even though I email them, they often don't even respond to my emails. So that results in social isolation. If it weren't for my husband, I'd be totally alone 100% of the time. So I'm very grateful for him. I wish you a very happy holiday season as well.

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    • Posted

      I sincerely hope that something will improve for you in 2018, it's so tough to be socially isolated, we humans are not solitary creatures.

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