Getting My Sex Drive Back To Normal After Citalopram

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Hi,

I'm just looking for a little advice (or even just the knowledge that I'm not the only one suffering with this) around Citalopram and my complete lack of sex drive.

I was told I was depressed / had work related stress at the beginning of 2013 (February / March) and was put on 30mg of Citalopram a day. I was on the meds for about a year in total. My depresson and stress levels are all back to normal now however my sex drive... not so much.

My lack of sex drive seemed to coincide with these meds and when I asked my doctor about it while I was taking them, he told me that it was just because I was depressed and so the desire to have sex would be a problem anyway. He assured me that when things got back on track in my life, so too would my sex drive.

It is now one year later after coming off the meds and my sex drive is still non-existant. I am in a long term relationship (7 years) and sex before my depression and medication taking was fine. The lack of sex now is causing a lot of tension and arguments. My partner feels unwanted and I know it is frustrating him when I constantly reject any kind of interaction with him.

I feel like I'm broken and it's seriously getting me down. I just want to be normal and for this huge pressure to be lifted.

I went back to the doctors and had several tests to check hormones etc and all was fine, was referred to a therapist but wimped out and cancelled the referral.

I'm not totally lost and don't know where to go from here. Has anyone been in a similar postion with any advice to give?

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Dear Maybug,

    I am off with work related stress and suffering with big lack in libido. Fortunately, my partner, now fiance, is understanding and totally supportive.

    Being here has reassured me it will come back and I am sure you will get a lot more better advice answers soon.

    Hang in there you're at the right place!

    Regards,

    David

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    • Posted

      Thank you! It was good to just get it out there! Talking to people about this can be so embarrassing and hard to admit.

      My partner is supportive and was amazing while I was going through the hard patch, I just think the last 2 years have been very frustrating for him and has worn his patience a little thin sad

      Thanks again for your kind words.

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    • Posted

      Hi,

      No problem!

      One thing I forgot to say is, that you may want to consider a second opinion! When I finally admitted I was ill and a relaxing smoke and alcohol were the wrong kind of meds to get me by day by day, I went to the Doctor. My regular Doc was not available so I saw a new one. She knows, it appears, nearly everything about these types of illnesses and along with my Fiance, possibly, saved my life!

      I hope your partner can talk with someone and help him understand.

      smile Keep posting for more advice or just to talk as there are some wonderfully helpful people here.

      David

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  • Posted

    Yes it's a common side effect with this medicine, though your libido should return after withdrawing from the meds.  I lowered my dose because of this problem and my libido was fine then, and was even better when I came off them.It's such an annoying problem and really tough on our partners too.  If your stress levels are back to normal, then it's not that and would say it's to do with the medication.  It can take a while for your body to readjust.

    If it carries on, I'd see your doctor again.

    K x

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  • Posted

    Unfortunately I have the opposite problem and mine is through the roof but my partner's isnt - he gets angry with me if I try to initiate sex, as he is tired from work - then I don't pick up the signs that he wants to have sex - arguments galore!

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  • Posted

    Good Evening, 

    I see this discussion took place some time ago but I'm suffering with this same problem right now. Was taking this medication for a year or longer due to grief depression of loosing my father and I have now been off the meds for about 4 or 5 months now. Had all the tests ran to check hormones and all those things and it came back normal. My Dr thought maybe my serotonin was low and told me to take Wellbutrin for a couple of months to help boost it back up (that hasn't worked either). 

    My partner/ fiance' claimed to be so supportive and understanding to what I was going through but throws it in my face every chance given to let me know the last we had sex or how intimate I'm not anymore. That bothers me because I know how high of a sex drive I use to have and to go from that to absolutely nothing frustrates me. Arguments are more frequent and stress is through the roof that I have called our wedding off that was to take place in June. 

    I need help help and some answers and I'm hoping someone that has gone through this same issue as me can help because talking to my partner and looking for help and understanding isn't working.....

     

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    • Posted

      Good Morning Tamara,

      I am so sorry that your partner cannot control his urges and obvious frustration, to a point as a male I can understand that. However, for me, the point only goes as far as when my Fiancee says (and we talk and discuss things all the time) she is not interested, let alone being ill! A real man, especially a man who says he loves you will back off and accept your decision and of course allow you time to get over being ill and any side effects, whatever they are, that has changed you. Even when not ill no one has the right to force themselves on you (that goes for blokes as well).

      You are a human being, an individual that no other person has a right to control, dictate to, manipulate or harm in any way physically or mentally.

      I ain't preaching, just telling it as it is becuase with age does comes maturity (or a certain kind of maturity with us males, considering our hormones etc) and the ability to see what is right and wrong with a hell of a lot more clarity than when we were young. If males have guidance, openess and raised in a culture of respect this lessens the chances of various kinds of male stupidity. The British giggle too much!

      What isn't helping is the present western culture promoting women as purely sexual objects (to be used and abused) and the present day trend of what does boil down to less respect. The soaps, reality TV where some young people "sell" themselves and let themselves become vulnerable to an insaitible craving by the press and advertisers just to sell, isn't helping either. Non of this promotes any kind of good role models we truly need for young kids from primary age upwards.

      On the other hand, so sadly we see young women in the East dying for basic human rights whether it is the right to education, marry who they wish, the right to say 'NO!' or just basic human rights. However, thankfully some like Malala and Saba have actually survived to tell their horrific stories.

      I guess you have found out sooner rather than later by calling the wedding off. You need time to get over your illness the best you can without added problems or pressures otherwise, you'll only get worse. To be honest if he cannot stop and think clearly what is happenng to both of you and your relationship because of his hormones (and that is what it is) then distance is the best thing for the time being, neither of you can go on living like this. He, at the same time, does need counselling or the attitude he has will spread, become worse and eat away at him and who knows where it will end. If he cannot accept this then he does not truly love or respect you.

      I am not scare mongering, just, as a male, being honest about how our hormones can control us - if we let them. There is nothing wrong or dirty about anyone "relieving themselves" to help prevent this getting out of hand (that was not a pun!), but if you truly love someone this would not be an issue.

      Good luck Tamara and I hope this helps. I am sure other forumers will be able to support you (possibly better) as the day moves on.

      Best Regards,

      David

       

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