Girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me, I have no other friends left.

Posted , 8 users are following.

Hi, I don't come to this website often. In fact I don't come at all. I just have absolutely no body to speak to and this feeling is extremely overwhelming and it keeps bottling up inside me. I try not to cry when I write this but I tear up a bit. I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 3 years everything has been great we shared alot of great memories. I couldn't live without her. I am an absolute social disaster, I am extremely shy and awkward around people and she was my only friend- in fact she was my soulmate. We have argued for the past few months and we've both been very emotional but something broke nearly 2 weeks ago. On that day I have been an idiot towards her, I was abusive (not physically) and I upset her in general up to the point where she just stormed out and left me. Things got even worse on facebook after she said that we need to talk and she offered a break - I didn't agree we argued and alot of mean things were said in both ways. Fast forwards 4 days and we managed to kinda get back together but as usual I messed it up only about 8 hours later. Fast forward to today, I speak to her on facebook, I was very careful and nice to her offered to take her out for a meal and buy her a gift. She wasn't having it, she kept telling me to stop, kept telling me that she doesn't want to be together. I literally begged her, it was so low because she didn't give a flying **** about me but I was there like a do begging her to take me back. She didn't agree to anything when I asked her if she loves me she kept saying I don't know. About 10 minutes ago she replied again saying "I don't know I don't think so" it shattered my heart, made my body shake and I feel like I want to burst out crying. I have no friends like at all, nobody. Most people have that one person they can fall back on, well I don't. I can't sleep or eat I try to sleep for as long as I can so I can spend fewer hours at home, I never go out I have no one to go out with all I do is wander from Facebook to Youtube and I watch the hours pass by. I think about her all the time, she was the only person I cared about and now there is no us anymore. It's summer, I'm stuck at home with nothing to do no hobbies, nothing. Next year I will have to go back to school and I will be in most of her lessons. There is nothing I can do, this anxiety and depression is crippling me I can feel it coming back. I suffered from depression 3 years ago and she was the person who turned my life upside down and now she's gone and things will be the same again. I just wanted to get my feelings out, I know that I will be crying all of today, tomorrow and possibly the whole week I just can't move on.

1 like, 10 replies

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    Don't say you can't because you can move on. You need time to get yourself some help before you find another girlfriend. Take time to cry everything out this is part of the hurting process and find yourself some help before you jump into another relationship. You need to find out who you are and learn to love yourself first before having a mate or friends 

    Things will fall into place so take it one day at the time 

    Elizabeth

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  • Posted

    Well first thing- a reality check is needed. You can't say she doesn't care- you treated her badly and she behaved as anyone would. So be fair about that. Next, anxiety is often a reason for people to behave badly - but it's not an excuse for it. If she's done, then shes done - accept that and move on. No it won't be easy, but you can't expect her to take you back, noone would.

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  • Posted

    You need to learn to love yourself before you can expect to be in any sort of healthy relationship. The same thing happened to me, my depression ruined my relationship, and as a result i lost the love of my life. I regret it every single day, the depression turned me into a monster, something that was not me. 

    Take time to yourself, and remember what makes you, you. When you've been in a relationship for so long, you can sometimes (well i did) forget what makes you special and what makes you very happy. You have spent such a long time with a person, that your sense of identity has been blurred. 

    Take this time to grieve your loss, but then focus on yourself. Take up some new hobbies, do some exercise, socialise even though i know its hard. Learn how to be happy on your own, because if you cant stand on your own two feet, then any relationship you do have will be based on you relying on your partner to make you feel happy. When actually you should be happy in your self, easier said than done i know!

    Be kind to yourself, you are going through a relaly tough patch, dont blame yourself for anything. Things happen for a reason, and so maybe this was the path your life was meant to takem even though it is pretty sh*tty. When my relationship broke down i tried committing suicide mutliple times and totally gave up on life. But after watching my elderly grand father cry at seeing me in a hospital bed after an oversode, i made a pact to myself that i would fight this.

    You can fight this, and you will. Life is for living, not for existing. Make the most of what you have and love what you have. Its rubbish that your girlfriend left you and i am so sorry for that, but you have more chance of winning her back if you can show her what she's missing - by being the gorgeous fun guy i am sure you are capable of being. 

    Take care and i wish you all the best, stay strong and stay safe. 

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for your reply! I have been having a very tought time lately, crying when no body is near, smoking and drinking excessively I can't cope with this. Your reply is very valuable to me right now, it cheered me up. Thank you

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  • Posted

    Losing someone you love & have invested a lot of time in is always gonna be hard. 

    I know it's easy to feel like you can't cope without them but this is something that will pass with time. I've been through my fair share of heartbreak & it can leave you feeling so lost & hopeless but there is so much more to life than that 1 individual.

    Use this time to put yourself first & focus on your own happiness independent of her.

    We all say things we don't mean or mistreat people we care about at times, no-one is pefect & you shouldn't be made to feel like you're a bad person for it. 

    Most of us on here understand, disregard the ones that don't.

    Take care 

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  • Posted

    Hello John,

    I've had the same problem, I may be months late on this response but I was I were there with you on that journey... to help you guide you, through your pain... I still struggling with anxiety and a bit of depression but I'm almost on the 1 year mark the day my Ex left me... it still upsets me I still cry sometimes, but it gets better with every tear, scream, and day. I used everything she taught me to get to where I am, and I'm a complete different person, "kind" all sense of the word. A person for her? Maybe. Do I wish she would come back? Maybe. With out her I am now a better person then she can ever believe in. And I'm sure you're becoming great yourself, that's just the way life is... its cruel but you make something beautiful out of it, everyday is a blessing! Cheers!

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  • Posted

    Hello, 

    I understand exactly where you are coming from. I recently had a bad ending to my relationship of 3 years with my girlfriend. She was my backbone, and now without her I have unbearable sad, torn, lost, & lonely feelings every day.. I also have no friends because I lost them all over the years. I feel like I don’t belong here because I can’t seem to make real friendships where they actually want to hang out with me.. People look at me as crazy, weird, whatever. Its a horrible feeling not being able to have anything socially workout knowing that we humans are social creatures. All of this makes it extremely difficult for me to have motivation at my job day in and day out. This talk about “learning to loving myself/be happy by myself/happiness from within” I wish I could learn this because I do look myself in the mirror at the end of everyday and say I gave it my 110% effort, but I’m still miserable with life. I guess I just continue to get back up on the horse...

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    • Posted

      Hello,

      By some mistake I stumbled across your message in my email spam folder. What happened to me happened a year ago, now I finished school and moved onto higher education and I feel much better. Trust me, this feeling is temporary I tried numbing it by drugs and alcohol and contrary to what others say it helps if you do it moderately and with self control, for a person like me something extra was needed and I guess it helped. I will not lie to you, speaking from experience it will hurt like a b***h, you will be dying inside but you have to go through it and you will come out as a better person at the end of it, I still have no friends, no stable relationship and experience extreme downs frequently but you have to learn to just say f**k it, ignore all that "learn to love yourself" bulls**t just attempt to manage yourself and your personality. The upcoming weeks and months will be tough if you are going through something similar as I did and all I can say is good luck, and if you need anyone to talk to I might not be your best bet but I will be checking this site and offer any help if you need it. Once again good luck!

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    • Posted

      John ive just started the beggining of my break up im 21 I started dating my girlfriend when we were 17 and now have a 2 year old daughter together please help me because even texting my friends isn't helping I want to die so bad I want this to be the end of my life but in such a pussy I can't kill myself no matter how much I want to

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