Girlfriend deeply needs help. MAJOR depression / stretch mark issues
Posted , 4 users are following.
I'm not sure where to start but i truly hope i can find help here. I appologize for the lengthy post. I do really appreciate any and all input.
The main issues are stretch marks and depression.
As far as i know my girlfriend has always suffered from some form of depression. As life gets more stressful it seems the depression gets worse.
It consumes every day of her life at this point. What was once a few episodes a week is now an episode every single night. She cant control the sadness and she cant control herself.
These episodes include the obvious crying and suicidal thoughts, uncontrollable emotions and physical abuse. It gets so bad that i have to physically stop her myself for her to stop hitting herself or pulling at her hair. It's very difficult to talk her out of these episodes and calm her down, and i can't be there every night to do so. She lives on her own, and it's getting serious.
As of today her health insurance is back up, and we are trying to get her into a doctors office. Before losing her insurance she was taking Fluoxetine which quite frankly seemed to make her worse. We are not sure what to do, obviously the depression makes her have little to no hope and no will to get better on her own. Little negative things to her seem like the world is ending or shes being punished for something she did. Its horrifying seeing someone you love being destroyed by something like this.
Also onto the stretch marks. Shes slightly above average, staying motivated with depression is understandably difficult. Her family has stretch mark genetics, as in her stick thin sisters have them on their butts like stripes. She has been oiling and taking care of her skin for 8 years, yet her stretch marks are getting worse as she loses weight, and shes not losing it fast either. It's crushing her, and quite frankly i don't understand how its happening. These stretch marks are getting larger and more red as she gets smaller? Shes eating healthy, and regularly training with me. This to her is one of the most important things because she feels like shes imperfect and ruined now and theres no reason to work out if they just get worse.
It's been a year since i'v first noticed the mental issue. Watching this snowball into what it is now is becoming dangerous.
0 likes, 14 replies
mike09523 devinw
Posted
On the issue of stretch marks. It is a terrible shame that some women can be covered in them and others get none at all.
My wife got them with our first child when she was 20. For the last 47 years we have refered to them as her badge of honour for creating our son and daughter.
Mike.
devinw mike09523
Posted
ptolemy devinw
Posted
devinw ptolemy
Posted
Thats exactly it and i know that me and you both understand that logical thinking, but it doesnt seem to process the same way with someone who has depression. My main concerns are finding a realistic answer to why they're getting worse as she loses weight and how we can go about treating her depression. Thats obviously my main concern but her being the stubborn girl that she is makes things a little difficult!
ptolemy devinw
Posted
I think a lot of us don't like to be told what to do as we always know best, although we might secretly agree with it!! If she has true depression she needs a good anti psychotic to combat it. If she is just down in the dumps she needs things to stimulate her to start looking outwards.
Is she trying to lose weight or is it happening automatically?
devinw ptolemy
Posted
Trust me when i say she has true depression. I never believed depression was a real thing as ignorant as that is but then i met her, and i can't help but describe it as a sickness. To watch someone you love rock back and forth, almost histerical, as they try and rip their hair out of their head.. It gets to you. Shes trying to lose weight, struggling actually. I'm heavily into fitness and studying nutrition and even with my teachings the weightloss is so slow.
ptolemy devinw
Posted
devinw ptolemy
Posted
Shes in the police academy so she needs to be in decent shape but yes she has a cat and no shes not big on cooking.. Things can make her happy, but its temporary. Its scary because we can be out and about having a good time and all of a sudden she'll go quiet, and i know its going to be a bad night. Nothing has to happen, its just triggered at random and she cant control it.
mike09523 devinw
Posted
Hi,
I know this is obvious, and I am not trying to add to your problems but if a person, overweight or pregnant, looses weight then stretch marks can be the result, loose skin where previously there was bulk.
As others here have posted, true deep depression eats at your very soul.
On a lighter note, the physiciatrist I saw told me to forget about my troubles, stop dwelling on the past horrors I suffered and man up. I think he may write the government's speeches to anxiety sufferers.
Mike.
devinw mike09523
Posted
Thats the thing, shes not that overweight. So basically on her sides for example she had no stretch marks. Shes lost 3 pounds in 3 weeks and suddenly each week not only did they appear on her sides but theyre getting worse. We read that it could be that the stretch marks were already there, but now are becoming visible due to the weight loss?
Either way, your psychiatrist literally sounds like me. I'm a healthy, normal 21 year old balancing full time school and work yet still managing to stay mentally strong, so for me "manning up" is how i approach life. Sadly, i think she needs medication. I may post in the mental health section soon to see if any users have information on what works and what to talk to the doctor about.
mike09523 devinw
Posted
Hi
I have been on fluoxetine for about 12months. They help a lot. Only thing I find is they keep my anxiety and depression under control to a point but when it gets to much for me I suddenly need to get out of whatever situation I'm in or I will explode (punch myself in the head, don't ask, it hurts) so that I don't hurt anyone else, according to my councillor.
Mike
devinw mike09523
Posted
mike09523 devinw
Posted
Hi,
That's a pity they worked for me within 2 weeks but I had been on something else, can't remember, for a couple of months. Mind you I also take meds for pain plus a morphine patch so that probably made me more susceptible.
Mike.
solegmnz devinw
Edited
I I know this is old but I wonder how it all went.
Also, you said she has always had some sort of depression, but the first thing you mentioned between the 2 were the stretch marks, and if I'm not mistaken, I never read a part in which you said 'I told her I couldn't care less, that I love her and I find her as absolutely attractive as when she didn't have the stretch marks'.
You mention how you are both working out, how you are in a plan, how you study nutrition and how she needs to be 'in shape' because of her work. If she's doing the job already, that means she doesn't need to change anything. I doubt they hired an obese girl if she has to run. Which means her body is healthy already. She can be in shape without losing weight or with losing minimal amounts, much less than 3 pounds in 3 weeks.
My point is, either you realise it or not, you are putting pressure on an already depressed human being. If you love her, you should accept her. The best help you can give her is to help her IF she asks for it. Your question here should have been: how can I let my girlfriend know I love her and she doesn't need to change a thing about her so that I contribute to end with her depression?
Just a thought.